INTIMATE LETTERS ON 
PERSONAL PROBLEMS 



c*o J.R.MILLER.D.D.^ 




Class 
Book 









Copyright^?. 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSE 



INTIMATE LETTERS ON 
PERSONAL PROBLEMS 

J. B. MILLER, D.D. 



INTIMATE LETTERS ON 
PERSONAL PROBLEMS 



/ J^ BY 

J. R. MILLER, D.D. 



SELECTED AND ARRANGED BY 

JOHN T. FARIS, D.D. ' 



NEW YORK 
GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY 



-^ 



Copyright, 19 14, 
By George H. Doran Company 



OCT I9I9M 

©CI.A387097 
4U>/ 



FOREWORD 

MANY who have been permitted to read 
letters written by Dr. Miller to their 
friends have said hungrily, "If only I 
might have had such a message !" 

The longing is now to be gratified. Among 
Dr. Miller's papers were more than a score 
of letter-books in which copies were made of 
messages to his personal correspondents, known 
and unknown. These letters have been care- 
fully read, and a selection, made of a varied 
series, is printed in this volume. 

Many of those who are privileged to read 
these Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 
will feel that a message is coming to them. The 
sorrowing will find comfort; doubters will find 
that faith is strengthened ; the soul-hungry will 
find new glimpses of Christ's beauty ; those bur- 
dened by care will rejoice in the lightening of 
their load; and eager pupils in life's school will 
gladly note the strengthening words of him 
who learned the secret of helpfulness from the 
Friend who was his constant Companion. 

John T. Faris. 
Philadelphia, May 15, 1914. 

v 



Contents 



PAGE 

A Knight of the Golden Pen 1 

Getting Along with Others 

Paying the Debt of Love 15 

Doing One's Best 18 

Stumblingblocks 21 

The Lesson of Self -Control 24 

Entering Into the Lives of Others • • . 27 

Blessed — Or Being a Blessing .... 31 

Helping Others 34 

Talking About Oneself 37 

The Anxieties of the Toiler 

How to Glorify Taskwork 45 

To One Who Was Disappointed in Seeking a 

Change of Position < . . . 49 

To a Discouraged Teacher 51 

Carry an Oil Can 54 

What Duty Comes First? 56 

Victorious Living ...•*. 60 

How Does God Lead Us? 65 

Beginning the Christian Life 

A Plea to Accept Christ 71 

What It Means to Unite with the Church . . 76 

Which Church Shall I Join? .... 80 

No Withdrawing from the World ... 82 

Learning to Trust 85 

Letting the Face Talk 88 

Personality for Christ 92 

Wise and Unwise Testimony for Christ . . 95 

vii 



viii Contents 

Doubts and Doubters page 
To One Whose Religious Belief Has Been Un- 
settled 101 

To One Who Is Depressed 104 

The Simplicity of Faith 108 

To One Disturbed About the Higher Criticism . 112 

A Step at a Time .117 

Growing in Grace 

Near the Heart of Christ 125 

To One Who Wants to Get Close to Christ . . 129 

God with His People 131 

Underneath Are the Everlasting Arms . . 135 

Refuge in Christ 138 

Glorifying Self and Glorifying God . . . 140 

Prayer Problems 

The Joy of Talking with God . . . .147 

Shall We Pray for the Healing of Disease? . 150 

Why Prayer Is Not Answered .... 156 

Getting the Mastery Over Sin .... 159 



Young People's Problems 

The Choice of Amusements . 
To One Ambitious to Write Stories 
Encouragement to Common Service 
When Our Service Is Interrupted 
His Twenty-first Birthday . 



165 
172 
175 
177 
181 



Questions About Marriage 

To One in Doubt About Marriage . . . 189 

To One About to Be Married . . . .194 

When Her Engagement Was Broken . . . 197 

Loyalty to Christ Independent of Environment . 200 



Contents ix 

To Anxious Mothers page 

A Busy Mother's Spiritual Problems . . . 207 

A Mother's Burdens 213 

For a Mother Anxious About a Son . . . 216 

The Hard Things of Life 

Burdens , 225 

Mastering the Blues 229 

Helped by Hindrances 234 

In Green Pastures 237 

Songs in the Night of Pain .... 239 

Blessings in Hard Things 244 

Songful Acceptance of God's Will . . . 248 
In the Hands of God — I. To an Anxious Father, 

II. To the Sick Daughter .... 250 

His Grace Is Sufficient 254 

Comfort for the Bereaved 

What Is the Reason for Sorrow? . . .263 

God's Comfort in Sorrow 266 

Courage in Bereavement 270 

To a Mother Whose Child Has Died Suddenly . 273 

To a Widow 276 

On the Loss of a Friend 279 

Let Grief Lead to Service 281 

The End Will Be Glorious 286 



A KNIGHT OF THE GOLDEN PEN 



INTIMATE LETTERS 
ON PERSONAL PROBLEMS 



REV. J. R. MILLER, D.D., whom God 
called to himself July 2, 1912, after a 
lifetime of ministry to others, was fa- 
mous not only as author, editor and church 
builder, but also as a letter writer. And it 
was by his daily contact with people, in per- 
son and through the mails, that he was able to 
do the work which will make his name live as 
one who has served his fellows. 

For years it was his habit on Sunday even- 
ings, after the day's work was done, to make 
note of all the people of whom he had heard 
during the day to whom letters might do good. 
Of course the names of the sick went down 
on that list, as well as those who had recovered 
from sickness, those who had returned from a 
journey, and those who were about to leave 
home ; those who were going to college, or par- 
ents who had heard good news from a son or a 
daughter at college — in fact, everyone into 
whose life had come some event of special im- 
portance. As soon as possible a letter was sent, 
with an appropriate word of sympathy, con- 
gratulation, cheer, or good wishes. 

Then he kept a complete record of all the im- 
portant dates in the lives of his people — birth- 



4 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

days, wedding anniversaries, and so forth — 
and he marked each of these by sending a short 
letter of remembrance. 

As if this was not enough, when he heard 
from acquaintances, during the week, of sick- 
ness or death in a family with which he was ac- 
quainted — whether in his own town or in distant 
parts of America, or even in foreign countries 
— he seized the chance to write a letter. In 
fact, it was the rule of his life to send each day 
at least one letter of cheer to some one who was 

* in special need. Seldom, however, did he stop 
with one such letter; the day's mail from his 
office was frequently loaded with a dozen or 
more messages of cheer. The chance word with 
the street-car conductor, or the passenger who 
sat by his side, or the elevator boy, or the teller 
at the bank would give him the hint that 
prompted a message. Perhaps the morning 
paper would tell him of some one who had been 
called to a position of honor; possibly a caller 
would casually mention the fact that a friend 

* had just been married. Notes would be made 
of each of these opportunities for a helpful let- 
ter — and before the day was done the message 
was on its way. 

Once a visitor told Dr. Miller what one of 
these kindly letters had meant to him. Dr. 
Miller told the story himself in an article urg- 
ing others to write such letters. It never oc- 



A Knight of the Golden Pen 5 

curred to him that friends would know at once 
that he wrote the letter of which the young man 
spoke. This is the story, with Dr. Miller's own 
comment : 

' ' Only yesterday a young man took from his 
pocket a letter which he had carried for five 
years and which he had read no doubt hun- 
dreds of times. It was written when he was 
in great perplexity of mind and was on the 
point of turning into the darkness of doubt and 
despair. He reached out his hands for help, 
writing to one he knew he could trust, and lay- 
ing bare to him his heart's whole burden. He 
received a prompt answer which, if it did noth- 
ing else, at least brought to him the conscious- 
ness of human sympathy and interest. He was 
not alone. One cared for him. For the time, 
in the darkness, he could not see Christ, but 
he could see his human friend who stood close 
by him in love. 

1 ' The letter which came to him in answer to 
his heart's unburdening proved the very word 
of Christ to him. For months it was all the 
gospel he could read. Its few strong, simple, 
confident sentences were like anchor-chains to 
his soul amid the waves. At last all the dark- 
ness fled away, the storms were quieted, Christ 
himself was revealed once more in blessed, 
glorious light, and holy peace filled his soul. 

' i But it was the letter that saved him. It was 



6 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

the hand of Christ to him. Is it any wonder 
that he cherished it as the most sacred of all 
his treasures? It has been kept so long and 
read so often that the paper is worn out. But 
no money would buy it from the young man." 

"I can't understand how he could keep in 
touch with folks as he did," a business man 
said a few days after the death of the letter 
writer. "I have, carefully laid away, a package 
of messages from him. Somehow he kept track 
of me from the time I took my first position. 
Every time my salary was increased he wrote 
to me. There was a letter when I was married, 
and more letters on wedding anniversaries. 
When a child was born, when there was sick- 
ness in the home, when there were financial re- 
verses, when we were rejoicing or sorrowing 
for almost any special reason, he wrote to us. 
And to think that he did no more for us than 
for thousands of others, some of whom he had 
never seen." 

Dr. Miller wondered how it could be that hun- 
dreds of people whose names he had never heard 
were willing to confide in him and ask his coun- 
sel. Once he told his feeling in a letter: 

i i There is something very sacred in such ex- 
periences. One of the most uplifting things pos- 
sible in human life is to be trusted, especially 
to have one come with questions and possibly 
troubles or difficulties, hoping and expecting to 



A Knight of the Golden Pen J 

find light, comfort, or help. Nothing else in the 
world means quite so much to me as the fact 
that many people do thus put their confidence 
in me, taking my advice and counsel without 
question. 

When Dr. Miller was asked to write a mes- 
sage as to the privilege of letter-writing, after 
speaking of the use the art may be to pastors, 
he said: 

"Then others besides pastors may find many 
opportunities for helpfulness in letter-writing. 
It wants only an instinct which shall tell always 
when to write and to whom, and skill to write 
just the words that are needed, not too few, 
not too many, and never perfunctory; always 
from the heart; without cant, yet ever saying 
something worth while ; free from sentimental- 
ity, but breathing always the spirit of love; in 
no case officious or intrusive, but always sym- 
pathetic, inspired by the desire to be helpful, 
full of cheer. 

t i There is one kind of letters we should never 
be guilty of writing — letters which would dis- 
courage, which would make the heart less brave 
for its tasks and struggles. It is a sin to be a 
discourager, yet there are some people who 
are forever committing this sin. When we 
write letters we should always have something 
bright and uplifting to say. If we cannot write 
in this strain, we should put our letters into 



8 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

the wastebasket instead of into the mail box. 
When we write to those in sorrow, we need not 
dwell on the sad phases — our friends know these 
aspects of their trouble well enough already; 
our letter should rather bring its word of hope, 
something of God's wonderful comfort. When 
we send a letter to one who is ill, we are cruel 
if we say a word to make our friend more con- 
scious of his illness — too much sympathy has 
precisely and only this effect. It will be far 
kinder if we try to make our sick friend forget 
his illness and lift up his heart in hope and 
song. 

"The art of letter-writing ought not to be 
relegated to any museum of antiquities or bur- 
ied away among lost arts. It ought to be one 
of the fine arts of the best Christian modern 
life. No matter how busy we are, there come 
moments when the greatest thing we can do is 
to drop everything else and take time to write 
a letter to a child, to a young person at the part- 
V ing of the ways, to one who is in sorrow or in 
struggle, or to one who is not yet clear as to his 
duty. It may prove the word in season for the 
weary. ' ' 

Dr. Miller 's belief in letter-writing as a help- 
ful art was once shown by this message, sent 
to a correspondent: 

"I am glad that you are able to write letters. 
You always write cheeringly and inspiringly. 



A Knight of the Golden Pen 9 

By the way, there is no form of ministry in 
which a person who is gifted for it can do more 
good than in letter-writing. Have yon seen an 
account of the newest league — the League of 
the Golden Pen, I think it is called? It is not 
a society with officers and enrollments and dues 
and all that — it is simply a league which a per- 
son makes with himself and his fellow members, 
promising to write at least one letter every 
month to some person who needs cheer and 
comfort, strength and help. 

"I often think about Paul's prison life at 
Borne. When a man is shut away in prison, 
he is not supposed to have much opportunity 
of doing good. But Paul seems to have be- 
longed to the League of the Golden Pen. At 
least we know that he wrote letters to many 
people. Four of these prison letters at least 
we have preserved to us in the New Testa- 
ment. A shut-in who cannot engage in the ac- 
tivities of Christian life, but is able to write 
letters, can send out continually inspiration 
and encouragement to those who need these 
helps. No one knows the full value of such 
letters — letters written to sick people, to those 
in sorrow, to those in special joy, to those who 
are discouraged or depressed, to those who need 
guidance and counsel. 

"The other day a good woman came to my 
office and showed me a package of letters that 



*~ 



IO Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

I had written to her during a year or two when 
she was passing through peculiar experiences 
— about twenty-five years ago. They were all 
letters meant to lift her out of her dishearten- 
ment, to put new hope in her heart, to show her 
the reality of God's comfort, and to help her 
to make the most of her circumstances. She 
told me how sacredly she had kept those letters, 
and that she read them over frequently. She 
told me also how she had used them in helping 
other people in similar circumstances. The let- 
ters have been read and reread until some of 
them are literally worn out. This was a revela- 
tion to me. Of course I knew the value of let- 
ter-writing, but I had no thought that twenty- 
five years after they were written the letters 
would still be kept and read and reread. 

"I am sure you are doing a great deal of 
good by your letter- writing. If you have not 
strength to engage in teaching as you used to 
do, so long as you are able to use your pen as 
you do now you need not feel that you have no 
opportunity of being of use any longer. Use 
your pen and send out every day, or as often 
as you can, a letter or letters which will carry 
lessons or impulses to hearts and homes where 
they are needed. I know enough about your 
letters to know that they are always bright and 
cheerful. I think it was Walter Scott who said, 
at the close of his life, that he did not know 



A Knight of the Golden Pen n 

that he ever had written a single word which 
he could wish to have recalled or blotted out. 
Not everyone can say this. It seems to me that 
letters should always be just what yours are 
— letters which will give a new hope and en- 
couragement. 

"One of my little rules is, ' Never be a dis- 
courager. ' The last place I would put discour- 
agement would be in a letter, because when 
written down it stays there, to give discourage- 
ment every time it is read again. Your letters, 
I am sure, never contain a discouraging word, 
any sentence that would make, life harder for 
the person to whom you have written, to make 
the burden heavier, to make the path seem 
rougher. You always write words which put 
new courage into hearts, new hope, new joy. 

"Go on, my dear friend, in your ministry of 
letter-writing, and let Christ use your pen in 
this way for his service. God has given you 
a big heart, a great fountain of love and sym- 
pathy and cheer. Let the streams pour out con- 
tinually in all directions to bless the world. 
Hundreds and thousands of persons need en- 
couragement and uplifting. You will scarcely 
meet one man or one woman in the next ten 
days whom you cannot make a little stronger 
or braver by saying the right word. 

"I have a habit of writing letters, not only 
to people in my own parish, or to people with 



12 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

whom I am personally acquainted, but to other 
persons in my neighborhood who I hear are in 
trouble. I do this even to Catholic families 
sometimes. I never have known of any case 
in which such a letter was unwelcome. If pas- 
tors only understood the value of letters, how 
much comfort and strength they would give, 
they would make very much larger use of their 
pens in this way than they do. ' ' 



GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS 



Getting Along with Others 15 



PAYING THE DEBT OF LOVE 

ONE who is ready to serve others will al- 
ways have abundant opportunities for 
such service. Love never gets its debts 
paid off. You know Paul exhorts us to owe no 
man anything but love. He implies that we never 
can pay off all love's debts, or even if we do 
get them paid off at the close of some happy 
day, we shall find them waiting at our door in 
the morning, clamorous as ever. Of course, 
love is the law of Christian life. We cannot 
be Christlike unless we do love. But oh ! is not 
love tremendously costly sometimes ? I preached 
last evening to the young people on the kind 
of friend they should take into their lives. 
Among other things I spoke of the fact that in 
engaging to be one's friend we do not know 
what our engagement means, what we covenant 
to do, what burdens to carry, what sufferings 
to endure, what patience may be required of us, 
what toil and care and bearing of loads. Never- 
theless, love must never flinch from paying the 
full price. I know that often people assert very 
strong friendship for others and are sincere 
enough in their hearts at the time. But I have 
ofttimes seen these persons, when the demand 
for service came, flinch, unable to measure up 
to the standard of their own engagements. 



16 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

Yet do not understand that I am complaining. 
There is no other life like that of love. Noth- 
ing brings lis so much happiness as living for 
others, giving out our lives in sweet helpful- 
ness, whatever the cost may be. So I congratu- 
late you on the opportunity you are having for 
self-denial and costly serving of others. You 
remember Jesus said that he who saveth his 
life loseth it, while he who loses his life for the 
Master's sake saves it. That is, the only way 
to save our lives, to make them grow into 
beauty, to reach up into strength, is to give 
them out, empty them, to sacrifice them in what- 
ever ways we may be called upon to do. He 
that flinches at calls for self-denial, he that with- 
draws himself and holds back his life from pain 
and cost at love's demands, is losing that which 
he thinks he is saving. 

I am sure that God will answer your prayers, 
making you brave and keeping you sweet and 
patient in all the experiences through which 
you are called to pass. The Master never leads 
us anywhere without making provision for us. 
He never asks us to do impossibilities. Of 
course, he asks us to do many things that seem 
to us to be impossibilities — that would be, to 
human strength unhelped. But even these hard- 
est things become easy when we meet them in 
Christ's name, with his hand upon our heads, 
with his strength in our hearts. You remember 



Getting Along with Others 17 

Augustine's prayer which he used to make so 
often, " Command what thou wilt, and give 
what thou commandest. ' ' We need not fear any 
commands which God gives to us, nor shrink 
from any duties which he assigns to us, because 
we know that whenever he does thus lay upon 
us burdens too heavy for us to bear with our 
own feeble strength he always means to give us 
what we need. I like Paul's words, "I can do 
all things through Christ which strengthened 
me." 

Eegarding your share in the happiness of 
others in their wedded lives, I understand your 
feeling. But, my dear child, the sweetest hap- 
piness which we can get in the world comes 
from adding a little to the happiness of others. 
I know it is not easy when the hungry heart 
cries out for bread to see others eating to the 
full, when we cannot ourselves have even a 
crumb for our own hunger. But, after all, we 
do get many crumbs — indeed, the best bread is 
the bread from heaven, the bread of Christ's 
love.j Enter more and more deeply and fully 
into the love of Christ, and let that love fill 
your heart. I believe that God does not require 
us to crush or destroy anything in us that he 
has created. . Buddha's theory of life is that 
happiness will be reached by destroying the 
appetites and desires. Christ's theory is that 
happiness comes in the satisfaction of these de- 



1 8 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

sires and yearnings, not, of course, in lower 
ways, but in the higher ways. If the Master 
has denied to you the earthly satisfaction your 
heart craves so ardently, be sure that he means 
you to find that satisfaction in the higher 
things. Open your heart to the divine love. 
Spread your sails and catch the upper cur- 
rents. 

The secret of a beautiful life always is, liv- 
ing in unbroken fellowship with Christ, under 
the influence of his presence and the inspira- 
tion of his love and grace. If we could get 
this same realization of the divine presence 
into our life it would mean everything to us. 
You remember that phrase that is quoted so 
often in these days — "practicing the presence 
of God." We all say we believe that God is 
with us all the time, that Christ is ever by our 
side, closer than the nearest friend. Let us 
practice this faith. Let us act as if it were 
true. This is a wonderful lesson if we can 
learn it. I give it to you to-day, hoping that 
it may have its help and blessing for you in 
your own life. 

DOING ONE'S BEST 

IEEJOICE with you in the success you are 
having not only in your work, but per- 
sonally. Evidently you have become the 
center of a good influence which is reaching 



Getting Along with Others 19 

out and touching many other lives. I said last 
Sunday in speaking of work that we are not 
first to be carpenters or doctors or artists or 
lawyers, but are, first of all, to be Christians. 
Whatever we do in our ordinary secular work, 
if that is all there is of us, we are failing of our 
best. The life in us should pour out through 
our vocation, through all our ordinary work, 
and like fragrance, like the light, to bless the 
world. That is what you are doing. You are 
an artist and a teacher of art — but you are also 
far more. You are a Christian woman, with a 
heart full of love for Christ, which is always 
pouring out its gentle influences, touching the 
lives of others, sweetening homes, warming 
hearts, and inspiring people to live better, more 
beautifully, more worthily, more helpfully. 

This is my little sermon for you this month. 
It is not a sermon, but a bit of encouragement. 
But I believe that encouragement is very often 
the best that we can give to our friends. I 
am sure that encouragement is far better for 
a boy than nagging — probably for a girl, too. 
Even some good fathers and mothers seem in 
their family discipline and in the exercise of 
their love for their children never to get any 
further than " don't." The other day I read 
about a mother who called out to one of her 
daughters and said, "Where's Johnny V "I 
don't know," was the answer. "What is he 



20 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

doing V "I don't know," was again the an- 
swer of the sister. ' ' Well, go and find him, and 
whatever he is doing tell him to stop doing it. ' ' 

I am interested very much in what you say 
about your "bird-man." There are some men 
who seem to have a genius for nature. Birds 
and animals of all kinds seem to know them and 
form friendships with them. There are men 
who stay about our parks, only loafers or 
tramps, perhaps, but with whom the little ani- 
mals are as familiar as a child would be with 
its own mother. Everyone has his own particu- 
lar place in the world, and it may be that some 
of those we think of as entirely useless peo- 
ple are really doing a good deal more for the 
blessing of the world than we imagine. 

The last page of your letter amuses me. You 
say that you have sometimes felt quite like giv- 
ing up your art, Sunday-school work and every- 
thing else. If this really is an accurate state- 
ment of your condition at any time in your 
life, it must be when you are very much ex- 
hausted, or when you have eaten something 
for your supper which you ought not to have 
eaten. A great many of our unhappy moods 
are the result of careless or indiscreet living. 
If people would only learn not to overeat, not 
to eat when they should not eat, not to eat what 
they should not eat, and always to eat sparingly 
and abstemiously, they would be a great deal 



Getting Along with Others 21 

better Christians and a great deal happier and 
would do very much more work. 



STUMBLINGBLOCKS 

THEEE are several ways that people may 
put stumblingblocks in the way of 
others. A stumblingblock is something 
lying in the path over which the unwary pe- 
destrian falls. Applied in a moral or spirit- 
ual sense it means anything which interferes 
with the earnest, straightforward and happy 
Christian life of others. I suppose the thought 
usually in mind is: anything that influences 
another to be less faithful in duty, or which 
makes it harder for another person to live a 
Christian life. 

As you suggest, we can put stumblingblocks 
in the way of others by inconsistencies in our 
own life. For example, if parents are not 
faithful as Christians, do things they ought not 
to do, or leave undone things they ought to 
do, they are apt to hurt the lives of their chil- 
dren who are growing up under their influ- 
ence. The very best instruction, the most 
faithful teaching, will not avail if the life of 
the parent or teacher does not, at least in very 
large measure, corroborate and confirm the les- 
sons. 



22 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

The application may be made to all Chris- 
tian people in the community. We are the 
representatives of Christ. The world does not 
see Christ — does not read the Bible very much, 
and, therefore, does not know just what it is 
that Christ requires. We are required to live 
so that in our lives the world may learn what 
Christ is. If we stumble, therefore — that is, 
if we do not live as we should do — we hurt 
the cause of Christ in those who are watching 
us, and, besides, do harm to those who, proba- 
bly, if our example were different, might be 
led to follow Christ themselves. 

I think you have heard me tell this incident 
of Miss Havergal. Just after having been con- 
firmed in an Episcopal church she went to 
a large girls ' school, with a heart full of love 
for the Saviour, and with a mind intent upon 
faithfully witnessing for him. But she was 
startled to learn that she was the only Chris- 
tian in all the hundred girls in the institution. 
All the rest were worldly, society girls, with 
no thought of Christ. Her first feeling was 
that she could not confess Christ among those 
girls. Her second and better thought, however, 
was that she could not but confess him. "I 
am the only one Christ has in this school, ' ' she 
said. This made her very strong, and, sus- 
tained by the grace of Christ, she went on 
quietly confessing her Saviour in all her dis- 



Getting Along with Others 23 

position and life, as well as by her words, 
deeply influencing in time all the school. If 
she, being the only Christian in the school, had 
lived carelessly, as so many girls do when they 
are away from home, she would have been a 
stumblingblock in the way of the others. 

There are other ways in which we may be- 
come stumblingblocks. I suppose whatever in 
us, whether in act or word, discourages an- 
other, makes life harder for another, puts a 
stumblingblock in the other's way. It seems to 
me we should all live so as to be helpful to 
others in every possible way. If one of our 
friends is carrying a heavy burden, and we 
say something which discourages him, or makes 
it harder for him to walk with his heavy load 
on his shoulder, is not that a stumblingblock 
cast in his way? So unkindnesses to others 
make stumblingblocks. Whatever in us, in our 
acts, or in our words, makes it harder for other 
people to live is a stumblingblock which we cast 
in their way. 

I am very glad indeed to learn what you say 
about your friend who has come into your life, 
and with whom you are enjoying such pleasant 
intercourse. Evidently your prayer has been 
answered. You will be very helpful to each 
other, the one encouraging the other. No privi- 
lege is sweeter than that of kneeling, side by 
side, with one whom we love, and praying to- 



24 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

gether for each other and for our families and 
friends and for our church and for the inter- 
ests of God's kingdom. I am very glad indeed 
that God has heard your prayer and has 
brought you two together in such pleasant and 
cordial relations. You remember there is a 
special promise which says, "If two of you 
shall agree' ' — so you see this gives you added 
power in prayer. If you two agree to ask God 
for anything, the promise is doubly strong 
that he will grant your request. 

THE LESSON OF SELF-CONTROL 

THE lesson of self-control which you are 
trying to learn is never an easy one. 
In fact, it is the great lesson of life. It 
is a lesson we should always try to learn. Noth- 
ing can make one more weak, or put one more 
in peril at every point than the lack of self- 
control. These runaway tongues of ours are 
worse than wild horses when they get started. 
You remember what James says about the 
tongue in his little Epistle. He makes it out 
to be a very unruly member indeed, full of fear- 
ful power to hurt others. I need not, however, 
dilate upon this, nor write an essay upon the 
sins of the tongue. What I want to say is that 
you must not be discouraged because you have 
not yet succeeded in learning to control your- 



Getting Along with Others 25 

self. You remember the old song, "If at first 
you don't succeed, try, try again.' ' This is a 
teaching which we should always keep with us. 
However often we may fail, we should start 
over again, determined to master. Conquest 
is very slow and it takes a long time to get the 
mastery. We have recently had in our Sun- 
day-school lessons the story of Moses. After 
forty years in Egypt, when he had had the best 
training that any man could get, he showed 
himself utterly incapable of self-government. 
His quick temper and rashness got him into 
trouble, for he killed an Egyptian in his anger. 
He was then compelled to flee away from Egypt, 
sacrificing everything he had toiled for all these 
forty years. This suggests the terrible harm 
the lack of self-control sometimes does one. It 
costs tremendously. But you remember also 
that God took Moses in charge then and kept 
him for forty years in the wilderness as a shep- 
herd with a flock of sheep. During those forty 
years Moses learned self-control and came back 
at eighty years of age and led his people out 
of Egypt. During forty years more of the most 
terrible trials any man ever had Moses never 
once lost his temper until near the very close 
of the period, when again, in a sore trial, he 
did lose control of himself and spoke unad- 
visedly. 
What I want to show to you is that even great 



26 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

men, like Moses, have found long and sore dis- 
cipline necessary, before they could learn the 
lesson which you say you have not yet learned. 

There is one little sentence, however, in the 
eleventh chapter of Hebrews which gives the 
secret of Moses' victory over himself. It says, 
"He endured, as seeing him who is invisible." 
That is, Moses always remembered that God 
was right beside him, his friend to help him, 
and this made him strong. He did not see God 
— no one ever saw God ; but it was as if he saw 
him. That is, he realized the divine presence 
in all his life and learned his lessons under this 
blessed influence. 

If you saw Christ standing beside you all 
the time it would not be hard for you to keep 
sweet, to keep control of temper and speech. 
Now Christ is beside you just as really as he 
was beside Mary when she sat at his feet in 
Bethany, or beside Peter and the other disciples 
as they walked together over the hills of Ju- 
dea and Galilee. What you want is to realize 
this fact. We know that God is present with 
us all the time, at every moment, by day or by 
night. He is closer than any human friend can 
be to us. Indeed, we are to practice this pres- 
ence — that is, we are to live all the time as if 
we actually saw him. 

I have said enough to help you in this direc- 
tion. Think it out for yourself. If you re- 



Getting Along with Others TJ 

member always that Christ is by you, not only 
to see you, but to help you, as your truest and 
best Friend, you will soon get the mastery. 



ENTERING INTO THE LIVES OF OTHERS 

I HAVE no doubt that you were wisely 
guided in your decision to resign your 
teaching work for next year. I think you 
need a time of freedom from such a strain as 
teaching necessarily involves. These months of 
rest, with no tasks to think of, will give you the 
opportunity to build up the wasted tissue and 
get strong again. Teaching is never easy. The 
fact that you have to be on hand every morn- 
ing at nine o 'clock and go by a schedule through 
all the school hours of the day, day after day, 
week after week, month after month, makes a 
pressure upon nerve and brain which cannot 
but be exhausting. People often talk about 
the easy time teachers have, with only five or 
six hours a day of work, and only five days in 
the week, with only ten months in the year — 
but the teacher who is conscientious, as you 
are, and does her work well, preparing for it 
carefully and minutely, then carrying her pu- 
pils on her heart all the time in loving interest, 
almost as tender as a mother's — draws heavily 
upon her resources. Some people teach with- 



28 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

out much outlay of emotion, because they teach 
mechanically, not really loving their pupils 
or taking any responsibility beyond the faith- 
ful performance of the classroom duties. But 
that is not the kind of teacher you are. You 
put your whole heart into your work in such 
a way that when the day is done you are ex- 
hausted. I am glad therefore that you can 
have a year of rest. 

I am sorry that you have had a little extra 
burden to carry at home. I suppose a person 
with your warm heart cannot help entering into 
the lives of one's own in such a way as to suf- 
fer vicariously as you are doing. I have been 
trying for a good while to teach my people, 
however, that all they can do for their friends, 
even their closest and dearest friends, is to keep 
them bound by prayer fast around the feet 
of God with chains of gold. Sometimes we can 
speak to our friends who are not doing quite 
right and by loving exhortation help them out 
of their danger, but very often such efforts 
only do harm and not good. I think even many 
mothers do a good deal too much talking to 
their children in the way of reproof or cor- 
rection. 

Take a case in point. There is a young man 
in whom I am very deeply interested, whose 
life I have been watching very closely for sev- 
eral years. He is married and has a little f am- 



Getting Along with Others 29 

ily. Three or four months ago his wife came 
to me and told me in perfect confidence of his 
yielding to certain temptations, and asked me to 
talk with him. I told her very frankly that 
we would have to be exceedingly careful if we 
were to help him and save him. I promised 
her to do all I could but begged her not to say 
much herself, but to pray a great deal, assur- 
ing her that I would pray too, and if the op- 
portunity came would speak to him. The op- 
portunity has not come yet, and perhaps it may 
never come. But I have been praying a great 
deal and his wife has been praying too — and 
we have prayed together several times for him. 
Last Sunday the wife slipped a note in my hand 
as she went out of the church door telling me 
that she believed the danger was all past. The 
comfort is that God has heard the prayers and 
touched the man's heart. I have sought mean- 
while to interest him in certain lines of church 
work. I have also cautiously asked some of the 
men to interest themselves in him, but I have 
not said a word to him. 

I merely refer to this incident to tell you that 
I believe, after a good many years of experi- 
menting in the Master's work, that we can do 
most for people in their times of danger in- 
directly and by prayer. I do not know what 
the particular danger is in your sister's case, 
but God knows and you can talk to him very 



30 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

frankly, telling him your perplexity, and asking 
him to do the thing that is best. 

Individuality is most sacred. We cannot 
touch another person's life without the other 
person's consent. We cannot force even our 
love upon people, nor compel them to do what 
is right. All we can do, all that even a parent 
can do for a child, is to use our influence and 
let God do the rest. The moment we try to 
use any compulsion or to urge a person in any 
way but through the conscience and heart, we 
are violating the sanctity of personality and 
also endangering the life. 

Did you ever try to open a rose a day or two 
before its natural time for opening? If you 
did, you know that it would have been better 
if you had waited a day or two and let the rose 
open in its own way, under the influence of 
the sun and the dew. 

You ask me if I have any idea as to what God 
is trying to do with you. Indeed I have not, 
but my comfort is that God himself has a very 
distinct idea of what he is going to do with you. 
I think you have a book of mine in which there 
is an article called, " God's Slow Making of 
Us." 1 If so, it may have a suggestion or two 
in answer to your question. It is a great com- 
fort to you to know that God is not hacking 
away at the block of marble without any 

1 "Upper Currents." 



Getting Along with Others 31 

thought of what he is going to make. Even 
a common sculptor has something in his 
mind, if not fashioned in clay, of what he means 
to hew the marble into, and I am sure God never 
begins work on the human mind without an 
ideal. The Germans say, "Every man's life is 
a plan of God." The thought is very beauti- 
ful and is also true. In the experiences through 
which we pass, we know that there is an eye 
watching, and a wisdom overruling, and that all 
things are so directed that in the end God's 
ideal for our lives shall be realized. 



BLESSED— OE BEING A BLESSING 

I AM glad to know of the encouragement 
you have at college in your Young 
Women's Christian Association work. I 
am glad to know you are so happy in your work. 
My heart goes out to you continually in af- 
fectionate interest, and in longing that you may 
be blessed and be a blessing. These two phases 
of life should always go together — indeed, 
they cannot well be separated. If we are 
blessed we ought to be and cannot help being 
a blessing. There are two ranges of windows 
in every life — one range toward God and one 
toward the world. We should keep both open 
all the while. We should keep every window 



32 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

open toward God, that we may receive continu- 
ally the blessings which he would send to us 
from heaven. Nothing is sadder than to have 
one's windows toward heaven closed, so that 
when the benedictions are sent to us from the 
blue sky, or, rather, from God's heart, they find 
no entrance. This is the way too many people 
live. They leave God out altogether. They 
have no windows open toward heaven. The 
benedictions fall upon them but find no admit- 
tance, and they remain unblessed. But you al- 
ways keep the windows open, every window, 
and God is pouring into your heart continually 
the richest blessings of his love. 

Then the windows on the other side should 
also be kept open toward the world. That is 
the way God wants us to live. He does not 
give us blessings to keep for ourselves. In- 
deed, nothing becomes our own really and truly 
until we have passed it on, until we have given 
it to some other one. Things we keep for our- 
selves only spoil in our hands and in our hearts, 
and nothing good comes of them. It is only 
when we give out again to others what God 
gives us that we are blessed. This is the way 
you are living too. You keep your heart open 
toward your girls all the while, and everything 
God gives to you you pass to them. Your letter 
is full of this thought — the eagerness of your 
heart to be a blessing to those among whom 



Getting Along with Others 33 

you are laboring. It is my most earnest prayer 
that God will enrich you in all ways, in your 
own life, through your own experiences, that 
you may be truly a blessing to all about you. 
You need not have any fear that the girls will 
not come to you. As I have said to you before, 
I believe one of the dangers of Christian work- 
ers is a little overeagerness, that is, a desire 
which finds expression a little too evidently, 
to help others. This has always been one of 
my own dangers. In my earnest desire to be 
of use I have sometimes frightened persons 
away, or, at least, have made them a little shy. 
As a rule, we help people best when they do 
not know we are helping them. At least, we 
find quickest and closest access to them when 
we do not show that we are eager and desirous 
to do them good. Not many people really care 
about being helped in a set and purposed way. 
I am satisfied that the best work of our life is 
done when we restrain our desire and hold our 
eagerness in reserve. You know how it destroys 
a rose to try to open it before it opens natu- 
rally. The same is true of human lives. We 
must not open them — God must do that, and 
all we can do is to wait until they open nat- 
urally. 

I am sure that a great many pastors and 
workers in various lines of Christian service 
need to learn this lesson. Sometimes we have 



34 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

to wait for a long time before the occasion 
comes when we can really give a person the 
blessing, the comfort, the help, the inspiration, 
which we wish to give him. You must not 
fear, therefore, that you cannot find access to 
the girls. You love them and you are praying 
for them continually. One by one, when the 
time is ripe, they will come to you and you will 
have the opportunity of saying to them the 
word it is in your heart to say, and doing for 
them the kindness that you wish to do, or giv- 
ing them the help or the blessing which you 
are so eager to give unto them. You want God 
to send them to you, and he will. 



HELPING OTHERS 

YOUR work seems to have been increasing 
since I saw you. I suppose there is some 
compensation in the extra money it 
brings in, especially as you told me you were 
living on a pretty close margin with your pres- 
ent income. I wish there were some way to 
make your regular income larger, so that you 
would have no such anxiety about making ends 
meet. I trust that something better will come 
by and by — that you will be able to live without 
so much care. 
You speak about some people being hard to 



Getting Along with Others 35 

help. I suppose this comes from two things — 
first, because life yields very slowly to deep 
and permanent impressions, especially good 
and uplifting impressions; secondly, because 
we cannot always tell when we are helping peo- 
ple the most and in the best way. 

There is no doubt that influences toward evil 
are much more apt to make instant impression 
than influences toward good. There certainly 
is something in our nature which causes us to 
gravitate naturally downward, toward things 
that are less beautiful. I remember a prayer 
of Fenelon's : "Lord, take me, for I cannot give 
myself to thee. And when thou hast me keep 
me, for I cannot keep myself. And save me 
in spite of myself, for Jesus Christ's sake. 
Amen." I suppose this prayer voices the ex- 
perience of almost anyone who is sincere and 
thoughtful and truly striving toward the best 
things. We all understand this inward ten- 
dency toward things that are not beautiful and 
good. The way toward heaven is always up- 
ward, and means climbing. You remember that 
a ladder was Jacob's vision of life. What we 
find to be true in ourselves in our efforts to 
reach better things is also true of others whom 
we desire to help. There is something in them, 
too, as well as in us, which resists good impres- 
sions. Therefore, it is hard for us to do them 
good in moral and spiritual ways. 



36 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

On the other hand, we cannot tell really when 
we are doing good, or making impressions. Oft- 
times we think we are not affecting the persons 
at all by what we say or do, while really we are 
putting into their hearts impulses, inspirations, 
which will ultimately come to full fruitage in 
blessing and good. I think that nothing good 
is ever really lost. The good words we speak 
and the good things we do as we go along 
through life may seem to have no effect; but 
the good seed is not lost, even though it does 
not grow in the hearts in which we seek to plant 
it. You know what Charles Kingsley says about 
the seed that falls by the wayside and is picked 
up by the birds — that, though the birds get it, 
yet the birds are fed. That is, if your efforts 
do not do just that which you hoped they would 
do, help the person you want to help, yet the 
good, itself, is not lost, but touches some other 
person's life with benediction and beauty. 

The last verse of the fifteenth chapter of 
First Corinthians has always been a wonderful 
comfort to me — "Your labor is not in vain in 
the Lord." Paul had spoken, throughout the 
chapter, of resurrection and the immortal life 
and this thought in the close of the wonder- 
ful passage suggests to us that everything we 
do lays hold upon infinity and eternity. It will 
go on forever. Even if the good effort seems to 
fail to-day and to-morrow, and unto the end 



Getting Along with Others 37 

of our life, still it has eternity to work in, and 
sometime, somewhere, in some way, it will be 
a blessing. 



TALKING ABOUT ONESELF 

YOU certainly have misunderstood the 
chapter in one of my books, 1 to which 
you refer, about "Talking of One- 
self. ' ' The persons I refer to in the article are 
those who talk to everybody about themselves 
and about nothing else. Only two or three days 
since I had a call from such a person — indeed, I 
see the person quite often. He will talk about 
nothing else but himself. He is a clergyman, 
and, of course, a very great man, and, no doubt, 
there is a great deal to talk about. But from 
the time when he comes in until he goes out 
there is no chance for even a mere suggestion 
concerning anything else than the speaker him- 
self. They said that Lord Macaulay, while 
the greatest speaker England ever knew, could 
in no possible sense be called a conversation- 
alist. He never gave the other man a chance 
for a word. But the beauty of Macaulay, how- 
ever, was that he did not talk about himself, 
but about the great themes that filled his mind. 
A lady told me last summer about her pastor. 

1 "Things to Live For." 



38 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

She said that he called at her home one after- 
noon about two o'clock. She had a number of 
engagements for the afternoon, and was very 
impatient to get away. But the pastor began 
to talk, not about himself, but about the things 
that lay nearest his heart, and never left the 
house until a quarter past six — when her tea 
bell rang and gave him an intimation that he 
would better be going. 

The visitor to whom I referred before is not 
this sort of man. He talks about himself, his 
own work, what he has been doing, what peo- 
ple say about him, the great achievements he 
has made, and all such matters. He has only 
one virtue — he is not a morbid, retrospective 
person, does not talk about his ailments, his 
sufferings, his personal troubles, but about his 
greatness, his wisdom, his high attainments, 
and so forth. 

But let me say to you in a word that I believe 
most sincerely in talking about oneself as 
you do. A great many people are the same way. 
They never talk about themselves to people in 
general. Those who see them every day would 
not know they ever had a care or a pain or 
suffered in any way. But they need some per- 
son, a sort of priest, to whom they can unbur- 
den themselves, just as a sick patient does to a 
physician. You might just as well say that 
it is not right for you to tell your physician 



Getting Along with Others 39 

all about your disease, as to say that you should 
not tell all your spiritual experiences and spir- 
itual needs to one who may be able to help you. 
I am sure you do not talk about your physical 
condition in detail to anybody but your physi- 
cian. 

Have you ever thought that the way Christ 
nearly always helps people is through human 
friends? He does not come himself in person, 
in bodily presence. Ordinarily he sends some 
one, because we cannot, in our human condition, 
receive spiritual help directly — we need a 
mediator. My work as a Christian teacher 
and a Christian minister is to represent Christ, 
to interpret Christ, not only in my words, but 
in my life. Some person longs to know a lit- 
tle about the love of Christ and Christ sends 
him to me. Some man is struggling with ter- 
rible temptation. He must have the human 
touch, the clasp of the human hand, the en- 
couragement of the human voice, the beating 
of the human heart ; so Christ sends him to me 
that I may show him a little at least of the di- 
vine compassion, the divine affection, the divine 
sympathy, a little of the divine encouragement. 
Just so far as I represent Christ truly do I 
become a real help to those who need me. 

I think you understand now just what I mean 
by the article to which you refer. I am sure 
you understand that I do not have any refer- 



4-0 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

ence at all to such revealings of oneself as 
you have made to me when you wished to have 
my help. 

You probably know some people of the kind I 
referred to in the article. I know some people 
that I never dare ask when I meet them, ' i How 
are you to-day ?" If I put the greeting in that 
form I am sure to get a long narrative of suf- 
ferings, pains, bad colds, restless nights, dreary 
days, and a hundred other things which belong 
to the list of human ills. I have one man in 
mind now whom I always very carefully greet 
with a simple ' ' Good morning, ' ' not giving him 
any chance to speak of his condition. Then 
when he begins his list of ailments I try by 
some cheerful word to divert his mind from its 
sad strain into a more cheerful and happy 
mood. 

I mortally offended a young woman who came 
to me the other day with a long and sad story. 
The case was a sad one — a home with feeble 
parents, money all gone, and pinching want fac- 
ing the family. I took the matter up at once 
in a very practical way, trying to find some- 
thing for the girl to do — that is what she came 
to me for. Then, having done this, I merely 
said to her : ' ' Now, my child, try to be brave 
and cheerful. Do your duty and trust God, 
and he will take care of you. ,, She wrote the 
same night a long letter, telling me that I had 



Getting Along with Others 41 

hurt her very sorely by not showing her any 
sympathy. She said that when she told me her 
troubles, instead of sympathizing with her, I 
merely said, "Be brave, my child.' ' She 
wanted to have condolence of a kind which I 
never give to any person. You know enough 
about me to know that my aim is never to make 
people 's burdens heavier by talking about them, 
and dwelling upon their sad features, but to 
put cheer and encouragement into their hearts, 
so that they can rise up in new strength and 
go bravely on in their allotted experiences. 
This is the true secret of the art of being a 
comforter. The word " comfort' ' means to 
strengthen, and the true comforter is the one 
who tries to make others stronger. If I can 
take away the trouble, of course it may be 
better for me to do it. Ordinarily we cannot 
lessen the burden, and all we can do is to make 
the burden bearer a little stronger to go on 
keeping his load. 

What I want to say to you is that the truest 
friend is not the one who sits down beside you 
and goes over the painful experiences of your 
life with you in detail, merely for the sake of 
showing sympathy, but the one who, having 
listened sympathetically and lovingly to the re- 
cital of your sufferings or your pain, then be- 
gins to be a healer, a physician. 



THE ANXIETIES OF THE TOILER 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 45 



HOW TO GLOEIFY TASKWOEK 

EVIDENTLY you are a busy person. 
Some one says that one's value in so- 
ciety is measured by one's interrup- 
tions — that is, by the demands which other 
people make upon one for help, for service. 
Evidently many persons make demands upon 
you, many claim you and the loving help which 
you can give. All this speaks of your own good 
heart. I believe that God intrusts to his serv- 
ants the work which he knows by experience 
they will do faithfully. Some people are sel- 
fish and unwilling to serve others; these are 
not apt to get many opportunities of serving 
others in the true sense. But when one has 
proved willing to serve and give out life for 
others, then God is ready to give more and 
more, until hands and hearts are full. 

Long since I learned that interruptions — 
what people call interruptions, the breaking 
into one's own schedule of needs and wants 
from others — are often bits of God's will 
which are given to us to do. For example, one 
makes a program for a day, enough to fill every 
moment of it, but scarcely has the day begun 
when some one comes with a need, a sorrow, 
something that seems to demand that we should 



46 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

stop our regular work and turn aside. We 
are apt to chafe at these interruptions, but 
I believe that often the things which thus 
press in upon us, breaking into our own plans, 
are the most sacred things of our days. I have 
no doubt that you regard your life as Christ's, 
to be used in whatever way he would have you 
to use it. Your motto is, at least in substance, 
" Whose I am, and whom I serve.' ' By go- 
ing about from place to place among your 
friends, helping them in Christ's name, you 
bring to them the Spirit of Christ and the love 
of Christ and also the helpfulness of Christ. I 
trust that you will have rich enjoyment in all 
this service, and that you will always be found 
helping somebody. 

This reminds me of something I have read 
about Sir Bartle Frere. He was always serv- 
ing in some way. He had been absent for quite 
a while in one of his African explorations, and 
was to return by a certain train. Lady Frere 
sent a servant to meet him at the station. The 
servant was new and never had seen Sir Bar- 
tie. He asked his mistress how he would know 
him. "Oh," said she, "look for a tall man 
helping somebody." The servant went to the 
station, and when the train arrived he eagerly 
watched for his new master, trying to identify 
him by his wife's description. Soon he saw a 
tall man helping an old lady out of a railway 




The Anxieties of the Toiler 47 

carriage, and knew at once that it must be the 
person he sought. It is a very beautiful way 
to be known — one who is always helping some 
person. I am sure this applies to you. When 
I go to your country and try to find you I shall 
be sure to find you trying to help somebody. 

I am sure that as you turn your thought 
toward the higher phase of taskwork, all that 
now seems drudgery will become beautiful and 
radiant service. Anything that we do for 
Christ, if we can realize indeed that it is for 
him, ceases to be dreary and toilsome, and be- 
comes a matter of joy and gladness. May God 
help you more and more to set Christ before 
you always in everything you do, and to work 
always for him, no matter for whom you are 
working directly, or what lowly and dreary 
work you are doing. 

Did I ever tell you the story which Mrs. Pres- 
ton has woven into one of her little poems ? It 
tells of two children — an older and younger 
sister. The younger one was sickly, perhaps 
lame and helpless. When the mother died she 
committed the care of this little child to her 
older sister, herself not much more than a 
child. All her time was taken up in caring for 
the little home and watching over this lame 
sister. One day she heard a sermon in which 
the minister urged that everyone should do 
something for Christ, the King. He put it too 



48 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

strongly, in such a way as to leave a wrong 
impression on the child's mind. She began to 
fret because she was so occupied with the care 
of her little sister and the duties of the home 
that she had no time to spend, not even a min- 
ute, in working for Christ. One day, when she 
sat beside the bed where the sick child lay, she 
dreamed that the King had come, and that she 
had told him how sorry she was that she could 
not do anything for him; that while her heart 
was full of love for him, and while she wished 
she might be of use, all her time was taken up 
with this suffering child. The King, looking 
into her face, said, "But the child is mine." 

You see the teaching at once. The girl's 
whole time was taken up, absorbed even to the 
last particle of strength, in caring for her lit- 
tle sister. She thought that she was not doing 
anything for Christ, and only gave as her rea- 
son that all her time was taken up. But the 
fact that the child herself belonged to Christ 
changed everything — all the beautiful service 
she was rendering was done really for Christ 
since the child was his, and, in caring for her, 
she was serving him most acceptably and beau- 
tifully. This is but another little glimpse into 
the same truth which I tried to show you. In 
caring for the children in your school, devoting 
yourself to them, even if your time is so occu- 
pied that you can do nothing directly for Christ 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 49 

in working for his Church, yet the children are 
his, and all you do for them is done really for 
him. 

You must not be discouraged about your 
work. As I have said to you before, you are a 
learner, and the mistakes which you say you 
are still making in your work, and the imper- 
fections which you still find in what you do, 
are merely incidents in the growth of your life 
and in your progress toward better things. 



TO ONE WHO WAS DISAPPOINTED IN 
SEEKING A CHANGE OF POSITION 

I HOPE that you will have a good year in 
the office. I have not forgotten your de- 
sire to get something else, but it seems 
as if God wanted you to stay where you are, 
at least for the present. I believe that when 
we are doing our duty faithfully as it comes 
to us, day by day, and are living in free and 
familiar intercourse with Christ, telling him our 
wishes and our desires, from day to day, we 
are always divinely led. It is right for us to 
ask God to give us a different position, in a 
more congenial place, where the work is more 
to our taste, or easier, or more fruitful, or more 
agreeable, but, if after we have made such re- 
quest the Master still lets us stay where we 



50 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

are, I suppose we should accept his providen- 
tial leading as an answer to our prayers. Or, 
rather, we should believe that he still has work 
for us in the place where we now are. I have 
had so many very striking and remarkable il- 
lustrations of the divine guidance in cases like 
yours that I have learned to have an implicit 
confidence in God's providence. Of course, the 
Bible teaches me that his providence is always 
right, but the experiences which I have had with 
people, as well as with myself, have given me 
such practical illustrations of this truth, that 
what the Bible states as true I have had proved 
to me over and over again to be indeed true. 
If you are still kept in the office where you 
now are during the coming winter, I think you 
may say that Christ has something for you to 
do there, something which would suffer if you 
would go away, something which no other one 
could do so well as you can. 

Then I have no doubt that part of the an- 
swer to your prayer comes in the blessing to 
yourself. We do not always get our best les- 
sons when we have our own way — we learn 
many of these golden lessons when we are com- 
pelled to take another way than our own. The 
lesson of submission to God, of beautiful con- 
fidence in God's way, is certainly a very pre- 
cious one. It is wonderful to think that God 
has a plan for our lives. If we believe this I 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 51 

am sure it is a high honor for us to try to fulfill 
His plan. 

"This thing on which thy heart was set, this thing that can- 
not be, 

This weary, disappointing day, that dawns, my friend, for 
thee : — 

Be comforted; God knoweth best, the God whose name is 
Love, 

Whose tender care is evermore our passing lives above. 

He sends thee disappointment? Well, then take it from 
his hand. 

Shall God's appointment seem less good than what thyself 
had planned?" 

Excuse my rambling on in this preachy way. 
I hope that you will be very happy and very 
strong. May God bless you in all your good 
work. 

TO A DISCOUEAGED TEACHEE 

I AM sorry that you did not get the little ob- 
jectionable feature eliminated from the 
school board's record. But it is all over 
now, and you must not mind it. It will never be 
heard of outside of the board, and, if it should 
be, it will not do you any harm. I have learned 
long since that, when a person's life is right, 
the little annoyances that come from other peo- 
ple do one no harm, and the wrongs done by 
others, if let alone, if left in God's hands, bring 



52 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

only good and blessing in the end to the one 
who suffers. This is the lesson I tried to teach 
you, you remember, when you were here. It 
is true, part of God's own word. 

"What I want to help you to do now, my child, 
is to lay the matter out of your own hands into 
God's hands and give it no thought. Forget 
it, let Christ take care of it, and you will never 
hear of it again excepting in the way of bless- 
ing and good. It is said that one day Euskin 
was talking with a friend who picked up a 
beautiful and costly embroidered handkerchief 
which had a great ink spot at the center of it. 
The lady was very much vexed and annoyed 
at the carelessness of the person who had thus 
spoiled the handkerchief. She said to Mr. Eus- 
kin that it was a present from some dear friend 
and would never be of any use to her any more. 
Mr. Euskin said nothing, but quietly put the 
handkerchief in his pocket. Some days after, 
he called on his friend and handed her the hand- 
kerchief, and, lo! he had put on it in India 
ink a beautiful drawing, using the ink blot at 
the center as the basis of the ornamentation. 
The effect was exquisite and the lady expressed 
her surprise in unmeasured terms. 

That is the way God does with the things 
that touch our lives, if only we leave them in 
his hands. He uses the very wrong that has 
been done to us ; the very injustice or injury, 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 53 

as the basis of something very good and very 
beautiful which he brings into our lives. All I 
want you to do is to put this matter entirely 
out of your own hands. Do not talk about it 
to anybody. Do not allow yourself to think 
about it. In a little prayer commit it all to 
your Master. Some day you will find that good, 
and not evil, has come out of it. But if you 
take the matter into your own hands and try 
to right your own wrong and undo what others 
have done to you, you will lose what otherwise 
Christ wants to do for you. 

Now hold up your head and sing and rejoice. 
You are leaving behind six years of beautiful 
work. You have touched the hearts of hun- 
dreds of children during these years and left 
impressions upon their lives which they will 
carry into the immortal years. A teacher's 
work is not seen at once — it is done in invisi- 
ble ink which will not appear for a while. But 
everything beautiful that you have done, every- 
thing good, everything worthy, will stay, and 
some day appear in life as character. You re- 
member Longfellow's little fancy about the song 
which he sang into the air, which fell to the 
earth, he knew not where — and how he found 
it, long, long afterwards, from beginning to end, 
in the heart of a friend. Thus it will be that 
the good work you have done as a teacher will 
stay in the world. You do not know where it 



54 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

has gone — you cannot trace it now — but some 
day it will all reappear. Besides, you have a 
clear conscience, for you know that you have 
done your duty faithfully. Finish up your work 
here beautifully. Let nothing that has hap- 
pened in any way mar the sweetness of your 
closing days at the school. Be as happy as a 
bird. Let your love flow out toward your pu- 
pils and fellow teachers and friends. Make the 
last days the best of all days. Then you will 
carry away sweet memories which even the un- 
happy circumstance of the school board will 
not mar. 

The next thing will be to face your last year 
in the university. It will be a good year, I 
have no doubt, the best year of all your course. 
The time that has elapsed since you finished up 
your junior year has been filled with experi- 
ences which will make the senior year mean all 
the more to you. 



CAERY AN OIL CAN 

IT certainly has been a comfort to me to 
know that this year has been a little easier 
for you because of the slight help which I 
have been able to give you. I want always 
to stay in your life and to be to you a true 
friend, helping you over any hard place, giving 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 55 

you a little encouragement and strength when 
the burdens are heavy. 

Eeferring to your position, the more fully 
you can forget the unpleasant features of your 
environment and live without being self-con- 
scious regarding them, the better it will be for 
you. It seems to me that we may learn to cast 
all these things upon God, asking him to take 
them and make them work together for good. I 
have learned this lesson so completely that I 
chide myself if I ever find that I am worrying 
about anything in my affairs or in the affairs 
of others in which I am concerned. Of course, 
I must do my part always, my duty, the bit of 
God's will that comes to me moment by mo- 
ment ; but all the rest I must put into the hands 
of God, all the tangles, the perplexities, the un- 
pleasant things, the hurts which are given by 
others, knowing that he will take them and out 
of them will make something good. This is a 
wonderful comfort, and it strengthens one's 
mind immeasurably to know it. 

I am sure that you have learned the lesson 
yourself in a great measure, but perhaps in 
the matter to which you refer with regard to 
the superintendent, you may yet carry the les- 
son a little farther. Try it at least. Each 
morning lay all in God's hands. Do nothing 
which would seem to intensify the trouble. 
Keep near Christ and ask him to guide you 



56 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

at all times, and to bless you in all your as- 
sociations and fellowships. Then let him take 
care of the unpleasant things. 

There is a good illustration in one of Dr. 
Parkhurst's books. He tells of a workman who 
was in a trolley car one day. As the door was 
opened and shut it squeaked. The workman 
quietly got up and, taking a little can from his 
pocket, dropped some oil upon the offending 
spot, saying as he sat down, "I always carry 
an oil can in my pocket, for there are so many 
squeaky things in this world that a little oil 
will help." Dr. Parkhurst applies this to life, 
saying that love is an anti-irritant, that we can 
soften a great many attacks and prevent a great 
many unpleasant frictions if we always have 
love and will speak the gentle word, the soft 
word, the kindly word, at the right time. I used 
the illustration recently in my church in a ser- 
mon, and suggested to the people that they 
all carry oil cans, thus trying to make the world 
a little sweeter place to live in. 

May God bless you in all your life and make 
you very happy. 

WHAT DUTY COMES FIRST? 

LET me answer at once one of the points 
in your letter by saying that I have no 
question whatever about duty when it 
comes between one's daily occupation and what 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 57 

may seem to be religious tasks. Our first work 
is the work which comes to us in our ordinary 
vocation. Putting it directly, you find it neces- 
sary, as I suppose, to have your daily work 
in the telegraph office. You have to be faith- 
ful to this. You cannot abridge your hours 
nor lighten your work. So long as this is the 
way you earn your livelihood, it is plainly the 
duty which God gives you to do. This work 
is as much part of your Christian life as your 
prayer meetings or your Sunday services. You 
cannot be less than diligent. 

God wants us to do whatever we can besides 
the tasks of our daily vocation. So long as you 
had strength for it, and had the opportunity, it 
was your duty evidently to conduct a certain 
religious work — your King's Daughters and 
other societies and your church work. But if 
you are not strong enough to do both, there is 
not the slightest doubt as to which one you 
should give up. You cannot lay down your 
daily tasks, for it is by these that you earn your 
daily bread. The others are to be done only 
in case you have time and strength for the 
doing of them. 

I know some people might say this is a lit- 
tle irreligious. Some people interpret the Mas- 
ter's word, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, 
and his righteousness," as meaning that our 
religious duties are first. But this is a mis- 



58 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

taken way of interpreting the instruction. Only 
a few Sundays since I spoke on this subject in 
a sermon and said distinctly that there are 
times when one would commit a sin even to go 
to church. I instanced the case of a physician 
with patients who needed his attention at the 
hours of church service, and said that the doc- 
tor would commit a sin if he neglected his pa- 
tients that he might attend to communion serv- 
ice. Another instance I gave was that of a 
mother whose sick child needed her attention 
all day on Sunday, and I said that she would 
also commit a grievous sin against God if she 
left her child to attend a missionary meeting 
or any other kind of religious service. The 
"kingdom of God" which we are to seek first 
is the duty of the hour. 

I am not preaching to you — I am not your 
pastor ; but what I have said I am sure is true. 
I want to help you to see that you will com- 
mit no sin if you lay down certain work which 
you have been doing and which you have loved 
to do. If you cannot do it without injuring 
your health and unfitting you for your ordi- 
nary duties, it is not your duty at all, but some 
other one's. I was talking last Saturday with 
a young woman who is a teacher in the high 
school and has a class of boys in a Sunday 
school. She works very hard in teaching, for 
she is also taking a special course of instruc- 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 59 

■ ■ -■!■■■■!■ II ■■ ■ ■!■ - ■■!■■■ ■■ - ' II. F ..I- I M F , ! . 1 m,. „- ■■■■■■■ 

tion herself to fit her better for her work as 
teacher. This special course fills some of her 
afternoons and part of her Saturdays. The 
result is that she really is not strong enough 
to teach a class of rollicking boys on Sunday 
afternoons. She has tried it now for six months, 
and each Monday feels unfit for her school 
work after the strain and pressure of the Sun- 
day. I told her that very clearly her duty is 
to give up her Sunday-school class, much as 
she loves it. The other she cannot give up — it 
is the work God has given her to do, by which 
she earns support for herself and her mother. 
I am very glad to know about your life, and 
I want to assure you of the deepest interest. 
I never shall forget you. It must be ten or 
eleven years now since I was in California, but 
I remember vividly the time when you spoke to 
me at the Western Union Telegraph Office in 
the Palace Hotel. I remember well the talks 
I had with you then during the few days I was 
in San Francisco. I remember your visit to 
Philadelphia the following summer. I have 
kept you in my heart all these years among my 
closest and best friends. Your life has been 
full of good things. You have been a bene- 
diction to many young people. You have guided 
many steps into the paths of truth and right. 
I want to assure you of loving remembrance 
and the deepest interest in all that you are do- 



60 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

ing. I am always glad to have you write, but 
I must not burden you with requests to write 
frequently when you have so much to do. 



VICTOKIOUS LIVING 

NOW about your work and your chief. I 
know it is not easy for you. I have a 
number of young friends in editorial of- 
fices, and more than one of them has come to 
me with the same plaint that your letter brings. 
I wish that men were all more gentle. In my 
Thanksgiving sermon I told the people that 
brusqueness is not only discourtesy but is even 
a sin. We have no right to speak harshly, rude- 
ly, bitterly, to anyone, however faulty the per- 
son may be, or for failing in any duty. Begin- 
ning with the fathers, and going up through 
teachers and employers, and those placed above 
others in any way, one of the finest marks of 
manliness is gentleness to those under one's 
authority. But we cannot make every man just 
this sort of person. We have to accept life 
as it comes to us. 

Let me tell you what your part is. You have 
given yourself to Christ, and you want to learn 
the beautiful lessons of Christian life. If I 
put all my thought in a single sentence it is 
this — that you, as a Christian, want to live your 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 61 

life sweetly, beautifully, however other per- 
sons about you may live. Kudeness, rough- 
ness and unkindness may make it hard for you, 
but, however hard it is, you are going on in a 
loving way, keeping sweet, answering gently, 
not resenting anything, never returning un- 
kindness for unkindness, but the reverse — kind- 
ness for unkindness, gentleness for roughness. 
When you read the Sermon on the Mount, in 
the fifth, sixth and seventh chapters of Mat- 
thew, you will find the way your Master wants 
you to live. You say, "Yes, but it is terribly 
hard to do this." I know it is. It will not be 
possible always to keep back the tears when 
the sharp words fall upon your heart. Still, 
that is the lesson. You are not to grow cold 
and stoical, letting your feelings be hardened 
and your heart become bitter. I have seen fresh 
water springs bursting out on the beach of the 
sea, their waters as fresh as the waters that 
pour from the little fountains among the rocks 
on the hills. Presently the tide comes in, and 
for twelve hours the brackish waters pour over 
the little springs. But all the while, if we coulH 
get down to them, we should find the water just 
as sweet as it was when the tide was out. Then 
when at last the salt waters do withdraw, we 
find our springs just as sweet as they were be- 
fore, untainted by the bitterness of the sea. 
This is an illustration of what I want your 



62 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

heart to be. You may hear unkind criticism and 
unreasonable criticism, and you will sometimes 
want to cry, but do not grow bitter. Let no re- 
sentment start in your heart. Whatever others 
may do about you, however unkind they may be, 
you are to keep love in your heart all the while. 

This is the secret of happiness. We always 
feel ashamed of ourselves when we get angry 
and return to others what they have given to 
us of unkindness. Nothing is sweeter than the 
consciousness that we have endured wrong, in- 
jury, and have kept sweet through it all. 
"But," you say, "how can I?" The Christ- 
mas lesson will help you to learn how. Let 
Christ into your life as your truest and closest 
Friend. When you read your New Testament 
you will find that this is just the way he lived. 
He was wronged, suffered all kinds of injury, 
and at last was nailed to the cross, but you can- 
not find a single bitter word through it all. His 
heart was sweet with love. Even when they 
were putting him on the cross he prayed to the 
Father to forgive them, for they knew not what 
they were doing. Christ wants to enter your 
life as the sunshine enters the diamond, making 
it shine. 

Perhaps I have given you a hard lesson. I 
know it is ideal, and you cannot reach it in one 
day or one month or even fully in one year. 
But you can begin to learn the lesson. That is 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 63 

all I want to have you to do. When you read 
this letter kneel down by your bedside and give 
yourself to Christ. You know how much inter- 
est I have in you — how I love you and want to 
help you. But think of this as only a mere 
hint of the far greater love that Christ has 
foi you, and the deeper desire in his heart to 
make you strong and victorious. 

Have you thought that perhaps the reason 
why the Master sent you into your editorial 
office is just that you may learn to be a Chris- 
tian woman? I am learning more and more 
that that is what life here means. You are not 
there merely to write a page a day, and to do a 
certain amount of work in your office. But 
you are there in that office to grow into a Chris- 
tian girl and woman. That is just why Christ 
sent you there. If everything were sweet and 
easy, and every bit of work you did received 
commendation and compliment, you would be 
made happier, but I think you see you would 
not be enjoying the opportunity to grow in cer- 
tain phases at least of your life that you are 
now having. If you can live victoriously 
through all the experiences that you have to 
meet these days, you will be growing far more 
as a woman, as a Christian woman, than if you 
were having an easy time, with only gentleness 
and love about you. Think of this therefore. 
Henry Drummond said something like this — 



64 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

that the carpenter is not in his shop to make 
certain things in wood, but he is there to grow 
into strong, true, noble manhood. You are 
in your office not primarily to do a certain 
amount of editorial work as well as you can — 
you are there to become more and more Christ- 
like. Years hence, when you are an older 
woman and have cares and responsibilities, you 
will know that when you thought you were 
badly used, when you cried from the rebuffs 
and the brusqueness and the unkindly criti- 
cisms, you were really learning more and 
growing more than in any other period of your 
life. 

You understand that I want you to stay just 
where you are, to do the very best work you 
can, to learn the things you have not yet 
learned, and to overcome whatever defects or 
imperfections you may find in your education 
and training, and, whatever the experiences 
may be, to meet them quietly, bravely, cheer- 
fully, and even songfully — in a word, living vic- 
toriously, keeping sweet through all. 

Begin every morning with a special prayer 
that God will help you that day, first, to do your 
work well; second, to grow in patience and to 
bear whatever you have to bear without bit- 
terness ; and, above all, never to be discouraged, 
never to be defeated. Then at the close of 
each day you can come to the Master 's feet and 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 65 

tell him that you have done the best you could, 
have tried not to be impatient. 

HOW DOES GOD LEAD US? 

I AM interested very much in the questions 
you ask and in what you say also regard- 
ing the subject of divine leading. I think 
the better way would be for me sometime soon 
to preach a sermon which will practically an- 
swer your questions or, at least, try to answer 
them. I am very well aware of the difficulty 
which troubles you. It is not easy for us in 
every case to know what Christ's will is. It is 
easy to understand it in matters of morality, 
where a thing is either right or wrong, and 
where the divine teaching is plain. But in ref- 
erence to daily guidance in the circumstances 
and experiences of life, it is often difficult to 
know what the will of the Lord is. It will do 
me good to write upon the subject, and I think 
it will do more people than you good to have it 
talked about. 

Let me say in general that our own judg- 
ment, after careful thought and prayer, is 
often the only guidance God gives us. We are 
not by any means to think that anything is not 
a duty because it is difficult. Often God puts 
hindrances in our way just to make us brave 
and to teach us to be courageous and strong. 



66 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

Indeed, the purpose of temptations, on the 
divine side, is to be a sort of athletic exercise 
for us, to develop our powers and discipline 
us into strength. Very much of what people 
complacently think virtue and piety in them- 
selves and much they call "resignation to God's 
will" is only mental or spiritual indolence and 
is by no means commendable. We are to sub- 
mit to inconveniences and difficulties only when 
we cannot overcome them. You will notice in 
the prayer it is not "Thy will be endured' ' or 
' ' submitted to, ' ' but ' ' Thy will be done. ' ' It is 
the active doing of the will of God that is in- 
volved in this petition of the Lord's Prayer. 
A great many people get in the habit of think- 
ing of it always as implying something in the 
way of suffering or sacrifice or loss. This is 
entirely a wrong view of it. No doubt we have 
to submit sometimes to suffering and loss and 
deprivation, but these are the exceptions and 
not the rule. 

I am sure that you have been right in your 
interpretation of the will of God. We are al- 
ways to make the very most we can of our lives. 
With regard to the particular matter in your 
present condition — your subordination to a per- 
son who is not congenial and under whom you 
do not seem to be able to do your best work, I 
can only say that whatever is inevitable, un- 
avoidable, and cannot be changed for the pres- 



The Anxieties of the Toiler 67 

ent, I suppose we are to accept as God's will 
for us for the time. It certainly does not mean, 
however, that we are not to seek release from 
the uncongenial and unpleasant environment. 
Perhaps some way will open for it soon. In 
such cases we have to be careful that we do no 
harm ourselves in seeking to right the wrong 
under which we are suffering. You remember 
what Peter says about suffering wrongfully, 
referring to Christ's own example. "When he 
was reviled, he reviled not again. When he 
suffered he threatened not, but committed him- 
self to him that judgeth righteously. He also 
speaks of committing ourselves to God in well- 
doing, that we may put to silence the ignorance 
of foolish men. What I want to say is that 
while we have a right to do all we can to change 
disagreeable or uncongenial conditions in our 
life, we must be careful that we maintain as 
far as we can the Christlike spirit, keeping love 
in our hearts all the while and doing nothing 
which in any way would grieve the Master. 

But here I am, giving you my sermon now, 
before it is written. I shall take the matter up 
sometime before a great while. I am always 
glad to help you in any and every possible way. 



BEGINNING THE CHRISTIAN 
LIFE 



Beginning the Christian Life 71 



A PLEA TO ACCEPT CHRIST 

IT was a very great privilege to me to have 
the little talk with you last evening. I 
had supposed that you were both members 
of the Church. I am sure, however, that you 
both love Christ and trust him, and are trying 
to do what he would have you do. 

Church membership is not the only test or 
proof of a Christian life. The Christian life 
begins in the heart. God is your Father and 
you are his children. The moment you take a 
child's place with God, know that he loves you 
and begin to love him in return and trust him, 
and try to do his will, that moment you are a 
Christian. It is a very sweet privilege to be a 
child of God. We all are God's children, but 
many people go on year after year without rec- 
ognizing him as their Father. I have read of a 
young man who had gone away from home, into 
some foreign country, and was absent for years, 
never writing home, never hearing from home. 
At last he grew homesick and came across the 
sea and found his way back to the village where 
he had spent his childhood and where his father 
and mother used to live. But when he asked for 
them he found that they had moved away into 
the country — he could not exactly learn where. 
He was disappointed very much and left the 



72 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

town, walking aimlessly along the country road. 
It was near night and the darkness was coming 
down. At last he stood before the door of a 
cottage, heartsick, weary, exhausted, and sat 
down upon the doorstep. Growing faint, he 
fell back against the door, which flew open. It 
was his own father 's house, although he knew 
it not, and the father and mother were sitting 
inside, yearning for their long-lost boy. He did 
not know he was so near to them until, in his 
faintness, he found them bending over him. In 
the same way people often go on in their life, 
not knowing of God's love for them, until some 
experience of suffering or trouble reveals him 
to them. 

I should like to help you to believe in God's 
love for you, his own children. He loves you 
tenderly and deeply. He gave his Son to die 
for you. Christ loves you and wants you to 
give yourselves to him. I am not preaching to 
you. I am merely trying to help you to know 
the wonderful love there is in the heart of 
Christ for you, and to help you, if I can, to 
accept him and take your place as his friend. 
As I said to you last evening, it will be very 
sweet if you will together give yourselves to 
Christ. This does not mean that you should 
join the Church at present — it means only that 
you shall, in the sweetness and the quietness 
of your own room, in the tenderness of your 



Beginning the Christian Life 73 

love for each other, take Christ into your lives 
and give yourselves to him. 

Then it is a very sweet privilege to put into 
Christ's hands all your affairs. You can talk 
to him about your sickness and ask him to bless 
the physician and give him wisdom, and to use 
the medicines and means for recovery. You 
can trust him with everything for the future, 
knowing that his love will be about you all the 
time. 

You know how a child comes to a father or 
mother, opening his heart, telling his desires 
and longings and needs. You cannot see God 
and, therefore, it seems strange for you to think 
of talking to him. I suppose from what you 
say you have not been accustomed to pray. Let 
me say this to you, therefore, that if you kneel 
before God and talk to him out of your heart, 
telling him the very things you have told me, 
telling him you want to take your place as his 
child, that you want to have your sins forgiven, 
that you want to know his love for you, he 
will hear you, although you cannot see him, and 
will give you help. That is what prayer is — 
just talking to God out of your heart, telling 
him the things that you wish to tell him. 

All these years, as I understand, you have 
not known, or, at least, have not stopped to 
think that you are God's child and that God 
loves you. God does love you. It may be hard 



74 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

for you to understand that God, the great God 
who made all the worlds, loves you, just one 
being, amid the millions on the earth. But it is 
true. You know what the word "father" 
means. You know how you feel toward your 
children, how your heart yearns for them. Try 
to think of God, therefore, as loving you just as 
you have loved your children ever since they 
were born. It may seem mysterious and 
strange, but it is true. 

The Bible teaches us also that to show his 
love, to make it plain to people in this world, 
God came into the world and lived as Jesus 
Christ. In John 3:16 we read, "God so loved 
the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, 
that whosoever belie veth in him should not per- 
ish, but have everlasting life. ■ 9 The reason that 
God gave his Son was that he might make him- 
self known in a human life. If you will quietly 
read one of the Gospels to-morrow — Matthew 
or Mark or Luke or John — in which you will 
find the story of the life of Jesus Christ, you 
will learn how God feels toward you. He loves 
you, he wants to save you. Jesus Christ died 
on the cross that he might redeem the world. 
Now all those who accept Jesus Christ as their 
Saviour, as their Master and their Friend, are 
saved. 

All these years you have not known God. 
Think of a child growing up in a home twenty, 



Beginning the Christian Life 75 

thirty, forty, fifty years, and never recognizing 
the father or the mother, never showing them 
any love or honor, never making any requests 
of them, never doing anything for them. If 
yon have not been recognizing God as your 
Father, do you not want to do so at once ? That 
is what it is to become a Christian — it is simply 
to believe in God's love for you, to accept 
that love, to take a child's place toward 
God, and begin to love and honor and serve 
him. 

I want to help you in every possible way. 
What I have written to you here tells you of 
the first step. Go to God in prayer, begin to 
talk to him, tell him that you have sinned 
against him, that you have neglected him all 
these years, that you have not even thought 
of his love for you, that you have not loved him, 
that you have not lived for him. A good many 
years of your life are gone, but you cannot 
change this now. One thing, however, you can 
do — you can give God all that remains. 

Then if you wish to unite with the Church the 
way will be open for you. Christ wants us to 
confess him before our friends, not to hide our 
love, nor try to be secret friends, but to tell 
others. He says, " Every one therefore who 
shall confess me before men, him will I also 
confess before my Father who is in heaven. 
But whosoever shall deny me before men, him 



76 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

will I also deny before my Father who is in 
heaven. ' ' 



WHAT IT MEANS TO UNITE WITH THE 

CHUECH 

A FRIEND has written to me asking me to 
write yon some words about joining the 
Church. It is a very sweet pleasure 
indeed to do this. I suppose what you would 
like to know is something about the meaning of 
this act. Let me tell you as simply as I can 
what I think it means. 

The first thing is to accept Jesus Christ as 
your Saviour. You know that God loved the 
world and gave his Son to be our Saviour, and 
that Jesus Christ lived and did beautiful things, 
healing the sick and comforting the people. At 
last he was crucified by the people he had come 
to save. But God raised him up from the dead 
and now he lives in heaven as our Saviour and 
Friend. 

He sends out the gospel through the world, 
calling on everyone to accept him and follow 
him. He wants you to be his friend. You need 
him as your Saviour — you cannot be saved with- 
out him. To believe in him is to accept him as 
your Redeemer, to love him, to put your life 
into his hands, to take him as your Master and 



Beginning the Christian Life 77 

to follow him as faithfully as you can all your 
life. 

There are three names of Christ which tell 
us what he is. First, he is your Saviour. He 
died for you and you accept his death as the 
putting away of your sins. 

Second, he is your Master. This means that 
you are to obey him. He says, " If ye love me, 
keep my commandments. ' ' t \ Ye are my friends, 
if ye do whatsoever I command you." That 
is, if you are to be a Christian, while you trust 
him for everything, you are to do his will, to 
read your Bible, to know what he wants you to 
do, to listen to his voice and to try in all things 
to follow him. 

Third, he is your Friend. This means that 
he comes into your life into a closer place than 
mother or father or any friend ever can have. 
He loves you with a love tender and deep and 
strong and true and unchanging. He will never 
cease to love you. Even if you should get care- 
less, he will not give you up. Even if you 
should do wrong things, he will not cast you off. 
He will always cling to you and follow you. 
Then you are to love him. Your love is to be 
shown not so much in feeling as in the way you 
live, in doing what he wants you to do, in being 
what he wants you to be. 

Thus I have explained to you what it is to 
be a Christian. Now all those who follow 



78 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

Christ are asked to confess him before the 
world. He asked his first disciples to leave all 
and follow him. He does not ask you to leave 
your home and your friends, but he does ask 
you to leave whatever may be wrong in your 
life. Thus hereafter when you find anything 
is wrong, that you have any fault, you are to 
leave the wrong and give up the fault, and turn 
to Christ always. 

Confessing Christ before the world means, 
first, to unite with the Church. Then you come 
to the Lord's Table and receive the Communion. 
This means that you take Christ as your 
Saviour, his body broken for you, his blood shed 
for you, and that you give yourself to him, to 
be faithful to him in every way, as far as you 
possibly can, as long as you live. 

But confessing Christ means more than this. 
It is not enough to join the Church and to love 
Christ and be true to him when we are among 
Christians or in church service. We are to be 
faithful to Christ all the week, out among our 
friends, in our school life, in our play and in 
everything and always. That is, you are never 
to do anything, wherever you go, that would 
disown Christ. 

In joining the Church you will also promise 
to do what you can to bring other persons to 
him. This you can do, first, by praying for 
them, then by trying to get them to attend the 



Beginning the Christian Life 79 

services with you, and sometimes you may say 
a word which may lead some friend or some 
neighbor to be a Christian. 

It means also that always you will be loving 
and kind. Love is the great lesson of all Chris- 
tian life. Not only are we to love Christ but 
we are to love each other. This means that at 
home you will learn to be gentle, patient, 
thoughtful, kind and obliging. It means that 
you will also be kind and helpful to every per- 
son, always watching for opportunities of doing 
good, always reaching out your hand to help 
those who need help. 

Do not be afraid to unite with the Church. 
I am sure that you love Christ, that you trust 
him as your Saviour, and that you want to fol- 
low him. He will not leave you alone. As long 
as you are faithful and try to do your duty, 
he will not fail you, but will bless you in every 
way you need. As you pray day by day for 
strength he will give it to you. Take your 
place in the Church with quiet confidence, thank- 
ing God for his goodness, rejoicing that you 
can be a Christian, and accepting Christ in all 
his love and grace as your dearest, truest, 
strongest and best Friend. 

Then, when you have joined the Church, re- 
member that there is no better help in the Chris- 
tian life than to be active, not only in common 
duties, but in special work for Christ. 



80 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 



WHICH CHUECH SHALL I JOIN? 

REFEBBING to the matter of churches, 
concerning which you write, I scarcely 
know how to advise you, not knowing 
anything about the ministers or churches of 
your home city. Very frankly, there are not 
enough ministers who take personal interest in 
their people. They preach well and organize 
well, but many of them are lacking in the ele- 
ment of personal helpfulness. You cannot go 
to them and sit down beside them to unburden 
your heart, to ask them questions, and to get 
help in this way. The other day a young woman 
was saying to me that she went once to a Phila- 
delphia pastor, one of the best preachers in the 
city, with some little questions which had arisen 
in her mind. He thought that she was hereti- 
cal and began at once to give her a severe lec- 
ture on the subject of orthodoxy. The result 
was that he shut her heart up tight, and for two 
years she carried the burden, with no light and 
no help. Indeed, she was only saved from grow- 
ing utterly indifferent and even bitter in her 
heart when she came to me and was encour- 
aged to state her difficulties. Instead of listen- 
ing to her recital with blame and criticism, I 
happened to understand her and tried to help 
her, The result is now, after a year and a half 



Beginning the Christian Life 81 

of life in our church, she is one of the happiest 
women I know, her soul full of sunshine and 
her heart full of God's peace. I mention this 
not to commend my own pastoral way, but sim- 
ply to say that many pastors fail to understand 
how to help people in personal ways. Let me 
ask you therefore to bring me your questions, 
if you will, and let me help you with them. 

What you want is to get into close and per- 
fect relation with Christ himself. He is a per- 
sonal Friend. It is not the church that helps 
you. Whether you join a Presbyterian church 
or a Methodist church or a Eoman Catholic 
church, you will find that the vital thing, after 
all, is your personal relation with Christ. Let 
me say to you for myself that after all my years 
of teaching and helping others, and all my ex- 
periences as a Christian, my whole creed has 
been brought down into one little sentence — 
"Christ and I are friends." No friend in all 
the world is so near to me as he is. I trust him, 
I love him, I take everything to him, I lay every 
burden upon him. I go to him for wisdom, for 
help, for the love I need in my own heart. He 
is everything to me as Friend. Then for my- 
self my whole duty is summed up in being a 
friend of Christ's. He says, "Ye are my 
friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." 
This includes all duty. 

In telling you this I want to help you to un- 



82 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

derstand that the essential thing in a religious 
life is knowing Christ, trusting him, loving him, 
following him, having Christ for your Friend 
and being his friend. Then as to the church in 
which you will have your spiritual home, every- 
thing depends upon your convenience and op- 
portunity. You want a place where you will 
feel at home, where the people will be congenial, 
where you can have some personal friendships. 
If you like some one church, if the preaching 
helps you, and if the services are interesting, 
why should you not make your home there for 
the present at least? Then if, in the future, 
some other church should prove to be more a 
home to you, you can readily transfer your 
membership at will. 



NO WITHDRAWING FROM THE WORLD 

IT is my belief that Christ wants us to take 
our place in life in the most natural way, 
and to do our work right among people, 
in our natural relations, or in the particular 
lines into which he may call us. You remember 
that Jesus, in his last prayer with his disciples, 
recorded in the seventeenth chapter of John, 
did not ask to have his disciples taken out of 
the world, away from the world's dangers, evils 
and experiences, but that they might stay in the 



Beginning the Christian Life 83 

world and be kept from its evil. Personally I 
have no sympathy with the monastic life, be- 
cause it seems to me that it violates that par- 
ticular thought of the Master for his followers 
and friends. To put it more simply, you are a 
bright, happy girl, you love people, and people 
love you. You have already had enough ex- 
periences to show that you may have a tremen- 
dous influence over people. Your personality 
is strong. People take to you and like you, and 
are ready to follow you and let the influence 
of your life into their inner lives. What you 
have learned of life already in the past is suffi- 
cient proof to you of this. You do not know 
how much good you can do in the world by just 
letting your light shine on other people 's lives, 
allowing your life to go out to those who need 
sympathy, kindness, protection, and whatsoever 
is good and beautiful. 

God holds us responsible for the very best 
that we can do in helping on the kingdom of 
Christ, that is, in making others better, in help- 
ing others over hard ways. You remember that 
Christ himself lived this kind of life. John 
the Baptist was an ascetic, and lived in the wil- 
derness away from people, and then came out 
and spoke his words which touched people's 
hearts and transformed their lives. But when 
Jesus came he lived differently. He never hid 
himself away from people. He never became a 



84 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

recluse. He went everywhere, even to the 
homes of Pharisees who disliked him, and of 
publicans and sinners, who were branded as 
outcasts. He refused no opportunities of being 
helpful in personal ways. To him the world 
was simply a field in which he might do good. 
In every person he met he saw some one whom 
he longed to help in some way, and to whom 
he gave out the best he had of love, sympathy, 
cheer, comfort. When people followed him into 
his seclusion, even when he was seeking to be 
alone with God, he never became impatient. 
The man who wanted to see him was the man 
he wanted to see. The person who was hungry 
or was weary, sad, ignorant, unhelped, sinful, 
was just the person he wanted to touch and 
help and lift up. 

You get my thought. Christ's idea of a beau- 
tiful life is one spent as he spent his, among 
people, among needy people, among sad and 
lost people, helping them upward. This is the 
life to which I would like to see you devote 
yourself. If you withdraw from the world and 
take up a monastic life you will have opportuni- 
ties in certain ways, of doing good, but a large 
part of your time will be spent in personal de- 
votions, seeking the purifying of your own life. 
This is all very beautiful, but it does not seem 
to me to fulfill the Master's purpose for you. 
There are some people who cannot help others 



Beginning the Christian Life 85 

in personal ways. Because of shyness or other 
physical conditions they cannot be of great use 
to people. It may be that for these the quiet, 
secluded life is best. But you are not a girl of 
this kind. You have splendid abilities for per- 
sonal helpfulness. I should love to see you put 
your whole life into the work of Christ among 
girls. 

LEARNING TO TRUST 

IT seems to me that what you want is a sim- 
pler and more childlike faith. You say 
that you cannot live up to the things you 
read in the Bible and in good books. I know of 
no one who can do so. Heaven always keeps 
above us. The Bible sets before us very lofty 
ideals, so lofty that we cannot reach them in a 
day or a month or in twenty-five years. So 
long as you may live, and if you spend every 
year in striving toward the best things, you 
will still find that you have not attained. Paul 
was a great deal better Christian than most 
of us, and he said, when he was quite an old 
man, that he was not yet perfect, but was still 
striving after the things which he wished to 
have. We never measure up to our ideals. We 
never are so good any day as we intend to be 
in the morning when we set out. We certainly 
fall very far below God's requirements. If we 



86 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

did not, there would be no special need of a 
Saviour. Jesus Christ came into the world to 
redeem us and save us, because we cannot 
save ourselves, because we cannot live up to 
the requirements of a divine law. Eemember 
this, that all perfection is relative. A piano 
pupil may get the lesson perfectly the second 
day after she has begun. That is, she may do 
the little piece of work her teacher gave her as 
well as anyone could do it, yet you would not 
call the child a perfect piano player. She prob- 
ably has ten years before her yet of self-disci- 
pline and training of the hardest kind before 
she reaches up to a high enough attainment to 
be called a good player. It is so in Christian 
life. God may approve us the second day of 
our efforts to follow Christ and say that we 
have done beautifully. But we are only begin- 
ning, as we have years and years of growth 
before us. But at any point in all this time 
we must be judged by the measure of our prog- 
ress. You find now very much yet to learn and 
tell me that you are not able to live up to the 
things you find in good books. But remember, 
you have been only a few years following 
Christ. You must not judge yourself, there- 
fore, too severely. Christ does not. He is very 
patient with our slow progress. Always do 
your best every day, and you will do better still 
to-morrow. 



Beginning the Christian Life 87 

What I want to get you to cultivate is a quiet 
trust, the peace of God in your heart, and joy 
and gladness in all your experiences. You must 
not fret, you must not look too much inward 
at your own spiritual condition, or backward 
at the slow progress you have been making in 
your spiritual life. Make every day as beauti- 
ful as you can, pure and true and holy, with 
obedience and love. Then next day can be made 
a little better than this one, and so on through 
every day unto the end. You will still find on 
the last evening of your life that you have very 
much to learn, that really you have just begun 
to be a Christian. I think it was Eubinstein, 
the great musician, who said at the close of a 
long life, devoted to intense musical work, "I 
have just begun to know music." It is so in 
Christian life. If you live to be eighty years 
old, growing every day better and better, you 
can say then no more than that you have begun, 
just begun, to know Christ and to know how to 
live a Christian life. 

All this world's life is just preparation for 
the larger, fuller, higher life waiting for us on 
the other side. Think of this, and while you 
devote yourself very earnestly to the things 
which you are called to do, and to the cultiva- 
tion of your spiritual life, remember that you 
will never get to the end until you leave this 



88 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

world and enter upon the more perfect life in 
heaven. 

LETTING THE FACE TALK 

YOU have had a busy year, I am sure. 
But as you come toward the end of it 
I think you can look back upon it with 
a large measure of gratitude in your heart. 
Indeed, you speak of this in your letter in con- 
nection with the Thanksgiving time. Gratitude 
is not only a duty, but it gives great pleasure 
to the heart that cherishes it. All that the year 
has brought you is good. That is to say, we 
can put into the hands of God all the experi- 
ences of our year, even the things which have 
seemed hard and hurtful, knowing that there 
is a Hand which will so shape results as to bring 
out of all the tangles of the year a beautiful 
web. Even our faults, our follies and our sins 
we may put into the same Hand if we are truly 
penitent, and leave them there, knowing that 
from these, too, some blessing will come to us. 
It is wonderful how good God is to us and how 
he takes whatever we give him, even the poor- 
est fragments of our obediences, even our mis- 
takes and our sins, and out of them brings 
something helpful and full of good for us. 

With regard to what you say about the article 
by Dr. Banks — that we should let our hearts 



Beginning the Christian Life 89 

out to people — no doubt his advice is good. 
There is a great lack of expression of love, es- 
pecially in homes. I have not seen the article 
to which you refer, but I suppose that Dr. 
Banks has reference to this particular phase 
of the subject — the necessity not only for love 
but for the utterance of love, for the words 
which tell of that love. There certainly is a 
great need in many homes and in many friend- 
ships of such expressions. Only last evening 
in my sermon I spoke of it. I was preaching 
about Mary and Martha and Jesus. It is said 
that Mary anointed Jesus aforehand for his 
burial. I spoke of the "aforehand" kindness 
■ — not waiting until he was dead. A great many 
people, you know, show very little love along 
the way, even to their best friends ; then when 
the friends are dead they send immense bou- 
quets and flower pieces of extravagant dimen- 
sions and cost. I have always said that I would 
prefer a few flowers now and then along the 
dusty way, when my heart was weary and I 
needed renewal of strength, rather than the re- 
pression of love all the years and then an out- 
burst when it will amount to nothing for me. I 
appreciate what you say, however, about the 
particular phase of the subject which concerns 
yourself. You can let your love out, however 
intense it may be, when you are sure of your 
friends. 



90 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

You ask, ''Why do people, even strangers, 
happen on one's sore point always ?" I cannot 
answer this question. The other evening a 
young girl asked me, "Do you believe in luck?" 
She went on to tell me how for her sister every- 
thing went right and happily, while for her 
everything went wrong, that she had only dis- 
appointment after disappointment. I tried to 
show the child that it was not luck, that there 
must be some reason for what seemed to her 
partiality, even if she cannot find it. I tried to 
explain to her how different people need differ- 
ent discipline. This may be one reason. Some- 
times the reason lies in oneself. We find in 
the world what we are prepared to find. A per- 
son with a happy heart always finds happiness. 
One with a sad, gloomy heart always finds sad- 
ness and gloom. 

By the way, have you ever thought of our 
responsibility for the looks on our faces — 
whether they are happy or the reverse? Mar- 
garet Fuller tells of her own experiences as a 
child, when she used to sit in church and watch 
the faces of the worshipers, trying to find in 
those faces some interpretation or expression 
of the things which these people were saying 
in their hymns and prayers and professed to 
believe. She said that she could not find these 
ideals there. She speaks then of the hurt to 
her own life from people's faces, their severe 



Beginning the Christian Life 91 

looks, their lack of gladness and joy. Some 
people seem altogether to forget that they are 
responsible for being glad-hearted and joyous, 
even if they have trouble. The other day a 
mother who had passed through a very great 
sorrow said to me that she tried always to keep 
her face happy and bright at home, that she 
might not cast upon her children's lives any 
shadow of the grief which had so emptied her 
own life. She was right, but the same rule ap- 
plies to other people besides one's children. 

The other day a gentleman, when introduced 
to a lady, said, "I owe you a great debt, a debt 
far larger than ever I can pay. ' ' The lady could 
not understand his meaning, and he explained 
to her that one day he was going down town 
in a trolley car when he was greatly depressed. 
Everything had seemed to go wrong, and he 
was in a very black mood. Opposite him on the 
car this lady sat, and as he looked at her face 
he saw there something which told of courage, 
peace, serenity and quiet confidence, and that 
face drove away his gloom and all the shadows 
and changed his black mood into one of trust 
and peace. He took the earliest opportunity 
to thank his benefactor for what she had done 
for him that day. 

This lady was entirely unconscious of the 
kindness she was doing. It was no part of her 
plan to make the stranger opposite to her hap- 



92 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

pier that day. But she had a face which told 
of victory, the peace of God, the joy of Christ, 
of a sweet, self -controlled life. So wherever she 
went her influence was for good and blessing. 

All of us should cultivate the same sort of 
face. At least, we should think of our respon- 
sibility for our looks and for the influence we 
exert upon people by the kind of face we show 
them. 

PEESONALITY FOR CHRIST 

IT has been a pleasure all these years to get 
letters from you, but since you paid the 
little visit to my office and I saw you face 
to face and had a few minutes' talk with you, 
you are much more of a reality and less of a 
mere ideality than you were formerly. I can 
see your kindly face looking out from the pages 
on which you write, and can hear your voice as 
I read the words over. God has given you much 
in your personality. What a wonderful gift 
personality is ! Those to whom God has given 
the power of helping others merely by their 
presence, of being a benediction, an encourage- 
ment, a comfort to them, even without any 
words, are especially gifted. I know people who 
are not brilliant, who never do any great things, 
but whose lives are so true, so consistent, so 
Christlike, that wherever they go they carry in 



Beginning the Christian Life 93 

their very presence a bit of heavenly sunshine. 
Concerning one of these a friend said a few 
years since, standing by the coffin of the young 
woman who had been called home, "Wherever 
she went, flowers grew in her pathway, and the 
air was always sweeter when she entered the 
room." This is true of certain lives, even 
apart from what they do. Of course, usually, 
it is the life that makes the face and that gives 
to the presence its strange power. At least, 
those who are not beautiful in life and charac- 
ter cannot long retain the normal benediction 
that God put into their faces when he made 
them. May God give you grace always to be a 
blessing wherever you go, not only in the 
things you do and the things you say, but still 
more in yourself in the sweet and quiet influ- 
ence of your life. 

I am glad to read what you say about your 
home and your work. I trust that this year will 
bring you all the work that you can do well, 
without overcrowding you. You have a special 
gift for writing missionary articles, in particu- 
lar phases of Sunday-school work, and on prac- 
tical subjects which are always fitting. You 
have given your pen to Christ — that is the best 
part of it all — and whenever you choose to 
write you write for him, or, rather, he writes 
through you. I trust that you will have as much 
as you can do during the year, and that you 



94 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

will be strong and well for whatever comes to 
you. You must enjoy your missionary meet- 
ings, going about from place to place and speak- 
ing to earnest people. I trust that more and 
more this field will widen for you, giving you 
new opportunities of speaking for Christ and 
advocating missionary work. 

It must have been very pleasant to meet the 
old friend and have her recall so much of your 
babyhood and infancy. These links with the 
past are always very tender. I understand 
what you say about the healing of your sor- 
rows. God never blames you for your love or 
for the tenderness of your feelings when you 
recall the memory of those who are gone. My 
thought, however, is that we should accept 
God's comfort by sweet acquiescence in his will, 
in the faith that whatever he permits in our 
life is right. Then I think, also, that if we 
allow our faith to make more real to us the 
continued existence of our loved ones in the 
other life, with all their faculties, their affec- 
tions, their beauties of character, this ought 
to be a great comfort to us, helping us not only 
to acquiesce, but to rejoice. For example, my 
mother has been very much more real to me 
during the long years since she went away than 
she was during the same number of years be- 
fore she left this world. I saw her then but 
rarely — not more than once a year. Then she 



Beginning the Christian Life 95 

was a sufferer most of the time and every 
thought I had of her was painful because it 
brought her before me in illness or feebleness. 
Now, however, I think of her as away beyond 
all sickness, all suffering, all pain, having lost 
nothing that was beautiful in her life, a trans- 
figured woman, in the presence of Christ, en- 
gaged in his service in another world. This is 
a wonderful comfort to me. It not only makes 
her existence even more real than it was when 
she was living in Ohio, but it makes the thought 
of her very much sweeter and more joyous. 

I am sure that as you go on and realize more 
and more of your mother's life as it is now with 
Christ in the heavenly kingdom your comfort 
will become deeper and your peace will become 
deeper and sweeter. 



WISE AND UNWISE TESTIMONY FOR 

CHRIST 

I KNOW that the work which you are doing, 
especially in the class of colleges of which 
you speak, is hard and discouraging. The 
pressure of work is so great that the girls are 
quite apt to decide that they have no time for 
religious or devotional meetings of any kind, 
scarcely even time to read the Bible and pray. 
This is unfortunate. Indeed, it is not true that 



96 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

they are so driven. Luther used to say, "I 
have so much to do that I cannot get along 
with less than three hours a day praying.' ' The 
more he had to do, the more he needed to pray, 
for with him, to pray was to work. However, 
this is not the mood in which most college girls 
approach the subject. They look at it from a 
different point of view, and too often it is 
quite easy for them to set it entirely aside. 

I want to talk to you about a matter which 
I am quite sure you have noticed yourself in 
these colleges. I am not certain that there is 
any way to remedy it, but, at the same time, it 
is important that workers like yourself should 
have a full conception of it and should give it 
careful consideration. It so happens that many 
of the girls in these colleges who seem to repre- 
sent the best Christian elements are not them- 
selves such girls as can influence others. 
Often they are not the best in their standing in 
the class. Then, frankly, they do not seem to 
have a fortunate way of expressing their Chris- 
tian life. It partakes too much of the goody- 
goody style. It is not strong, vigorous, nor 
very wholesome Christianity. Sometimes they 
are rather morbid girls. Then, in their contact 
with the others, especially in their efforts to do 
them good, they lack tact. The same thing is 
observable everywhere. Some of the most ear- 
nest Christians in churches are often those 



Beginning the Christian Life 97 

whose influence over others is not very strong. 

I have thought that possibly you might be 
able to do something in this direction by talking 
freely to the Christians in the different colleges 
on the necessity of wisdom in the expression of 
their Christian life and in their efforts to do 
others good. Religion ought to be the most 
natural thing in the world. It should always be 
approached in a natural way, so as not to give 
to the efforts of good people the semblance of 
impertinence. Some years ago I was in Cali- 
fornia and strolled into the Y. M. C. A. rooms 
one day. A young man, seeing me there as a 
stranger, approached me and began to "talk 
religion ' ' to me. I was quite anxious to find out 
his method, and was noncommittal at first in 
my answers and developed in him some of the 
very worst phases of that professional talk 
which is too common, even among good people. 
It is nothing more than miserable cant, and, if 
I had not been a Christian man, with a large 
amount of patience gathered for the occasion, I 
should certainly have felt that he was exceed- 
ingly impertinent, talking to me in a way in 
which he had no right to talk and saying things 
of which he had the smallest possible knowledge 
himself. 

I think you will appreciate my motive in writ- 
ing of this to you, as I have done, so frankly. 
I have been trying, as far as I possibly could, 



98 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

to help the Christian students, as I have met 
them, from time to time, to learn the lesson that 
they must be simple, sincere and natural, not 
only in their Christian life, but especially in 
their conversations on religious subjects. As 
a rule, Christian students had better not do 
very much talking about religion to those who 
are not Christians. The better way for them 
is to live out their religion in their contact with 
these girls, to pray much for them and to learn 
to love them deeply and truly, but not to speak 
to them personally until the time comes for it. 
I have known girls who, by their beautiful life, 
have won the confidence and the affection of 
those not Christians and have also won their 
respect for religion. The time has come, by 
and by, when they could speak to them and 
when every word they spoke was golden, be- 
cause of the place they had won in the hearts 
of these girls by their sweet, beautiful and sin- 
cere Christian life and character. 



DOUBTS AND DOUBTERS 



Doubts and Doubters 101 



TO ONE WHOSE RELIGIOUS BELIEF 
HAS BEEN UNSETTLED 

WHEN God takes out of our life any 
friend who was close and whom we 
expected to come closer still, we may 
always say that God knows best. It is not wise 
to attempt to explain God's reason for taking 
our friends out of our life. We would make 
very foolish mistakes if we were to try to do 
this. But we are sure, at least, that whatever 
God does send to us, or allow to come into our 
life, he will use for blessing to us, if we creep 
close to him and keep close to him all the while. 
It seemed to you that this man was necessary 
to your happiness. But you will learn that God 
can make you happy without him, since, evi- 
dently, it was not part of God's plan that you 
should go on through life together. I am glad 
to know that nothing occurred to make you 
regret your friendship with him, and that, in 
looking back over it, the memory is sweet and 
sacred. 

I am sorry that you have become unsettled in 
your religious belief through the things that 
friends have been saying to you. I would not 
want to enter into any discussion with your 
good friend who has spoken to you so skepti- 



102 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

cally concerning Christian faith. If he denies 
that the Bible is the Word of God, sweeping it 
all away with one brush of his hand, of course 
then he may say that no one knows about the 
future and the other life. I suppose he calls 
himself an agnostic. But you must not let such 
impressions as these hurt your own Christian 
faith. I need not enter into any argument to 
prove to you that the Bible is the Word of God, 
but let me simply urge you to keep fast hold 
of your childhood's faith. Jesus Christ came 
from God, and he revealed to us what God is 
like, what life's future is. More than that, he 
went down into the grave and then came again 
from the grave, the only person who has con- 
quered death during all the world's history. 
He went there as our Master, our Eedeemer, 
our Saviour. The teachings of Christ are, there- 
fore, full of revelations about the character of 
God and also contain many revealings about the 
life that lies beyond. If you read the New Tes- 
tament reverently, you cannot but believe these 
things, for the book is full of self-evidence. 
There are a few agnostics in the world, per- 
haps some of them sincere in their belief. There 
are a few skeptics who doubt. But you know 
that the great mass of people to whom the Word 
of God has come, who have received it into their 
hearts with docile spirit, and really desire to 
know the truth, have found the teachings of the 



Doubts and Doubters 103 

Bible incontrovertibly true, self-evidently true. 
If there were no "evidences of Christianity' ' to 
which we might turn, I think that I may say to 
you that my own knowledge of Christ as a per- 
sonal Friend and Saviour and Helper and Guide 
for my life is sufficient evidence to make me 
believe and know that I am immortal, that 
Christ is the Son of God, that when I leave this 
world I will pass out of imperfection and fail- 
ure and stumbling into fuller light, deeper joy 
and sweeter peace. You will find the greatest 
comfort in simply getting back into the heart of 
Christ, putting away all your questions and all 
your fears, believing Christ to be your Saviour, 
your Friend, your Master, and then following 
him implicitly, with trust and joy and peace. 

You tell me of what has been said to you — 
that the death of the little child was a punish- 
ment to you for having loved him so much and 
that because you were rebellious God took him 
away. I am sure she would not have said that 
but for the great sorrow in her heart. We must 
have all manner of patience with those who 
are passing through great sorrows. One with 
a broken heart will say things which would not 
be said at another time. Put out of your mind 
forever all thought that God ever takes away 
a child to punish another person. The child's 
life was just what God meant it to be, having 
filled out the little plan which God had for it in 



104 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

his thought. He took it home because home was 
better for it. It is safer now inside the gates 
with Christ than it ever could have been in the 
world outside. 

Try to get away from all these feelings and 
fears and uncanny impressions which seem to 
be possessing your mind. The simpler your 
faith the better it will be. Let Christ into your 
heart, let him be your Teacher and your Friend 
and guide you ever in the way in which he 
would have you to walk. 



TO ONE WHO IS DEPRESSED 

I AM glad that you told me the story of your 
life, for it enables me to think of you more 
intelligently and to help you more truly. 
Let me assure you of the sincerest sympathy 
with you in the experiences which have seemed 
to be hard. Yet I would not say a word to make 
your heart less strong for the meeting of these 
experiences. Sometimes human sympathy does 
harm rather than good — I mean that the sym- 
pathy is not of the kind which makes people 
brave and strong. I want to be to you a friend 
who will not merely sympathize with you in the 
things that are painful and hard, but also be a 
strength to you, an inspiration, an inciter to 
energy and courage. A true life is not one 



Doubts and Doubters 105 

that is overmastered by discouragements, but 
one that meets every hard thing with determina- 
tion to overcome it. If we are Christians we 
should always live victoriously, not only over 
the sins which beset us and assail us, but also 
over the trials which make it harder for us to 
live. 

The goodness of God never fails. Being a 
Christian, you can commit your whole life to 
Christ with implicit confidence, assured of his* 
loving interest and help. We know that "all 
things work together for good to them that love 
God. ' ' If you simply love God and trust your- 
self in his hands, all things, the hard things as 
well as the easy, the painful things as well as 
the pleasant, the losses as well as the gains — 
all will work together for your good. So I want 
to help you to be brave and strong for the bat- 
tle before you. 

I fear you have given way somewhat to the 
feeling of depression. Perhaps it could hardly 
have been otherwise with you, for you have had 
many things to depress you. But I want to 
come into your life as an uplifter, and I want 
to help you turn your face away from the 
shadows, from the gloom, from the sorrows and 
losses, and to face the light, the joy, the blessing 
and the good. Let nothing whatever dishearten 
you. Our best friend is not the one who pam- 
pers us and pets us and makes us conscious of 



106 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

the sadness of our life, but the friend who helps 
us to become victor over all these things. 

I think I shall not attempt to answer your 
questions about the one or two texts which are 
troubling you. Evidently there is a little un- 
wholesomeness in your mind at present con- 
cerning spiritual things. It is never right for 
us to allow one or two hard words or phrases 
in the Bible to cause us anxiety. Phrases of 
this kind do not fairly represent the teaching 
of the Bible. This we find in such phrases as 
John 3 :16, and countless other passages, where 
the love of God is represented in such a clear 
and strong way that it is impossible for us to 
fail to understand it. Let me say to you, there- 
fore, once for all, that it is the tempter who is 
trying to hurt your life by keeping before your 
mind the text about blasphemy against the Holy 
Spirit and the sin that cannot be forgiven. 
This is a way the tempter has. I have known 
a great many people who were kept in misery 
for a long time through one or two of those 
sayings in the Scriptures which are dark and 
incomprehensible and seem somehow to have 
terror in them. The whole Bible teaches with- 
out any question that everyone who comes to 
Christ is welcomed by him, is received with open 
arms and tender love. There is really no un- 
pardonable sin save the sin of utter and final 
rejection of Christ. Please fix this truth in 



Doubts and Doubters 107 

your mind and turn away from these painful 
thoughts which have been perplexing you. 

What you say about having in your mind 
these unhappy thoughts shows to me that you 
are not at present altogether well physically. 
Only a few weeks since a young woman came 
to me with almost precisely the same sort of 
experience. I try to be a physician for the 
whole life, for I know that very often some little 
wrong in the body casts a shadow over the mind 
and spirit. I saw at once that the young woman 
was in unhealthy mood. I sent her to a wise 
and kindly physician. The physician made a 
little examination and discovered the secret of 
the trouble, and, after a few weeks' treatment, 
the young girl is out in the bright sunshine 
again. The whole trouble was physical. I want 
to say to you, therefore, my child, that there is 
something a little bit wrong with you some- 
where in your physical condition, something 
which makes you sensitive, which makes your 
brain a little feverish. Either you want a quiet 
rest or medical treatment in a mild way. One 
who is perfectly well is not troubled by such 
unwholesome feelings and fears as you have. 

Pardon me for speaking to you about this, 
but I want to be to you the truest and best 
friend possible, a physician indeed, who would 
help you into the brightest and clearest and 
happiest life. Let God's sunshine flow about 



108 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

your soul. Do not allow little specks to darken 
all the brightness of the sky. Do not allow a 
little thorn or brier here and there to make you 
oblivious of the great garden of roses which 
spreads before you. You are God's child, and 
you must rest yourself in your Father's hands, 
with implicit confidence. 

May God's richest and best blessing be upon 
your life. Put away all the fears and let the 
love prevail. 



THE SIMPLICITY OF FAITH 

YOUR letter touches my heart very deeply. 
It is not often that I have known such 
an experience as yours. Indeed, no two 
experiences ever are identical. But it is not 
often that one accepts the truth about Christ 
as you have done, in such simplicity, with such 
avidity, allowing it to enter into your heart and 
possess your life. That is precisely the ideal 
for Christian faith. Christ complained once to 
his people that his words did not have free 
course in them. He meant that they did not 
let his words into their lives, were not inter- 
ested by them, did not follow them. The only 
test of faith is obedience. A great many peo- 
ple read the New Testament and enjoy it in a 
certain way, and yet it has but very little effect 



Doubts and Doubters 109 

upon them. Last New Year's Day a young man 
said to his pastor: 

"I have gone through the Bible five times the 
past year." 

The pastor quietly asked him : 

"How often has the Bible gone through you 
during the year?" 

That is the test. When I hear people talk- 
ing about reading the Scriptures, I want to 
know what effect the Scriptures have had upon 
them. In your case, you have accepted the 
teachings of Christ in their literalness, and 
have followed them implicitly. 

You probably have read of Lady Aberdeen 
and how she came to accept Christ. She was 
trying to settle the question of Christ's per- 
sonality and place in life intellectually, but 
could not do it satisfactorily. She could not 
yield her heart to Christ because she could 
not understand everything. She wanted to 
know before she would believe and follow. Sit- 
ting one day in her garden, pondering the great 
questions, she seemed to hear a voice, as if 
from heaven, saying to her, "Act as if I were, 
and you will learn that I am." The words 
seemed a real message from the Master to 
her, and she at once said, "I will." She be- 
gan to act as if the things that the Scriptures 
said were literally true, and at every point 
she found that they were true. Every promise 



no Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

that she tested and proved was fulfilled to her. 

I do not know that you had any such strug- 
gle in your own experience before you accepted 
Christ, but it is just in this way that you have 
been doing. No doubt you have your questions. 
There are difficulties which you cannot solve. 
There are mysteries in the gospel which you 
cannot understand. But none of these things 
are troubling you or holding you back — you 
are acting as if the things that Christ says 
about himself are literally true, and you are 
rinding them true at every point. It has been 
a great comfort to me to know of your trust 
and following of Christ, and to be able to help 
you even a little. 

There came into the church of which I am 
pastor, a young woman, a teacher in a girls' 
high school, who had almost lost her faith. 
She had become entangled in all manner of 
questions — the questions which are being 
raised by critics about the person of Christ 
and his life and work. I never saw a sadder 
person than she was. I remember very well 
my first talk with her, when she came to tell 
me of her doubts and questions. I asked her 
to lay all these things aside, and let them wait 
until she had more light for them, meanwhile 
accepting Christ just as he offered himself to 
her in the Gospels. I asked her to read the 
Four Gospels over carefully with this one ques- 



Doubts and Doubters in 

tion in mind: "What does Jesus say that he 
is and that he wants me to do?" She did it 
honestly and sincerely, and in a very short 
time the change in her face became apparent. 
She was laying aside her doubts and questions 
and difficulties, and was letting Christ into her 
life in just the way he wanted to come, with 
love and grace and help and guidance. Easter 
Sunday evening I preached on the way Christ 
dealt with the doubts of Thomas, and then 
Thomas' confession, "My Lord and my God." 
The next morning I received a letter from her, 
telling me that she was a living illustration of 
what I had been trying to say to the people — 
that the simple acceptance of Christ without 
question or doubt was the sure way to peace 
and gladness, to light and perfect liberty. 

Excuse all this long letter about matters that 
do not really affect you. But I was thinking 
of the way you avoided the troubles and strug- 
gles and difficulties which so many people make 
for themselves in demanding to know before 
they will trust. That was the trouble with 
Thomas, you remember. He must see the print 
of the nails for himself before he would be- 
lieve. 

You ask if I would accept you as a member 
in St. Paul Church in your present condition 
of mind. Indeed I would. As I explained to 
you, our church does not require anything more 



112 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

than a simple acceptance of Jesus Christ as 
Saviour, Master and Friend, and the devo- 
tion of the life to him. This does not mean 
that we do not expect people to learn more 
about Christ than just these simple things. 
They are to go on learning all the while. The 
church is a school in which they are to be 
trained. But for the beginning this is all we 
require. No matter what questions or difficul- 
ties one may have, if one is willing to accept 
Christ and begin to follow him sincerely and 
truly, that is all we desire. I wish that you 
lived in Philadelphia, or near enough to come 
to St. Paul Church now and then. It would be a 
great joy indeed to welcome you into the mem- 
bership, and to have you come to the Lord's 
Table with us. 



TO ONE DISTURBED ABOUT THE 
HIGHER CRITICISM 

I HAVE your letter, telling me about your 
anxiety since hearing your sister's recital 
of her experiences. I feel very sorry that 
she has turned away so completely from the 
faith that but a little while ago made her so 
happy, and inspired her to such earnest help- 
fulness and usefulness. I have written her very 
frankly that the things she alleges are without 



Doubts and Doubters 113 

foundation. I know all about the battle that is 
going on in Germany, in England, and also in 
this country concerning the person and work of 
Christ, concerning the Bible, both the Old and 
the New Testament. 

The only way to live happily and to keep our 
feet on the rock in these days of skepticism and 
doubt is to rest upon the great fundamental 
truths, leaving all the uncertainties and all the 
questions in the hands of God. For some years 
the Christian world has been having a very 
serious time. I do not know how much you 
know of this, but in Germany especially, and 
also in Great Britain, there has been a vast 
amount of doubting on many questions. It has 
been the effort of certain scholars to overturn 
a large part of the New Testament. The great 
facts of Christianity have been disputed. Men 
are denying the resurrection of Christ. Then 
many are denying the teaching in Matthew and 
Luke of the virgin birth. In this country the 
battle is on. Almost all the religious periodi- 
cals, especially the more advanced ones, are 
discussing these questions with a great deal of 
earnestness. I am not afraid of this chaotic 
condition of thought regarding Christianity. It 
is to be expected. The whole matter of Biblical 
criticism in the last twenty years has tended 
to unsettle the faith of many people. But I 
am sure that we are coming out of it all by 



H4 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

and by into what may be called a new Christi- 
anity — not new in its great facts, but new in 
its traditional beliefs. 

The safest way, therefore, for you and your 
sister, and for all of us who are not able to 
enter into the discussions of the scholars con- 
cerning these vital questions, is to keep our 
faith strong and simple concerning the person 
of Christ himself, and to cling to him with un- 
wavering attachment, leaving all matters of 
particular beliefs and doctrines to be settled 
by and by, as they will ultimately be settled 
without doubt. Even if something has to be 
given up, we need not be afraid. The vital 
thing is that Christ is the Son of God, that he 
came to be the Saviour of the world, that if we 
receive him as our personal Saviour, and rest 
on him, we never shall be disappointed. This 
is enough for us to cling to. So long as we 
hold this belief nothing can destroy our faith 
and confidence. I have always said to people 
regarding the things they could not understand, 
and also the things they could not quite believe, 
that they are not required either to understand 
or to believe these things in order to be saved. 
If they will simply follow Christ as Saviour, 
Master, Friend, all will be well, and these per- 
plexing questions, these mysteries, these dif- 
ficulties of interpretation and belief, may be 
left outside entirely. Some day we shall un- 



Doubts and Doubters 115 

derstand, some day we shall know. We can af- 
ford to wait. 

Let me advise you simply to stay by the old 
faith which has meant so much to you in the 
past, which has carried you through your 
troubles and difficulties, through your sorrows 
and cares, giving you peace, and blessing you 
so wonderfully. I may not say a word against 
your sister's experience. I have stood by her 
through all her previous changes of opinion, 
trying to help her from time to time. I can- 
not help her now — no one can; but I am quite 
satisfied to wait, for I know perfectly well that 
she is right at heart, arid that, when these new 
opinions of hers have been thoroughly tested 
by her, she will abandon them, as she has aban- 
doned other things in the past. She will come 
back with childlike belief to Jesus Christ as 
her Master and Saviour. 

My advice to her is simply in a word — to 
put her trust in the personal Christ, and never 
waver for a moment. I do not see how anyone 
can waver in his faith in Christ when one 
has once known him. I am in the habit of say- 
ing that Christ and I are friends. There is 
no other friend in all the world who has been 
so real to me these many years as he has been. 
We live together, my Master and I; we talk 
together, we work together. I could as much 
doubt the existence of my own wife as the 



Ii6 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

existence of Jesus Christ. I have not the slight- 
est doubt, either, about his divine character, 
his power, his place in the world. I have heard 
all these things that your sister has heard, over 
and over and over and over again, and they 
have never shaken my faith for a single moment 
in the great fundamental truths of Christianity. 
I am not afraid of the higher criticism. I 
am not afraid of its results. If there happen 
to be portions of certain books that higher criti- 
cism proves to have been written by some dif- 
ferent author, or at some different time, than I 
have supposed, it does not trouble me in the 
least. The Bible itself is true — all good men 
acknowledge this, and no one denies it. The 
fight is chiefly over dates and chronologies and 
authorships. When higher criticism attacks 
Jesus Christ, I turn to the Second Psalm, which 
tells about men plotting against Jehovah, who 
sits in the heavens and laughs. Whatever is 
true and is proved to be true is part of God's 
revelation, and belongs to God's kingdom, and 
will stand forever. People's wrong opinions 
about scientific matters may be changed by the 
advancing sciences, but that never affects the 
truth, I can remember that my father was 
terribly shocked when reading books on geol- 
ogy, when they said that this world was not 
made in six little days. He thought that this 
was all heresy of the worst kind, almost athe- 



Doubts and Doubters lij 

ism. But we have found since that science is 
always the handmaiden of divine truth. We 
did not understand things as we understand 
them now. 

But I must not go into the matter. I want 
merely to quiet you with the confidence I have 
in my own heart. Jesus Christ is your truest 
Friend, and you may trust everything in his 
hands. You need never be afraid of the vapor- 
ings of any modern critics. Christ says, "I am 
the way, the truth, and the life." Accept this 
truth and be at peace. 



A STEP AT A TIME 

LET me say to you in this letter what I 
tried to say to you in our little talk to- 
day. Do not allow the doctrinal theories 
about Christ's person to interfere at all with 
your receiving of Christ. As a teacher you 
know that every pupil has to begin somewhere, 
usually in a very vague and uncertain way, 
and learn little by little, line upon line, until the 
whole truth has been made clear. Do not think 
that you have been doing wrong, that, as you 
suggest it, you have been dishonest in not quite 
understanding or accepting all that your church 
teaches concerning the person of Christ. All 
that you can be expected to do is to take the 



Il8 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

truth that is made known to you and follow it 
out. Indeed, I wish other people would do as 
you have done — think for themselves. So few 
people do this. The great majority of church 
members accept, or think they accept, just what 
their church teaches, asking no questions for 
themselves, never thinking out the articles of 
their creed in any personal way. I am glad 
that you are thinking for yourself. Even if 
your creed does not have as many articles in 
it as the creed of your church has — if you have 
only two or three things that you have worked 
out for yourself and believe because you have 
made personal investigation — these two or 
three great fundamental truths will mean far 
more to you than your nominal assent to a 
long creed, no single article of which you have 
ever thought through for yourself. 

Let me say to you further that the true way 
to follow Christ is to follow him just as fast 
as he lights the way for you. One evening, a 
good many years ago, a young fellow had been 
talking for several hours to the president of 
the college where he was attending on difficul- 
ties very much like yours. The young man 
could not see the truth as clearly as he wanted 
to see it. At the close of the conversation, 
when the young man was leaving the door, it 
was very dark and he had some distance to go 
out into the country where he was boarding. 



Doubts and Doubters 119 

The president brought him a lighted lantern 
and gave it to him, saying, "This will light 
you all the way home." Then the president 
added, "But it will light you only a step at a 
time as you go on.'* The words were just in 
line with the drift of the conversation during 
the evening, and the young man understood 
what his friend meant. The lantern lighted only 
one step; but, as he took that step, he carried 
the light forward, and a second step was made 
clear to him, and then the third, and then the 
fourth, until by and by he reached the door 
of his own home. He had walked all the way 
in the light, and yet he had never been able 
to see more than one step in advance of his 
feet. This is the way you want to learn about 
Christ. Take your present belief and let it work 
its way out in your own life without hesitation. 
When Christ says to you, ' ' Come unto me, . . . 
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon 
you, and learn of me; . . . and ye shall find 
rest," do just what he says. Come to him, let 
him be your teacher, listen to his words, accept 
him in just the way he offers himself to you. 
Do not hesitate at any extent of following him, 
but follow his teachings at the very fullest 
meaning. 

While you ponder these truths, be sure to 
let the personal Christ into your life in any 
way he wants to come. Simply let Christ have 



120 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

his way with you. If lie is to be your teacher, 
you are to be a faithful pupil, an earnest, sin- 
cere and true follower. As you go on, believ- 
ing what he says, doing what he wants you to 
do, letting him come into your life as he wants 
to come, testing every teaching by actual faith 
and experience, he will guide you step by step. 
Live up to the light you have to-day and you 
will have a little more light for to-morrow. 
Take the step which the lantern makes light 
for your feet and as you go forward another 
step will be lighted for you. Do not worry. 
Do not try to force yourself into any beliefs. 
Jesus says, "He that followeth me shall not 
walk in darkness, but shall have the light of 
life. ' 9 As you follow him you will find the light 
growing brighter all the time. 

Eemember that Christ is not merely a Sa- 
viour who died two thousand years ago, not 
one who lives away up above the stars in heaven 
and thinks of you — he is a friend right by your 
side, coming into your everyday life, into all 
your experiences, into your joys and sorrows, 
into your pleasures and your pain. You have 
no affairs in which he is not deeply interested 
and in which he will not help you. There are 
no troubles which you cannot take to him, as- 
sured that he will help you to bear them, or 
will relieve you of them. Make Christ more 
and more your close personal friend. 



Doubts and Doubters 121 

Beplying to your question about prayer, let 
me say that it is not necessary for you to make 
a long prayer to God, telling him everything 
you want. Christ and you are friends, and you 
know that two friends may sit together for 
hours and ask no favors of each other, make 
no request. They may even sit together in 
silence, holding each other's hands. That is 
the kind of prayer Christ likes best. We may 
call it communing with him. You say you do 
not know what to pray for. Then I would say 
a little prayer like this: 

"0 Christ, my Friend, I do not know what 
is best for me, what I need most, what I ought 
to ask you to do for me, so I just put my life 
into thy hands and into thy loving care and 
leave it there. Take care of me, do for me the 
things that are best, make me well and strong 
that I may take up my duties. Take into thy 
skillful hands the tangles and perplexities of my 
life and smooth them all out in thine own best 
way. Keep me trustful and keep me patient, 
keep me submissive to thy will, and keep me 
songful and joyful at heart. Help me to be 
just the girl thou wouldst have me to be, and 
make my life beautiful with the beauty thou 
hast in thy thought for me. Prepare me for 
whatever thou hast in plan for me in the fu- 
ture. Make me strong in duty and brave in 
all trouble. I ask in thy precious name. ' ' 



GROWING IN GRACE 






Growing in Grace 125 



NEAR THE HEART OF CHRIST 

I AM glad to find that you are so happy in 
your spiritual life. Sometimes people who 
are ill get discouraged, and their dis- 
couragement dims the brightness of their spirit- 
ual vision. As Tennyson puts it in one of his 
poems, the darkness gets into their heart and 
darkens their eyes. Many a person who is suf- 
fering from illness makes the suffering many 
times worse by permitting shadows to gather 
and obscure the face of God. I am so glad, how- 
ever, that in your case your joy is not dis- 
turbed, your peace is not broken. You are liv- 
ing near the heart of Christ, and there you al- 
ways have light about you. You remember 
that Jesus once said, "He that followeth me 
shall not walk in darkness." The reason he 
gave for this was that he himself is the light 
of the world. Light streams from him and all 
those who keep near to him find themselves in 
the light, however dark it may be a little way 
off around them. 

The peace of God is a wonderful blessing. 
Beginning with peace with God when we come 
to Christ and find forgiveness, the blessing 
deepens, until we are kept ourselves, folded up, 
as it were, in God's own very peace. Few prom- 



1126 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

ises mean more than that one of Jesus in John 
14:27 — " Peace I leave with you, my peace I 
give unto you.'' It is his own peace that he 
bequeathed to his followers. We know what 
Christ's peace was — he was never disturbed. 
All about him storms played. The waves of 
trouble dashed against him. But amid all the 
sufferings and buffetings his heart was ever 
at peace. Even on the cross, when he was dying, 
he did not lose his peace. It was still, "My 
God, my God." It is very sweet to think that 
we may have the very peace of Christ. Paul 
tells us also that the peace of God will guard 
our heart and thoughts in Jesus Christ — that 
is, when we refuse to be anxious about any- 
thing and instead bring all the troubles and 
trials and sufferings to God in prayer. Those 
verses in the fourth chapter of the Epistle 
to the Philippians are very precious. I am sure 
you understand them and have learned to live 
by them. 

Then that old promise in Isaiah is wonder- 
ful — "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, 
whose mind is stayed on thee." The keeping is 
God's — we cannot keep ourselves, but he can 
do it. Our part is simply trust — the staying of 
our mind upon God. 

But I need not go over even these precious 
things, for I am sure you understand them. 
I merely write to remind you of them, that 



Growing in Grace 127 

you may have fresh assurance of the eternal 
hiding place in which you are nestling, your 
heart's refuge in the eternal God, your life hid 
with Christ. 

Eeplying to your question, "How can one 
come to feel the personal presence of Christ V 9 
I would say that we need to be careful not to 
depend too much upon feeling in the matter of 
our spiritual relations. Peter speaks of Christ 
as one of whom, not having seen, we love, on 
whom though now we see him not, yet believing 
we rejoice. There is a difference between 
a friend whom we can see, whose touch we 
can feel, on whose arm we can lean, whose voice 
we can hear, and one who is invisible to us. 
Yet Christ is just as near to us as the closest 
human friend who stands by our side, into 
whose face we can look, from whose spoken 
words we receive warmth and inspiration. As 
to his human body, Christ is in heaven, but 
he says in his last promise to his disciples, "I 
am with you alway. ' ' 

For example, I do not see Christ while I am 
writing this letter to you, but I know that he 
is nearer to me than the closest human friend 
could be. I know that he is right by me, that 
he sees me and knows my thoughts and feel- 
ings, that he loves me and thinks about me 
and cheers and inspires and encourages me. 
So Christ has become to me the most real friend 



128 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

in all the world. I try to think of him con- 
tinually and always to love him as I would love 
him if I saw him. I tell him my difficulties and 
questions and temptations, my needs, and talk 
with him about my friends, and those who come 
to me for help. Thus I try to live all my life 
with Christ in the closest companionship. 

Yet I have never seen him, never heard his 
voice, never felt his touch. If we believe in 
the existence of Christ and his presence with 
us, according to his promise, he will become as 
real to us as he was to Mary and Martha, sit- 
ting at his feet and listening to his words, or 
to John as he lay upon his bosom at the sup- 
per table. Such relations with Christ cannot 
but establish between him and us a very real 
and personal friendship. We are sure that 
he is our friend, and, believing in his love, trust- 
ing and following him, living with him, will soon 
lead us to love him. There is a verse in the 
eleventh chapter of Hebrews which says about 
Moses that "he endured, as seeing him who is 
invisible." Moses never saw God with human 
eyes, but God was so real to Moses that it was 
as if he saw him. The faith of Moses made 
God's presence a constant reality to him. 

I am not certain that what I have said will 
help you directly, but I am sure this is the way 
to get the blessing you want to get. You must 
believe what Christ says about his love and 



Growing in Grace 129 

care for you, about his presence with you and 
his desire to help you. Your faith will thus 
make him a reality to you. Then you and 
Christ will become such close and familiar 
friends that you will soon learn to walk with 
him, to live with him. 

Let me guard you against trying to have any 
vision of Christ, or against feeling in this mat- 
ter. The craving for feeling in spiritual rela- 
tions is harmful. Christ is not with us in hu- 
man form. He said to Mary on that Easter 
Day, ' ' Touch me not ; for I am not yet ascended 
to my Father. ' ' The old natural relations were 
not restored. We need to guard against the 
same craving, for it never can be realized, but 
what is realized, the spiritual relation, is far 
higher and purer and more real. 



TO ONE WHO WANTS TO GET CLOSE TO 

CHRIST 

I AM not going to ask you to tell me any- 
thing more about your trouble than you 
have told me already. When you are 
ready for it you will open your heart to me 
fully. Meanwhile, let me say to you that you 
must open your heart to Christ. You need not 
fear to tell him anything that concerns you. 
Of course, he knows all about it, but he wants 



130 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

you to tell it, nevertheless. When yon read 
this letter will you not fall on your knees and 
tell Christ out of your deepest heart, in sim- 
plest, most childlike way, precisely what it is 
that is imperiling your life or casting a shadow 
over you, hiding the face of the Master from 
you? You say you do not get near to Christ 
and that it is because you will not. The reason 
you give is the only reason that ever keeps 
anyone away from the utmost closeness to the 
heart of the Saviour. He once said, "Ye will 
not come to me, that ye might have life. ' ' He 
longs to have us not only come to him, but come 
very close to him. Christ hungers for our full 
confidence, for our most trusting love, and 
then for our most faithful obedience. 

But let me say to you that there need not be 
a single day more of this pain or sorrow in 
your heart. You have only to creep back into 
the bosom of that Friend, who loves you more 
than anyone in all the world loves you. I was 
teaching our teachers last Monday evening the 
lesson for next Sunday — the Fifty-first Psalm 
— and I spoke particularly of the complete- 
ness, the fullness and the gladness of God's for- 
giveness. He not only blots out the record of 
our sins against us, and washes us until every 
stain is gone, until we are whiter than snow, 
but he takes us back into his own heart so speed- 
ily that it is as if we never had sinned at all. 



Growing in Grace 131 

He says, "Our sins and our iniquities lie will 
remember no more against us forever." The 
very memory of our wrongdoing fades from 
the mind of God when he forgives us, so full 
is his love, so rich, so tender, so overflowing. 
Whatever it is, therefore, that has been in any 
sense hiding the face of Christ from you, put 
it away and be sure that you will be received 
into your old place, with all the infinite love of 
your Saviour 's heart. 

But I need not write more. You understand 
and I want you always to know with what lov- 
ing interest I shall pray for you all the days 
until I know my letter has reached you. It 
will all be right, and you must not be discour- 
aged. You must not stay a day in the shadows. 
Come out into the full sunlight and you will 
be surprised at the great joy which your heart 
will have. 



GOD WITH HIS PEOPLE 

FIEST of all I am going to send you a Bi- 
ble to-day. Please accept this as a 
Christmas token. Nothing can be better 
for the day that means so much to a thought- 
ful heart than the Book which tells of the won- 
derful love of God. I will send you a Bible 
which has good type and which I think you 



132 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

will like. It is the American Eevision, and 
you will find it quite different in a good many 
words and expressions from the old King 
James Version, which I suppose you have used 
at home all your life. But I like the Eevision 
and use it myself. 

If I were to make any request of you re- 
garding the use of this Bible, it would be that 
you first read over the first four Gospels in 
the New Testament — Matthew, Mark, Luke and 
John. I would like you to read them thought- 
fully and carefully, with a little prayer each 
day that God would help you to know Christ 
better and better, and to receive him into your 
everyday life. Many people think about Christ 
as a glorious Being, living far off in the bright- 
ness of heaven. This is true, of course, but 
it is only part of the truth. You know those 
lines of Browning's : 

God's in his heaven, — 
All's right with the world. 

Certainly, God is in his heaven, but he is also 
right on his earth. 

The experience you relate illustrates this 
truth. I feel, just as you do, that the coming 
of the trained nurse in her carriage right to 
the lonely spot where your sister was so ill 
was not a mere coincidence. I know some peo- 
ple would say that such a feeling as you and 



Growing in Grace 133 

I have about the matter is superstitious, or at 
least they would try to make us believe that 
it was purely accidental. But I am not dis- 
turbed by such opinions as these. More and 
more do I believe in the immanence of God and 
his personal interest and activity in the affairs 
of people 's lives. When Jesus said to his disci- 
ples, "Lo, I am with you alway, even unto 
the end of the world, ' ' he certainly meant what 
he said. We cannot deny the omnipresence of 
God. There is no spot in the world where he 
is not. There is a story of an atheist whose 
little girl attended a Sunday school, and was 
taught some of the simple elementary truths of 
the Christian religion. One day her father 
was writing some words for her, teaching her 
to spell, and wrote this — "God is nowhere.' ' 
He asked the little girl if she could read the 
words. She spelled them out — "God is now 
here." The child's misreading of the father's 
sentence startled him and led to his own con- 
version. Always we can say, "God is now 
here." 

The teaching of Christ is that he is with his 
own followers and friends, in a peculiar man- 
ner manifesting himself to them, as he does 
not manifest himself to the world. Take that 
saying of the Master — ' ' The very hairs of your 
head are all numbered." This does not mean 
that God actually counts the hairs of our heads. 



134 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

But the expression is meant to teach us that 
the smallest things in our lives, the smallest 
incidents, the smallest events, the smallest 
needs, are taken notice of by our Father, and 
that nothing, however little it may be, or in- 
significant, is overlooked or forgotten by him. 
I need not go further with this defense of 
the belief which has such a strong place in 
your heart. The doctrine of the immanence of 
God is that he is in this world as truly as the 

air we breathe. Tennyson puts it, you know: 

» 

The sun, the moon, the stars, the seas, the hills and the 

plains, — 
Are not these, Soul, the Vision of Him who reigns? 
Dark is the world to thee; thyself art the reason why; 
Glory about thee, without thee ; and thou f ulfillest thy doom, 
Making him broken gleams, and a stifled splendor and 

gloom. 
Speak to him thou, for he hears, and Spirit with Spirit can 

meet; 
Closer is he than breathing, and nearer than hands and 

feet. 

We are all the time in the presence of God. 
In him we live and move and have our being. 
Then God loves us. We are his children. If 
the name "Father" applied to God has any 
meaning at all, it must mean more than the 
word "father" or "mother" means as applied 
to our human relationships. Can we say that 
our heavenly Father is less kind, less thought- 



Growing in Grace 135 

■ ■ ■ ■ H I— ■■■ ■■■■ r ■ I! ■ ■. .■ . .■■■■!. II ■ ■ — I. I ■■■ ,. , .11 1, , .III.— ..J 

ful, less compassionate, less attentive to the 
needs of his children than human fathers and 
mothers are to the needs of their children? 

I am sure, therefore, that the incident which 
you described as occurring last summer was 
really an expression of God's thought and care 
of you and your sister in your dire need. The 
Old Testament tells about Hagar and her child 
— when the child was dying of thirst, and the 
mother could do nothing but sit by and listen 
to her child's cries, an angel came and showed 
her a spring of water. The teaching of the 
Bible is not that God is always working mira- 
cles for us. He helps us first in natural ways, 
through our own strength or wit or wisdom or 
ingenuity, or through the interposition of our 
friends. But when no human help is available, 
then God comes himself. 



UNDERNEATH ARE THE' EVERLASTING 

ARMS 

I WRITE to you a little note at once, be- 
fore you leave your old home. I am sorry 
that you have had so much care and anx- 
iety in preparing for your change of residence. 
I hope that everything is settled now and that 
you will have nothing further to disturb or 
distract you. I wish I were near enough to you 



136 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

to be of some little use to you, for I should 
love to help you in your life. All I can do at 
this distance, however, is to speak to God for 
you in prayer, asking him to give you quietness 
and confidence and peace, and then to write to 
you whenever you wish me to do so, to say my 
word of encouragement and uplifting to you. 

The sweetest life is the one that nestles the 
most quietly and unquestioningly in the hands 
of God. I always like that picture of John 
which we have at the Last Supper, when he 
leaned upon Christ's breast. It seems such an 
ideal place for anyone to lean. Especially it 
is a place in which those who are suffering, 
those who are weak and broken in health, those 
who have any sorrow or care, may nestle. There 
is a verse, too, in the Old Testament which 
seems to belong under this picture as a sort 
of legend — "The eternal God is thy refuge, 
and underneath are the everlasting arms." 
Embracing arms suggest a father's love or the 
love of a very dear and trusted friend. It is 
very sweet for a child to nestle thus in the arms 
of father and mother. The embrace suggests 
not only affection, but support, protection, shel- 
ter, secure keeping. The strongest and gen- 
tlest human arms will some day fall away, un- 
clasping their embrace. But the arms of 
God are " everlasting. 9 9 Nothing can ever un- 
bind them from us. Nothing can ever snatch 



Growing in Grace 137 

us out of those arms. We know that when once 
enfolded in the love of God we shall be kept 
there forever. Whatever human arms may have 
dropped away from their embrace of you, or 
may hereafter drop away, you know that the 
arms of God will always enfold you in warm, 
tender, strong affection. Another precious 
word in this old text is the word "underneath." 
The arms are always underneath. No matter 
how low one sinks away in suffering, or weak- 
ness, or pain, or trial, still and always under- 
neath are the everlasting arms. 

I want you to feel that God's love is ever- 
lasting, that his grace is eternal, that the pro- 
tection you have in him is something that never 
can be disturbed. Earth's nests are all liable 
to be torn to pieces, for nothing here is stable 
and sure. Even the giant mountain peaks shall 
molder away. But the love of God remains 
ever the same. Here is another text which 
you will like : ' ' The mountains shall depart, and 
the hills be removed ; but my kindness shall not 
depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of 
my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath 
mercy on thee." 

Excuse my little sermon, but I want to help 
to give you strength and confidence when you 
have had so much to perplex and disturb you. 
Do not be afraid of anything. God is taking 
care of you. Bead the One hundred and twenty- 



138 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

first Psalm the day yon move — it is sometimes 
called "The Traveler's Psalm.' ' 



REFUGE IN CHRIST 

I AM glad to have your letter this morning 
and to know that yon are now settled in 
your new home and are coming to feel 
comfortable and at home there. I wish it were 
Philadelphia instead of New York where you 
are staying, that I might see you now and then 
and do what little I could do to give you cheer 
and encouragement. As it is, however, I assure 
you of loving remembrance. It is very sweet 
just to nestle down in the hands of Christ, to 
be a little child with him. That is what he says 
Christians are to be. Those who come other- 
wise do not get near to him, but the little chil- 
dren always find a close place in his heart. So 
the more like children we can be in our trust 
and in the simplicity of our faith, in humble- 
ness of disposition, in willingness to do his will 
and to learn of him — the nearer to him shall 
we get and the more shall we enjoy of his love. 
Some years since, as I was passing along 
one of our streets one afternoon, I heard a flut- 
tering of birds over my head and, looking up, 
saw a little bird flying wildly about in circles, 
chased by a hawk. The bird flew down lower 



Growing in Grace 139 

and lower and presently darted into my bosom, 
under my coat. I cannot express to you quite 
the feeling which filled my heart at that mo- 
ment, that a little bird, chased by an enemy, 
had come to me for refuge, trusting me in time 
of danger. I laid my hand over the bird, which 
nestled as quietly and confidently under my coat 
as a baby would in a mother's bosom. I carried 
the little thing along for several blocks until 
I thought the way was clear of danger, and 
then let it out. It flew away into the air again, 
but showed no fear of me. Ever since that 
experience I have understood better what it is 
to 'fly into the bosom of Christ for refuge and 
for safety in time of danger, or in time of dis- 
tress. The lines of the old hymn have meant 
more ever since : 

"Jesus, lover of my soul, 
Let me to thy bosom fly." 

Nothing gives me more joy than when per- 
sons come to me in distress, in anxiety, in 
trouble, or in helplessness, seeking for coun- 
sel, for friendship, for shelter, for help. Many 
persons have come very much as the bird came 
that afternoon. All this helps me to under- 
stand better what it means to Jesus Christ when 
we, hunted and chased by enemies, or suffering 
from weakness or pain, fly to him and hide our- 
selves in his love. 



140 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

That is what I am sure you have learned to 
do — just to creep into the bosom of Christ, 
and lie down there, with no fear, no anxiety, 
but with simple trust. "Thou wilt keep him 
in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee : 
because he trusteth in thee." 

I am glad that the One hundred and twenty- 
first Psalm has meant more to you since you 
read it the day you went to New York. I take 
the liberty of sending you a copy of my book- 
let on this Psalm — "Unto the Hills." It may 
help to fix some of the thoughts of the Psalm 
still more firmly in your memory. 



GLORIFYING SELF AND GLORIFYING 

GOD 

IT seems to me as I read your letter over 
carefully the second time that you are need- 
lessly anxious about the matter concerning 
which you write. Of course I understand that 
the Christian must always put Christ first and 
think of him in all his life. One of Paul's words 
says, "Whatsoever ye do in word or deed, 
do all in the name of the Lord Jesus." That 
is, if we love Christ truly, we will want to do 
everything for him, to honor his name, to bless 
him, to extend the influence of his love among 
others. Of course, this being true, we should 



Growing in Grace 141 

not live for ourselves, to get glory for our 
own name, to bring honor and reward to our- 
selves. 

Jenny Lind used to say, "I sing to God." 
Her heart was so full of love for God that she 
thought only of him in her singing, not of her- 
self. At the same time, we know that there 
gathered about her own head wonderful honor, 
as thousands and thousands of people listened 
to her and were filled with rapture as they 
heard her sing. Or take any eloquent preacher. 
As he preaches, men and women are drawn to 
him and wait upon his words with admiration 
and enthusiasm. Of course, he is honored, but 
if he is a true man he lays all the honor down 
at the feet of Christ. No one who lives suc- 
cessfully can help receiving honor for himself. 
One who writes beautiful poems makes a name 
for himself, a name which lives in the world 
and shines wherever it is known. Of course, 
it is possible for the person to do all this for 
his own glory, with no thought at all of Christ. 
This is not the way to live. But it is possible 
for such a person, winning the acclamations and 
plaudits of the world, to be as humble as a lit- 
tle child. For example, Eev. Eeginald J. Camp- 
bell spent a day with me a few weeks ago. He 
spoke twice in Philadelphia. You know of 
him. He is under forty years of age, but he 
has won a wonderful name for himself in Lon- 



142 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

don and throughout England. Coming to this 
country, he has preached in all our large cities 
during the summer, and every place great 
throngs have waited upon him, and he has re- 
ceived commendations everywhere. But I never 
saw a more simple-hearted man than he is. As 
he sat here in my office and we talked together, 
he appeared to be utterly unconscious of the 
fact that he was talked about everywhere, and 
that his name was praised by thousands and 
thousands of people. He loves Christ, he lives 
for Christ. Every word he speaks is meant to 
honor Christ by helping others. 

This, as I understand it, is the solution of 
the perplexity which you bring to me. I see no 
reason why anyone should decline to use his 
own name when he writes beautiful things. 
Indeed, I believe we owe it to our Master to 
let our name grow to mean as much as possi- 
ble. There is tremendous influence in a name. 
If one writes a book or does good in other ways 
and his name goes out over the world, it grows 
to mean a great deal to all who love it. If there 
is no Christ in the man's heart this is all mere 
worldliness, but if he loves Christ, that beauti- 
ful name, with all its honor, glorifies Christ him- 
self. 

Coming back to your own question, there- 
fore, it seems to me you should rejoice in the 
privilege that Christ gives you, and thank him 



Growing in Grace 143 

for the ability he has bestowed upon you, that 
you may write beautiful things which will honor 
your Master and carry comfort and cheer and 
encouragement to the hearts of the people. Do 
not be afraid that Christ is jealous of the honor 
that comes to you. Indeed, he rejoices in it and 
seeks to have the honor grow brighter and 
brighter, as long as you use it all to make his 
name more glorious, to spread the influence of 
his love among people, and to help other lives. 
Eemember this also, that Christ does not care 
for mere glory and honor in itself. What he 
wants is that we may make his name known to 
people, that blessing may come to them through 
his teachings. The only true way of showing 
our love for Christ is by loving others in his 
name, interpreting his love to them. Your mis- 
sion, therefore, in the world, is to tell people 
all you can of the love of Christ, of his good- 
ness, his compassion, his kindness, his patience, 
his mercy, that they may learn to love him 
too, and that they may receive from him the 
comfort and the joy and the peace and the bless- 
ing which you have received and which have 
made your life so beautiful. 



PRAYER PROBLEMS 



Prayer Problems 147 



THE JOY OF TALKING WITH GOD 

I AM glad to have your letter this morn- 
ing, and especially so because it is so full 
of encouragement and good cheer. You 
know I think that good cheer is not only half 
of every beautiful life, but when one is sick is 
fully half of the cure. Always keep your face 
toward the light, toward hope. Never yield to 
discouragement, whatever the circumstances 
may be. 

I write to you to-day especially to try to an- 
swer the question which you raise with regard 
to prayer. You say that in the past, when you 
have prayed, you have finished it with a feel- 
ing of relief, as if you said, "Well, I am glad 
that is done." The difficulty, it seems to me, 
is in this, that prayer has been to you a sort 
of task, something that needed to be done mere- 
ly as a duty, something in which there was a 
merit in the act and not in the real experi- 
ence. I want to help you if I can possibly do 
so to get away from all this feeling. 

Let me illustrate. If you have a very dear 
friend, do you not like to sit down and talk 
with him quietly now and then? Do you re- 
gard it as a task, or a pleasure? Take your 
husband, for example, the closest and best 
friend. When you have your little talk in the 



148 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

morning before he goes to business, when it 
is over do you heave a sigh of relief and say, ' ' I 
am glad that's over"? Then in the evening, 
when he comes in from his duties, and you sit 
down together for a quiet hour at the dinner 
table or for your evening talk, do you have the 
same feeling! Does it seem to you that you are 
simply fulfilling a duty, something that you 
have to do because you are his wife? I am 
sure this is not the case. You enter with zest 
and gladness into the little talks. You never 
think of fixing periods for conversation merely 
because you happen to be his wife. If this were 
the case, your marriage would be simply a 
farce. 

The same is true in a measure of every good 
friend, everyone you love. It gives you great 
joy to have talks with them. Or if there is some 
one you care for and who is able to help you 
in your difficulties and your troubles, and you 
write to this person, is it a task — something 
you are glad to get through with? Or do you 
take delight in it? Is it a pleasure to you to 
write your letter unburdening your heart, ask- 
ing your questions, and then again to read the 
letters which come in response? 

I need not apply this. What I want to help 
you to understand is that Christ is your truest 
and best friend. Much as your husband loves 
you, pure and true and strong as his affection 



Prayer Problems 149 

is, Christ's love is deeper, stronger, tenderer, 
more gentle. Then you, being a Christian, are 
Christ's friend. That is, you have accepted 
his love, letting him into your heart, and have 
begun to love him in return. Eeligion really 
narrows itself down to a single statement — 
"Christ and I are friends.' ' If you think of 
this a little, and begin to realize what Christ 
is to you, you will not look upon prayer any 
longer as something to be done, merely as a 
devotee twirls her beads on the string saying 
her little prayers, but as a joy, a delight. 
Prayer is simply your little talk with Christ, as 
you would sit down with any dear, tender, close 
and trusted human friend for a little talk. 

Of course the friendship is not equal — for 
Christ is infinitely stronger than you, wiser 
than you and greater, and you come to him for 
help, to lay your burdens upon him, to bring 
questions to him, to seek strength and comfort 
from him. For example, just now he is your 
true Physician. However much you may trust 
the doctors who are caring for you, remember 
always that all healing is divine healing, that 
human physicians, with all their wisdom and 
skill, can do nothing save as Christ blesses the 
means they use. You go to him, therefore, to 
ask him to take charge of your case, to bless the 
physicians and the means they use. Then you 
go to him for other things also — for comfort, 



150 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

for encouragement, for cheer. John lay upon 
Christ's bosom, nestling there on that dark 
night of his sorrow, when he knew the Master 
was to be taken away from him. That is the 
way you may rest, nestling in the bosom of 
Christ, infolded by his strong arms. 

I have said enough now to help you to think 
this matter through for yourself. I am sure 
when you realize that Christ and you are 
friends, close, tender friends — that Christ is 
your infinite helper as well as your Saviour — 
you will not have any more trouble in praying. 
You will be eager to sit down at his feet, as 
Mary sat, listening to his words, or to lie upon 
his breast, as John did, catching every whis- 
per that fell from his lips. 



SHALL WE PEAY FOR THE HEALING OF 

DISEASE? 

I AM glad to read your letter over, and yet 
I am very sorry for the things that are 
causing you added anxiety. It certainly 
must be very sad for you all to have the little 
child grow worse again, thus disappointing so 
many fond hopes. 

You ask about prayer in such cases. There 
is always a difficulty in making oneself un- 
derstand, or even in formulating our own be- 



Prayer Problems 151 

liefs on the subject of prayer when matters like 
sickness are concerned. There is no question 
whatever that God hears all our prayers. He is 
our Father, and no human father in the world 
was ever so truly interested in any of his 
children as God is in each one of us. Jesus 
said, "Your heavenly Father knoweth that ye 
have need of all these things." We are sure, 
therefore, that in one sense God does not need 
to be told anything about our lives. He hears 
the prisoner's sigh, and the twittering of the 
sparrows when they are hungering for food on 
the winter days. With regard to the answer, 
however, we must remember that God is wise as 
well as good. He takes in, not merely the pres- 
ent day and to-morrow, but also the future. 
He never gives us a mess of pottage at the cost 
of our birthright. He never allows us to take 
from the treasury of his blessings a temporal 
good or gift which will imperil our future 
spiritual good. He is too kind not to cause us 
pain, when pain is the best thing for us. This 
is about all I can say on this matter. The 
teaching, however, is this, that we should trust 
the wisdom of God to decide the manner of the 
answer to prayer quite as much as we trust the 
love of God for sympathy and tenderness in 
our suffering. 

There is something else to say also. No doubt 
there is a great deal of what may be called 



152 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

vicarious suffering in this world. If you read 
the story of Job you will learn that it was not 
particularly for his own sanctification that the 
trouble came upon him, but for the confuting 
of Satan's accusations or charges, and the wit- 
nessing before the world to the power of God's 
grace to sustain and strengthen. We look with 
broken-hearted compassion upon a suffering 
child. Over and over again when I have sat 
by such a child, watching its anguish and pain, 
my heart has been most deeply stirred, and 
I have been led to ask, "Why must this child 
suffer in this way?" There was no reason in 
the child that I could see. Yet I have seen over 
and over again a whole household not only 
brought to Christ but enriched in spiritual life, 
and blessed immeasurably through the suffer- 
ing of a little child. I knew a young girl who 
had the very trouble of which your sister's 
child is suffering — "white swelling." Year 
after year until perhaps she was eighteen, this 
child suffered most excruciating anguish. She 
clung to me very fondly as I often went in to 
see her to say something cheerful to her and 
make a little prayer by her bedside. I would 
not attempt to-day to give a reason why this 
innocent, sweet, beautiful child was permitted 
to suffer during those six or seven years until 
she died. I can only say that one of the re- 
sults of that suffering was the enriching of the 



Prayer Problems 153 

■ 

whole household in a most wondrous way. She 
has been dead now for thirteen or fourteen 
years, but the memory of her beautiful face and 
sweet spirit — her patience and peace and love, 
— lingers in the hearts of her father and 
mother. Only yesterday a letter came to me 
from the father, on a little business matter, and 
in it he referred to the invalid, as he always 
does and as the mother always does when they 
write to me or when I meet them. I can testify 
that for myself the ministry upon that child 
was an education. I think few things in all my 
experience ever have affected me so deeply, 
have left plainer or more indubitable marks 
upon my character, than her sweet life left. 

I merely give you this incident to help you to 
understand my answer about prayer. God does 
not promise to answer all prayers in a literal 
way at once. We must submit our prayers to 
his wisdom, asking him to do the thing that is 
best. It may be best for the child to suffer, for 
who knows what childhood's suffering may do 
in the preparation of a spirit for service near 
God's throne, ages and ages hence? The only 
true thought of life which I can get is that 
which thinks of it as one continuous existence, 
not limited by seventy or eighty years at the 
most, but stretching on beyond into the eterni- 
ties. We say a child lives in vain if it is sick 
for ten or twelve or fourteen years and then 



154 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

dies of a long, agonizing illness. No, we dare 
not say that. Some people even call God cruel 
because lie permits such suffering in an inno- 
cent and beautiful child. But here again we 
know not what to say. I believe that life in 
this world is at best only a preparation for 
future existence. If I am spared for sixty or 
seventy or eighty years, and then go home, what 
I have passed through in this world in the way 
of suffering, of struggle, of defeat, of victory, 
of joy or of sorrow will all go into the prepara- 
tion for my real life, which will begin the morn- 
ing after I get home to heaven, and go on for- 
ever. So we cannot say, we dare not say, that 
any child's anguish and pain are in vain, or 
that the life which is filled with such experiences 
here is in any sense a useless life. The suffer- 
ing purifies the spirit, lifts up the heart toward 
God, makes the character stronger and truer, 
and gives new tenderness and new sympathy 
to the person. 

Then who can tell what the influence may be 
upon the loved ones who stand about the child's 
bed and witness its sufferings'? While their 
hearts are breaking with sympathy and an- 
guish, if they keep near Christ their very suf- 
fering will help to sweeten their own lives and 
fit them for larger, better service. Nothing 
draws out the best things in life as care for 
a suffering one does. Many a mother is made 



Prayer Problems 155 

angelic in her spirit, Christlike, almost divine, 
by being called to minister, month after month, 
in the sick room of her own child. 

Let me now answer the question about prayer 
— that God does always hear prayer if the 
prayer be sincere and true. And also that he 
answers prayer not always literally in a physi- 
cal sense. We can breathe up our prayers to 
God and know that they will be answered in 
the best way. One of the most beautiful pic- 
tures in the book of Revelation is that of the 
" vials full of odors, which are the prayers of 
saints/' which John saw. The picture sug- 
gests first that all prayer is fragrant to God — 
odors; and, second, that the prayers that rise 
to heaven are not lost, even though not an- 
swered immediately. They are kept as in vials, 
before God, in safety, until the time comes for 
their answering. 

What you and I want, therefore, is not only 
a simple faith but also a large faith, taking in 
all time and all eternity, a faith not only in 
the wonderful love of God but also in the wis- 
dom of God. 

You will understand that I have been think- 
ing a great deal about your sister as I have 
read your letter and dictated these words. My 
prayer goes up to God for her that her faith 
may be strengthened and that her own heart 
may be sweetened and enriched by the grace of 



156 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

God, as she keeps her loving mother-watch 
about her suffering child. 

Do not let me give the impression that God 
never answers prayer for healing. I think he 
does. I think that all healing is wrought by 
Christ. We must always send for the physi- 
cian and use all the means within our reach, for 
this is ordinarily God's way of helping us. But 
we fail if when using the means we do not also 
pray to God. The best means are of no avail 
unless God uses them and blesses them. While, 
therefore, we have the physician and employ 
all available skill and use every means within 
our power to bring back restored health, we 
must take the case to God and leave it ever in 
his hands. 



WHY PEAYEE IS NOT ANSWEEED 

WITH regard to this whole matter of 
recovery, I assure you of loving in- 
terest. All your friends are eager to 
have you restored to health. I thoroughly sym- 
pathize with you and have prayed very much 
for you all along these months since I have 
known you, that God would make you strong 
and well again, if it be his will. 

I would like to help you, however, into the 
sweetest and most perfect faith. The trouble 



Prayer Problems 157 

sometimes is that people who are sick pray for 
health and do not yield up their life to Christ. 
Health is very important, but the first thing for 
you is the entire surrender of your life into 
the hands of Jesus Christ. Health is only one 
of the accessories of life — life itself is far more 
important. This is what Christ wants. He 
wants your heart. He wants the surrender of 
yourself to him. He wants you to take him 
without any question, not only as your Saviour, 
but as your Master. This means that you will 
trust all your affairs to him, and think very 
little about them. Please remember, therefore, 
it is you, yourself, that Christ wants first of 
all — that he wants you to yield your heart, your 
will, your whole life, with all its affairs, its 
questions, and everything, to him. The prom- 
ises I have given you all mean this. For ex- 
ample, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, 
whose mind is stayed on thee : because he trust- 
eth in thee. ,, This does not refer merely to 
the healing of the body, to restoration to health 
— it refers, first of all, to yourself. You are 
to let yourself down upon the love and power 
of Christ, staying your mind upon him. Then 
he will keep you in perfect peace. 

I do not know what God's plans for you may 
be. I hope that he has long life for you, that 
you may be restored to be a hearty woman, 
with vigorous health, that you may be for many 



158 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

years a happy wife, building up a home with 
your husband, a home which will be a bless- 
ing to many others. What I am trying to help 
you to understand is that you must give your- 
self to Christ at the same time, even before you 
ask for health. Then you need not be afraid 
to intrust everything into the hands of him 
who knows you and loves you better than any 
human friend can possibly do. 

I know people, for instance, who are not 
Christians at all, who never think of serving 
Christ, who have not given themselves to him 
in any sense, who even are living a worldly 
and, perhaps, a sinful life, yet when they are 
sick they pray God to make them well and get 
very vehement and earnest in their praying. 
You see at once the unreasonableness of this 
sort of living. Christ makes no promises to 
answer prayer to us until we have submitted 
ourselves to him entirely. You are a Christian 
woman, I believe — you have united with the 
Church, I think. Have you surrendered your 
whole life to Christ? Are you trusting him as 
your only Saviour? Are you taking his com- 
mandments as the rule of your life, living lov- 
ingly, purely, unselfishly, honestly, truthfully 
— doing the things which he commands you? 
He says, "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatso- 
ever I command you.'' Think of these words 
— they will tell you what it is to be a Christian. 



Prayer Problems 159 

What I want to do is to help you to make an 
entire surrender of your will, your heart, your 
conscience, your whole life to Christ, that he 
may fill your heart with his love and make you 
a new woman. The most important thing for 
you is not that you shall get strong physically 
and live to be sixty or seventy years old. The 
most important thing is that you shall give up 
your life to Christ, to be his and his alone. Then 
you can pray for the recovery of your health, 
but always submissively, saying, "Not my will, 
but thine, be done. ' ' 



GETTING THE MASTERY OVER SIN 

IF you were here and I could talk to you 
now and then and offer a little prayer to 
God with you and for you, I am sure I could 
do very much more for you than I can merely 
through letters. But I want to help you in 
every way. Especially do I want to help you 
to be strong. Remember that the divine keep- 
ing which is promised to us depends upon our- 
selves far more than we sometimes think. We 
ask God to keep us, and then we let ourselves 
drift along in the old way and think our prayers 
have not been answered and that God has not 
done for us what he promises to do. We for- 
get that we must get the mastery of our desires 



160 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

and feelings if we would get God's help. The 
old maxim which says, "God helps those who 
help themselves" is perfectly true. For in- 
stance, there is no use in our praying God to 
provide for our bodily wants, if we are strong 
and do not lift a hand to earn the bread we 
ask God to give to us. So when we ask that 
we may be kept from doing wrong, we must 
resolve to stand like a rock in the path of right, 
resisting all evil. 

I get letters very often in which the writers 
tell me that somehow they do not get answers 
to their prayers when they ask God to keep 
them from doing wrong. The reason is that 
their prayers are not accompanied by any real 
effort to do the thing they ask God to help 
them to do. Kemember that Christ does not 
destroy our desires, our feelings, our appetites, 
our passions. Buddha's teaching was that de- 
sire must die, that our appetites and passions 
must be crushed and destroyed. Christ taught 
a different way — not the crushing and the de- 
stroying of our natural longings and desires, 
but the satisfying of them in the right way. 
You remember he said that he that drinketh of 
this water, that is, of God's grace and love, 
shall never thirst, and that the water he takes 
will become a living well in him, springing up 
into everlasting life. You will find that Christ 
never says a word in all the gospel about crush- 



Prayer Problems 161 

ing our feelings and desires — lie wants us to 
bring all these heart yearnings to him, and he 
promises to satisfy them from his own fullness 
and in his own service. 

The truest way for us to get the mastery 
over anything wrong is to turn all the power of 
our life toward the doing of something beauti- 
ful and good. If you will seek opportunities 
to help others, using your pent-up affections 
and feelings in this sacred service, you will find 
that they will be satisfied and more than satis- 
fied. If you yield to a wrong desire, even for a 
little while, it leaves bitterness in your heart 
afterwards. But if you turn that same natural 
longing into a channel of helpfulness to others 
and honor to Christ, you will find the satisfac- 
tion far deeper and joy instead of bitterness as 
a result. We must think of ourselves as the 
children of God. If you realize that you are 
God's child, Christ's redeemed one, and that 
your life must be kept for Christ, and that you 
must live worthy of him who died for you and 
worthy of the high calling to which he calls 
you, you cannot but rise into a worthy, whole- 
some, natural and well-balanced character. 
You remember Tennyson's words: 

Self -reverence, self-knowledge, self-control, — 
These three alone lead life to sovereign power. 

You ask me the meaning of the words, 
" Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temp- 



162 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

tation : the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh 
is weak." One lesson from the words is that 
we must watch ourselves, watch against the 
smallest beginnings of wrong, watch against 
the alluring temptations which come to us — 
watch as well as pray — the very thing I have 
been saying to you. Temptation is not a sin 
in itself. We all are tempted. Christ himself 
was tempted. Indeed, we are continually re- 
quired to make our choice between the right 
and the wrong. When some one speaks sharp- 
ly to us there is a temptation to retort in like 
tone. We have not sinned, however, in ex- 
periencing the temptation. But if we yield to 
it and speak sharply and bitterly and resent- 
fully, we have sinned. If, however, we resist 
the temptation, control ourselves and speak pa- 
tiently and kindly, or keep silent, we have not 
sinned. So whatever the particular temptation 
may be, the same is true. There is no sin in 
being tempted — but sin begins the moment we 
yield to the temptation. 

It seems to me it should help us to resist 
temptation to think of the debasing effects of 
sin, and of the bitterness which it leaves in 
the life after it has been committed. 



YOUNG PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS 



Young People's Problems 165 



THE CHOICE OF AMUSEMENTS 

JUST how a Christian should treat the sub- 
ject of amusements is usually a difficult 
matter to decide. In general, I would say 
that Christians never need fear devoting them- 
selves too heartily or too fully to the Master. 
I say to my people that the question, rather, 
should not be, ' ' Can I do this and this and still 
be a Christian 1 ' ' but, ' ' How fully and devotedly 
can I serve Christ?" One need never fear go- 
ing too far in the way of self-denial and holy 
living. The danger lies the other way. 

At the same time I recognize the necessity 
for amusements. We must have recreation. I 
am sure that Christ approves of proper amuse- 
ments. The person who never finds time to 
laugh is going to grow very dull after a while. 
Both for physical and mental health it is neces- 
sary for us to unbend. Just what the amuse- 
ment shall be, however, is the question which 
requires careful thought. 

I have always said to young people that the 
test of amusements lies in themselves. I hold 
that Christians should live with Christ, should 
always walk with Christ in close fellowship, 
and that anything that breaks this communion 
or interferes with the sweetness of their re- 
lations with their Master is hurting them. 



1 66 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 



That is to say, for example, if they find that 
certain books fill their minds with thoughts 
and feelings which interfere with the sweetness 
of their fellowship with Christ, they would 
better not read these books. If they find that 
certain companions are drawing their minds 
away from Christ, and hindering them in their 
complete devotion to him, they would better not 
permit these companionships. If dancing starts 
thoughts and feelings which hinder one in 
prayer, it is better not to dance. If card-play- 
ing has a like injurious effect upon their spirit- 
ual life, they would better give it up. The first 
thing is to be a Christian of the Christ-type, 
and whatever interferes with this should be 
cut off and plucked out though it be as dear as 
a right hand or an eye. This evidently is our 
Lord's teaching. We are to go through life 
meeting all the experiences of life, business, so- 
ciety, friendship, reading, associations, as well 
as joys and sorrows, so as not to be hurt by 
any of these things. In fact, we are to make 
all things minister to our upbuilding of char- 
acter and the strengthening of our Christian 
life. 

Perhaps I have said all I should say in the 
way of answer to your questions. Christ him- 
self never gave detailed instructions, but in- 
stead laid down great principles by which his 
followers should live. 



Young People's Problems 167 

In your present condition of mind, after lis- 
tening to the revival sermons you refer to, I 
suppose your mind is open to see whatever 
there may be of harm to you in the things you 
have been trained to do. Whether you should 
revolutionize your own life now in this matter, 
you must decide for yourself. Paul says that 
' i he that doubteth is condemned. ' ' This means, 
as I understand it, that if we do a thing the ex- 
pediency and rightfulness of which we are not 
sure of, we have sinned, even though the thing 
itself be not morally wrong. If you are un- 
certain about the duty of dancing and card- 
playing and theater-going, it seems to me that 
all you can do is to deny yourself those pleas- 
ures. You certainly would not be happy in any 
of them if you are not entirely clear in your 
own mind concerning your duty. 

There is another element in the discussion, 
however, to which you refer. What will be the 
influence of your indulgence in certain amuse- 
ments upon other young people who look to you 
for example? You represent Christ — you can- 
not get away from this responsibility. The fact 
that you bear the Christian name makes you 
stand for Christ wherever you go. Even if 
these things are not wrong in themselves, what 
influence will you exert upon those who are 
just beginning the Christian life, if you indulge 
in them? Paul laid down the principle that 



168 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

the things that are perfectly harmless in them- 
selves must be given up by Christians, under 
the law of love, if the doing of these things 
causes a weak brother to stumble. I say very 
frankly that I have gone upon this principle 
myself in a great many things which I believe 
to be harmless but not necessarily duties. I 
have asked the question, "If I indulge in this 
or that, what will be my influence upon persons 
who look to me for example V 9 I cannot tell 
you what a pressure upon my own life the 
consciousness that so many people turn to me 
for counsel and for example has grown to be 
along the years. I receive letters every day 
from all over the world referring to my books, 
and asking questions about this or that. The 
fact that the writers treat me in this way, and 
get help from my words, sets me apart in a 
most sacred way and makes the obligation upon 
me to live a true and holy Christian life very 
strong indeed. There are those who look to 
you and to whom the failure of your life in 
their eyes would be a calamity. 

I have a friend who is a most devoted Chris- 
tian, one of the most active and useful Chris- 
tian men in this country. He has always in- 
sisted upon his right to have wine at his table 
for dinner. A great many of his friends with 
different views have remonstrated with him on 
the subject, but without avail. He holds that 



Young People's Problems 169 

he has a perfect right to take his glass of wine 
and to furnish it to his guests at his table, and 
that in doing so he is following Christ as closely 
as if he should take the extreme course on the 
other side. I know another man with precisely 
the same view as to his personal life, who for- 
merly followed the same rule with regard to 
wine on his table. But several years ago he 
had in his house for a good part of a year a 
guest, a young man, who had never been ac- 
customed to drink, but who accepted it when 
offered at the table. Before many months 
passed, this gentleman saw that the young man 
was losing control of himself, and was drink- 
ing too much. He saw at once the danger in 
which he was placing his young friend, and 
instantly put away from his table the wine. He 
has never used it since and says he never will 
use it. He made the renouncement because he 
saw that the drinking might harm his young 
friend. This, I think, is a very worthy giving 
up of a custom which he had practiced all his 
life. There was a reason for it, a strong mo- 
tive. I think, therefore, that the man has risen 
into a higher Christian life, not because he does 
not have wine any more at his table, but be- 
cause he made the sacrifice for the sake of 
saving others. 

I am sure that Christ is just as much dis- 
pleased with other forms of pleasure as he is 



170 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

with indulgence in the way of amusements. I 
know a man who is a very strict Sabbath-keeper. 
He will not ride on the street cars, he will not 
have his shoes blacked, he insists upon reducing 
his household cares, cooking, and so forth, to the 
very lowest possible degree. He rather prides 
himself on being a very strict observer of the 
Lord's day. Yet I know from painful personal 
experience that this man fails in honesty in 
many ways. He is always borrowing money 
and does not repay it. He is very careless 
about keeping his promises. He is most severe 
and most censorious in his judgment of other 
men who do not follow his views with regard 
to Sunday observance. I am sure, therefore, 
that his piety in the one direction is not a true 
index of his character. It is simply a bit of 
Pharisaism in him which makes his other fail- 
ures in duty and character all the more marked. 
We want a religion which fills the heart, ab- 
sorbs the life, and leads one into the sweetest 
fellowship with the Master and devotion to his 
service. The one duty which comprises all 
other duties is to love. Jesus said that all his 
disciples should love one another. By this men 
should know that they were his followers. No 
amount of church-going or attendance at Dor- 
cas meetings, or work in temperance meetings, 
or missionary meetings will ever excuse a 
woman from being gentle, sweet, loving toward 



Young People's Problems 171 

her husband and children and her servants — 
all her household. 

If you are ready to take the step which you 
suggest as possibly your duty, I think that you 
will be a very much happier woman. You will 
never be sorry for the self-denial you will prac- 
tice in giving up these indulgences which evi- 
dently, even to your own mind, are question- 
able. You ask me to help you. If you are 
ready for this consecration I should like to lead 
you in it. You are sure that you will do no 
wrong in cutting off these things from your life. 
You would have no less comfortable health at 
the end of the next year. You would be no 
less strong intellectually. You would be no less 
a noble and worthy woman. That is, while 
there may be a loss of pleasure at certain 
points, there will be no real loss, from your 
pursuing such a course. On the other hand, 
if you are ready to take this course, and do it 
heartily, through love for Christ and his cause, 
and through love for those who look to you for 
example, you will find rich blessing. The hand 
of Christ will rest upon you in new benediction 
and you will become richer in your spiritual life, 
will have more power in prayer, will have more 
peace in your heart, and your influence will be 
sweeter and further-reaching. 

Eemember, I am not saying that you should 
do this — your doing it because I would advise 



172 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

it would not be the right kind of course for 
you to pursue. If you are ready to do it you 
must do it because in your own heart you think 
that Christ wants you to do it. I do not say 
that you would not be a Christian woman if 
you continued your moderate indulgence in 
these amusements — I am merely saying that 
there are higher degrees even in Christian life. 
There are Christians, and those who are better 
Christians, and those who are the best Chris- 
tians. I read a letter which a Christian China- 
man wrote home from San Francisco some 
years since. He was telling his friends there 
about certain petty persecutions which he and 
his people were suffering from the white peo- 
ple. He said, "The worst of it is these people 
are Christians — but not Jesus-Christians." If 
you want to be a Jesus-Christian, the way is 
open for you, and I believe that you will never 
be sorry if you take the step into the higher 
experience and the nobler and fuller consecra- 
tion. 

TO ONE AMBITIOUS TO WRITE STORIES 

I "WISH you lived in Philadelphia that I 
might help you directly in your personal 
life and in your literary work. However, 
as this is not possible, I shall help you very 
cheerfully and gladly and as efficiently as pos- 



Young People's Problems 173 

sible at this long range. If you desire to have 
me look over the story which you have written, 
I shall take pleasure in doing so. It may be 
that I cannot do it very promptly, for I am 
very busy. Besides being an editor and busy 
in literary work every day of the week, I am 
also a pastor, with a church to which I devote 
all my evenings and my Sundays. I shall have 
to look over your story, therefore, in some lit- 
tle break between times, but I shall take pleas- 
ure in doing so for you because of my deep 
interest in your life. I do not profess, how- 
ever, to be very much of a critic. At the same 
time, I have learned to know pretty well what 
kind of story is apt to be interesting enough 
to get itself read; and also the kind of story 
that it is really worth while to have young peo- 
ple or others read. 

In our work there are two phases of testing. 
Every story must be good in a literary way. 
That is, it must be a piece of art, must be well 
written, must be bright, interesting and at- 
tractive, so that those who read the first para- 
graph cannot stop, but will be compelled to go 
on. In these days it is impossible to get people 
to read stories that drag or are dull. The sec- 
ond thing necessary is that there must be some 
helpful teaching in the story. I do not mean 
that preaching must be dragged in nor the 
moral tacked on, but that every story must have 



174 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

some motive, must teach something that will 
be helpful, inspiring, uplifting. This teaching 
must appear in the conduct, the disposition, or 
the outcome of the story itself, as I have said, 
and must not merely be attached as an " appli- 
cation" in an old-fashioned sermon. 

I am not trying to discourage you. I am sure 
that you have learned some things in life which 
it is worth while for you to teach to others and 
worth while for them to read. As you say, your 
time has been occupied in other things, in lov- 
ing ministry for Christ. You must not chide 
yourself, therefore, nor feel discouraged be- 
cause you have not had the opportunity to de- 
velop your literary work or to write much in 
the way of practice. Do not get the impression 
that your life is idly spent when you are doing 
such sweet service as you have been doing. 
Remember the commendation that Jesus gave 
to Mary — "She hath done what she could.' ' 
You bring your alabaster box to Christ when- 
ever you bring him your heart's love, what- 
ever the form of service may be. If you have 
time and opportunity for literary work, he will 
accept that when you have acquired the neces- 
sary preparation for it. If you have not time 
for this kind of work, but are required to de- 
vote all your service to others, know deep down 
in your heart that nothing in the world you 
could do will be so pleasing to your Master. 



Young People's Problems 175 



ENCOURAGEMENT TO COMMON 
SERVICE 

I LIKE to think we do not only our spiritual 
acts, but even the work of our common 
days for Christ ; that he accepts even the 
lowliest taskwork as holy service when we do 
it in his name and to please him. When Jesus 
said, referring to his Father, "I do always 
those things that please him, ,, he had in mind 
not only his preaching and miracle-working and 
the comforting of the people, but also every- 
thing else that belonged to his life. He had the 
same thought in his mind during the first thirty 
years, when he was a child, a boy, a young man, 
in Nazareth, when he was working at the car- 
penter's bench, or when he was engaged in 
other tasks and duties. You are just as much 
working for Christ during the hours when you 
are in the office, with your quick pen and your 
busy brain, as you are when on Sunday you 
take up your church work and do that. He is 
interested in all that you think or say or do, 
and is pleased when you do even the lowliest, 
commonest things in his name and conscious of 
his eye upon you. 

Evidently God has given you the capacity, 
as well as the opportunity, for doing sweet and 
beautiful things for the Master. This is the 



176 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

highest honor that could be conferred upon you. 
I think the work which will count for most in 
the end, when God reckons up the services of his 
children, will not be that of those who have 
wrought in conspicuous places, with the huzzas 
and plaudits of the world ringing in their ears, 
but the work of the lowly ones, toiling in 
obscurity, hearing no word of commendation, 
receiving no human approval, yet going on pa- 
tiently, sweetly, beautifully, day after day, do- 
ing their tasks just as cheerfully, as conscien- 
tiously, and as well as if they were working 
for the eyes of a million people. 

You do not know what possibilities of useful- 
ness and helpfulness God has put into your life. 
The way to develop these possibilities is just to 
go quietly and faithfully on, day after day, do- 
ing the things which come to your hand each 
day, and doing them all sweetly and well. God 
never leads us into large places by jumps. 
Heaven is not gained by sudden bounds. We 
must climb up step by step to gain the lofty 
heights. The way to reach the larger service 
is to do the humbler and lowlier as they come 
to us. The old motto, ' ' Doe ye nexte thynge, ? ' 
contains a world of wisdom. If we always do 
the next thing it will lead us to another next 
thing and this to another, and so on, each one 
lifting our feet a little higher, leading us into a 
little wider field. I love to think of the divine 



Young People's Problems 177 

guidance somewhat after the fashion of that 
verse in the Psalm which says : 

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, 
And light unto my path." 

You notice the word is lamp or lantern only — 
not a sun, a radiating hemisphere, but a little 
light we carry in our hand which brightens 
only one step at a time. 

You have your present duties and your pres- 
ent experiences. Be just the best, truest, noblest 
girl you can be, and the sweetest, most trusting, 
most loving Christian, doing the common task- 
work of these common days just as beautifully 
as if you were a princess, bearing great respon- 
sibilities. Thus God will make your life a bless- 
ing and lead you on to whatever larger things 
he may have for you to do. But I am sure that 
you will always keep in mind this truth, that 
the largest sphere in this world is not the sphere 
of publicity, where human applause is heard, 
but the sphere of service, where you can do 
good to others about you. 

WHEN OUE SEEVICE IS INTEEEUPTED 

I AM sorry to learn that you have been so 
ill, but i am glad to know that you are 
better again. I think you have been quite 
right in laying aside part of your work, for 



178 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

God's service is never meant to be unreason- 
able or exacting. Of course, there are times 
when we have to make very serious self-sacri- 
fices in doing the work of the Master, but, ordi- 
narily, we are not required to injure health 
or shorten life, even in the doing of the things 
which our heart prompts us to do. I am sure 
that other persons will be led to take up the 
burden in Sunday-school work which you have 
laid down. Meanwhile you want to rest. 

I believe that the true idea of Sabbath-keep- 
ing is that the day shall be a restful one in 
every way, leaving us in renewed strength and 
freshened in mind and invigorated in body for 
the work of the week which is to begin again 
Monday morning. A Sunday which does not 
leave us in this condition has ordinarily not 
been a well-kept Sunday. I hope that you will 
find your rest from your classwork conducive 
to your best health in every way, and that the 
work itself will not suffer through your laying 
it down for the present. 

I am very glad, indeed, to have given the 
least cheer and comfort to your friend. I am 
deeply interested in all persons who, like her, 
are bearing burdens and for whom others are 
not likely to care. Long since I chose as one 
of the aims of my life to help those whom no- 
body else is likely to help, to do the things 
nobody else would be likely to do, to turn my 



Young People's Problems 179 

thought toward the services which no other 
one would incline to take up. It has led me into 
many experiences of great gladness. Very many 
of my happiest experiences have been with those 
who seem to have been set aside by the world. 
If we are God's children, we need to be very 
careful lest we assume to be superior to some 
other one of our family who stands right be- 
side us. With God all are alike save that he, 
too, shows the deepest sympathy and the largest 
helpfulness to those who need the most. I am 
sure that the unappreciated people of this world 
are often the ones whom Christ appreciates 
the most. I am very glad to assure your 
friend, therefore, of my sincere personal friend- 
ship and my desire to help her in her life. Tell 
her to keep near to Christ, for in him she will 
always find sweetest sympathy and the strong- 
est helpfulness. . 

For yourself, in your condition of somewhat 
enfeebled health, let me speak also a word of 
cheer and encouragement. I am sure that you 
want to live a victorious life, not simply in the 
meeting of temptation, but also in the bearing of 
life's ills or infirmities. Long since I adopted 
two little rules which I have tried to carry out 
in my own life. One is never to be discouraged. 
The other is never to be a discourager. The 
first, some people say, is impossible, but I have 
not found it so. Of course, there are countless 



180 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

things in everyone's life which come as heavy 
burdens, as sorrows, as keen disappointments. 
Nothing would be easier than to yield to these 
disheartening things. Very much depends upon 
habit. If one begins to yield to them, one will 
keep on in the yielding and, by and by, life will 
be simply a continuous series of defeats. But 
far better is it to form the habit of never yield- 
ing to discouragement. I think we should treat 
discouragement as a temptation. It is the Devil 
trying to get us to confess our weakness, to con- 
fess ourselves beaten and thus to give up in the 
battle for strength and nobleness or in the doing 
of our duty. It ought not to be impossible for 
a Christian, therefore, to learn never to be dis- 
couraged. That is what Jesus meant when he 
said, "In the world ye shall have tribulations: 
but ... I have overcome the world," and "in 
me ye might have peace." In Christ we may 
always be overcomers — "more than conquerors 
through him that loved us." 

As I have intimated before this, victory must 
come through a habit of mind. We must begin 
to stand against the encroachments of discour- 
agement. The first and second and third times 
the battle may be hard, but the fourth time it 
will be a little easier. Then the hundredth time 
it will be quite easy. By and by one gets the 
habit so thoroughly ingrained into one's na- 
ture that nothing can break it or lead one to 



Young People's Problems 181 

yield to depression. It gives wonderful power 
to life to have won this victory over self. 

Then the other rule — never to be a discour- 
ager — is also important. Some people are al- 
ways discouragers. Wherever they go they 
make life harder for other people. They are 
always saying dispiriting things, things which 
terrify or alarm those to whom they speak, 
things, at least, which make life harder for 
them. We have no right ever to say to anyone 
anything that will make him less strong for his 
battle. 

I am very glad to be your friend. I appre- 
ciate all that you say about helpfulness which 
may come to us through friends we have not 
seen. I believe that friendships formed through 
one's written words may be quite as strong 
and as real, in a certain sense, at least, as those 
which are formed by personal intercourse. I 
assure you therefore of most kindly interest 
and of my earnest desire to help you in all your 
life. May God's best blessing be upon you. 

HIS TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY 

IN an incidental way I have learned that your 
twenty-first birthday is about now. I want 
to congratulate you upon the attaining of 
this important point in your career. To a young 
man twenty-one is a charmed number. You 



182 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

may be no stronger, no wiser, no richer-hearted 
the day after yon were twenty-one than you 
were the day before, bnt the line is an impor- 
tant one. You pass into manhood, and look 
back upon boyhood and youth as something you 
will not come to again. Let me congratulate 
you therefore upon attaining this important 
point. 

Let me also wish you the richest and best 
blessing. Every birthday should be a bright 
day in a Christian's life. We should stop and 
look upward, opening heaven's gates by prayer, 
that the light of God's face may shine down 
upon us as we rest a moment beside the mile- 
stone. It is my earnest prayer that upon your 
head, on your twenty-first birthday, the light 
of heaven may indeed shine, giving cheer and 
new warmth of heart and new inspiration 
toward "whatsoever things are true, whatso- 
ever things are honorable . . . whatsoever 
things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely. ' ' 

I have always been deeply interested in your 
life. You know this from what I have said to 
you already when I was your pastor. Let me 
assure you now that, while no longer your pas- 
tor, I am no less your friend. I shall always be 
your friend, and be eager to help you toward 
the best things. You have capabilities for large 
usefulness. I hope that you will go on growing 
in knowledge, in strength of character, in sweet- 



Young People's Problems 183 

ness of disposition, in all manly things, espe- 
cially in Christlikeness and in the service of 
Christ. 

We never reach the end of anything that is 
beautiful and good. You must not think that 
now, when you are twenty-one, you are a man 
in whom no further improvement can be made. 
As I said the other day to a young friend, so I 
say to you, you are just a bundle of bulbs, every 
bulb full of rich possibilities. It is your part 
to keep in the sunshine of God's love, under the 
culture of God's Spirit, so that all these pos- 
sibilities will burst out into beauty, into sweet- 
ness, into power, into fruit. 

Our truest and best friend is not he who 
makes us satisfied with ourselves, who flatters 
and pampers and pets us and makes us think 
that we are very great and very good ; our best 
friend is the one who makes us dissatisfied with 
our present attainments, and who inspires us 
ever toward better things. I want to help you 
to reach possibilities in your life which you have 
not yet reached. I assure you that they are in- 
finite. If you live seventy years, growing every 
day, you will find yourself, at the close, just 
beginning to know what life is, just beginning 
to discover the beauties, the possibilities, and 
the powers within you. Go on, therefore, grow- 
ing, working, serving, doing God's will. Let 
nothing discourage you. Make every difficulty 



Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

a stepping-stone to something better. Make 
every hardness and every trial an opportunity 
for the development of new strength. A soldier 
would never become a real soldier without 
battles. The drill ground is very good in its 
place, but it is only the struggles on the field 
which bring out the true soldierly qualities. An 
easy life, however fine its theories may be, is 
not a proved life ; it is only when one has met 
difficulties, obstacles, hindrances, and has mas- 
tered them, that one is really strong. 

Take heed, first of all, to yourself. It is in 
your own character that the greatest danger 
lies. You want to be a victorious man in every 
way over your own faults and feelings, over 
your own infirmities and weaknesses. You want 
to learn always to keep sweet, whatever the 
temptation to bitterness may be — always to 
keep sweet, and to grow more and more into 
Christlike grace and gentleness. 

It is a glorious thing to be a young man in 
these days. Just to live, and especially in 
this country of ours, is a great opportunity. 
The twentieth century is, no doubt, destined to 
be a century of marvels in human life in this 
world. If you are spared, it will be your duty 
to take an active part in the affairs of this 
great century. You do not know for what you 
are preparing yourself. Let me say to you, as 
one who loves young men, that you cannot be 



Young People's Problems 185 

too earnest in the preparation you are now 
making, nor too careful ; for upon your shoulder 
will rest vast responsibility, and in your life 
are hidden the possibilities of splendid achieve- 
ment. Make all you can of these quiet days. 
While you strive to gather knowledge the chief 
aim in your education should be to become 
thorough master of yourself, so that you may 
go out, by and by, to exert an influence for 
good wherever you go. 

I am glad that you are a Christian. There 
is a splendid opportunity, even now, in your 
college life, for true and manly Christian con- 
fession. There will be yet more splendid op- 
portunities in the days to come for Christian 
life and service. Keep your heart pure, keep 
your life clean, stay near the heart of Christ. 
I believe that God has a plan for every life. 
This means that he has a plan for your life, 
something he made you for, something he wants 
you to do in this world. What it is you cannot 
now tell. Where he will want you to stand in 
the thick of the fight before you, you cannot 
know. It is not best that you should know, now. 
You can best fill your place and fulfill God's 
purpose for you and carry out the divine 
thought for your life in the years to come by 
doing in the passing days, with all your might, 
the things God gives you to do. 

Make the most of your life ! God bless you ! 



QUESTIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE 



Questions About Marriage 189 



TO ONE IN DOUBT ABOUT MARRIAGE 

OF course, you understand that the ques- 
tion which you are asking so anxiously 
is one which no one but yourself and 
your friend can really and finally answer. The 
matter of marriage is a sacred one, with which 
no stranger dare intermeddle. Friends may 
give advice or may give impressions, or may 
throw light upon the character and disposition 
of one or the other of the parties, or may even 
venture to give opinions as to the wisdom or 
the unwisdom, the fitness or the unfitness of 
the marriage. But, after all, the two persons 
who are to live together are the only persons 
who can finally settle the question. Of course, 
God should always be taken into counsel, as 
he should be in all life's transactions. In no 
other relation in life do we need more the divine 
guidance. The marriage formula runs, ' ' Those 
whom God hath joined together," and so forth. 
The assumption is that the marriage is of God, 
not only that the ceremony is in his name, a 
sacred covenant, but that he himself has 
brought the two together and united their lives. 
I always fear, therefore, even to speak a word 
when asked such questions as you have brought 
to me, lest some sentence of mine might give 



190 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

a wrong bias either way. But, very frankly, it 
seems to me that you are in a morbid condition. 
Either, as you suggest, you have fallen into the 
hands of the tempter, and he is making a good 
deal of trouble for you, or you have formed an 
unwholesome habit of introspection which is 
working mischief in you and for you. I cannot 
see that the question you raise should ever have 
been raised. I have gone most carefully over 
your letter, and I cannot see that there is a 
particle of reason in any of these inquiries 
which seem to vex you so much. A nobler girl 
never lived than your friend. It was my privi- 
lege to know her while she was here, as a father 
knows a child. She came to me, not very often, 
but always with a child's confidence. We talked 
together, I prayed with her and sought to 
strengthen her for her work. She has told you 
all about this, no doubt. What I want to say, 
however, is that while I have known a great 
many young women in the Medical College, in 
other schools and in other walks in life, I say 
to you very freely, and without the least preju- 
dice, that I believe not one of them is nobler 
in heart and life than she. 

You ask me to make inquiry at the college for 
her exact standing as a pupil. This I could not 
do. It would not be a proper thing for me to 
ask the authorities. I have no very close rela- 
tions with the dean or secretary of the faculty. 



Questions About Marriage 191 

Besides, my asking the question would nat- 
urally raise suspicion, at least the thought that 
some doubt has been cast upon her standing by 
some one. You will see, I think, readily, that 
it is not possible for me to grant this request 
of yours. But, my dear friend, why should you 
want such figures? Is your love going to be 
influenced by the difference between eighty-six 
and ninety-six? I hope not. There is no ques- 
tion whatever that she stood well in her class — > 
I do not know whether she was first or second 
or tenth. I merely know that she stood high, 
that she was an honored pupil, not only among 
the faculty, but also among the students. She 
bore herself as a Christian in such a way as 
to win the confidence and the respect, not only 
of the other Christian girls, but of those who 
were not Christians. 

But I need not go over the points which you 
enumerate. It seems to me that, as I said be- 
fore, you are the victim of an unwholesome mor- 
bidness which is likely to do you harm in more 
ways than one. Perhaps this is not altogether 
strange. I believe that men are very often be- 
set by such feelings in settling questions like 
this. You are not the first person I have tried 
to help through similar experiences. But let me 
advise you to put away all these foolish and 
unfair questions and to meet the question like 
a man. 



192 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

God does not work miracles, to give us signs, 
as sometimes in the Old Testament days he did, 
to show us what our duty is. You will not find 
the fleece dry and the grass wet with dew, nor 
the fleece wet and the grass dry, as in the case 
of one of the signs given in the Old Testament. 
God has put into your mind a proper measure 
of good sense and wisdom, and he wants you to 
meet questions of this kind and of all kinds for 
yourself. There are certain occasions when 
prayer, it seems to me, is overdone. Some- 
times we are to rise and act. Dr. A. J. Gordon 
said that he had been clearly rebuked by God 
once when he was praying that the Lord would 
have compassion upon the lost world. He 
seemed to hear a voice saying: "I have had 
compassion upon the lost world. I gave my 
life for the world. Now it is your turn to have 
compassion, to give your life for the world." 
I believe very many prayers made by Chris- 
tians for the salvation of souls and for the ad- 
vancement of God's kingdom are little less than 
mockeries in God's sight, because God wants us 
to go forth and do the very things which we 
ask him to do. Now I believe that while prayer 
is always right, it is quite possible to pray, in 
a state like yours, until one prays oneself into 
deep darkness. It looks to me this way. You 
know her. You have known her for many years. 
You know that she is one of the noblest God 



Questions About Marriage 193 

ever made. You know that the man who can 
get her for a wife will be honored among 
men as few men are honored. Now, it seems to 
me, there is only one question remaining — Can 
you get her? I do not know how she, herself, 
feels upon this subject. I have not heard from 
her since your meeting. But it certainly seems 
to me that, knowing her so well and believing 
in her so fully, as you certainly have been led to 
do by your knowledge and experience of her, 
you are very foolish to waste time in asking 
any questions about her fitness to be your wife. 
I think that part is quite clear. The other 
question is one perhaps which you need to ask 
— whether you are a good enough man to be 
her husband. This she must help you to an- 
swer. If you think that she is good enough to 
be your wife, and she thinks you are good 
enough to be her husband, I think your lives are 
ready to blend, and that you may accept these 
mutual opinions and decisions as indications of 
God's guidance and approval. 

Perhaps I have said more than I should say, 
for, after all, I have answered your questions 
almost directly. But you understand that, after 
all, the question comes back to yourselves. 
There is some subtle thing in human hearts 
which, when people are perfectly honest, will, 
I think, almost invariably tell them whether 
they should come together or not. If you both 



194 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

have doubts on the subject, you had better stay 
apart. 



TO ONE ABOUT TO BE MAEBIED 

IT is good of you to tell me about your hap- 
piness. It makes me feel that I have been 
one of your best friends for a good while. 
Let me wish you the sweetest blessing in your 
wedded life. You remember that the first pub- 
lic act of Jesus was to attend a wedding feast. 
You remember, also, that we are told he was 
invited to the wedding. If he had not been in- 
vited, he would not have been there. He will 
be at your wedding, too, for I am sure that you 
will invite him. You remember, also, that Jesus 
did not cast a gloom over the wedding. Some- 
times it is said that ministers cause a sort of 
restraint upon social and festive occasions by 
their solemnity. Evidently Jesus did not cast 
any such shade over the wedding feast at Cana. 
Instead, he entered into all the gladness and in 
a time of great embarrassment helped on the 
joy by working his first miracle. Jesus is not 
a friend merely for sick rooms and times of 
sorrow — he is quite as much a friend for our 
most joyous days. Whatever other guests you 
may have at your wedding, be sure to have 
Jesus there. I am sure you will. 



Questions About Marriage 195 

I wish I might have a little talk with you be- 
fore your wedding. I should like to say some 
things to you about your life. Marriage is al- 
ways a serious matter, for, however well ac- 
quainted two persons may have been as lovers, 
when they enter the wedded life they have new 
lessons to learn, and sometimes they make mis- 
takes. I never can forget what a young wife 
said to me once, about a year and a half after 
her marriage. She had been sick with typhoid 
fever, and I was visiting her in her convales- 
cence. One day she pointed to a little card in 
a frame on her table, and said, "That little 
card saved my life." I asked her how, and 
she told me that when she was married both she 
and her husband were willful and persistent. 
As a result they had little tiffs from the very 
beginning, little tests of temper. One day at 
luncheon they had quite a serious difference 
about something and neither would yield. The 
husband rose from the table and went to his 
business in anger, slamming the door behind 
him, and the wife went upstairs to her room 
to cry — a woman's refuge in trouble. Her eye 
fell upon this little card which a child in her 
Sunday-school class had sent to her before her 
marriage. She had never noticed it particu- 
larly before, but now the question on the card 
went right to her heart, like a voice from 
heaven. The question was, "What would Jesus 



196 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

do?" She tried to put the question away, but 
it would not be put away. It demanded an an- 
swer. At last she faced it, saying, ' ' What would 
Jesus do if he were in my place just now?" 
Her answer was that he certainly would not be 
so willful and obstinate and show such temper 
as she had been showing. She fell upon her 
knees and told the whole matter to Christ. She 
saw that she had been acting unchristianly, that 
her Master would have borne her little trials 
differently altogether. 

"When her husband came home in the evening 
she met him at the door with a kiss, as if noth- 
ing had happened. After dinner she took him 
up to her room and showed him the card and 
told him the whole story. He saw how foolish 
he had been, too, how unlike Christ. They both 
fell on their knees and pledged themselves be- 
fore God that they would show no more fret- 
fulness and impatience and childish resentment, 
but would keep love in their hearts and be 
thoughtful, forbearing, forgiving. 

"So you see this little card has saved my 
wedded life. You are not surprised when I say 
that it is one of the most precious things in the 
house." 

Excuse this long recital, but I want to give it 
to you as a little suggestion toward the perfect 
happiness which I know you want to have in 
your home and life. 



Questions About Marriage igy 



WHEN HER ENGAGEMENT WAS 
BROKEN 

I WANT to say a few earnest words to you, 
my dear child. I want you to be just as 
brave and strong as you possibly can be. 
You have endured a great wrong. The young 
man has treated you in the most unchristian 
and unmanly way possible. I cannot conceive 
of anything very much worse in any man's 
conduct toward a woman. I sympathize with 
you in my deepest heart, as you know. But I 
would very much rather be in your place than 
in his. It is better, far better, to suffer a wrong 
than to commit a wrong. I am sorry for you,, 
but I pity him a thousand times more. His 
course has been so cowardly and so unjust and 
unkind that he certainly is an object of deep 
and sincere pity. You stand before God in- 
nocent of any blame. You have been a true 
and faithful woman in every way. You have 
treated him with the most perfect confidence 
and the truest devotion. You have never wav- 
ered for a moment in your faithfulness. You 
have a clear conscience, therefore, and can look 
into the faces of your friends without a shadow 
of shame. But in his case this is not true. He 
cannot look into God's face and make any ex- 
planation which will satisfy. So, as I have 



198 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

said, I would a thousand times rather be in 
your place than in his. 

What should you do in the matter f Of course 
you cannot help feeling the disappointment and 
you cannot help suffering. But I want to help 
you to rise to a feeling of strength and courage 
which shall declare your noble womanhood. He 
has proved himself entirely unworthy of you. 
Beally, while I sympathize with you in your 
disappointment, I am glad that you did not 
marry him last Monday. For a man who would 
treat a girl as he treated you in the month of 
April would have made a very uncertain kind 
of husband for her for the rest of the year, and 
for the years that come after, if he had married 
her. So you can thank God that the matter was 
broken off. Of course you feel the embarrass- 
ment at home among your neighbors, but every 
one of them will sympathize with you and will 
approve of your course. Everyone will say of 
you that the man was not worthy of you. So, 
my dear child, rise to the dignity of your finest 
and best womanhood, and determine that you 
will not yield to this disappointment, but that 
you will be brave and strong and independent. 

Do not blame God for it. Sometimes people 
talk about such troubles as if God had sent 
them. God never sends anything that is sinful. 
The whole burden of the wrong is upon the 
man who did it. What part, then, did God have 



Questions About Marriage 199 

in it? He did not interfere — he never does in- 
terfere with the freedom of our wills. He al- 
lowed the man to do the mean and base thing 
which he did. Now, however, God comes in 
and sides with you, and will help you to endure 
this disappointment and this wrong, and to get 
blessing and good out of it. You remember the 
story of Joseph's brothers. They sold their 
younger brother as a slave to get clear of him. 
It was a terrible wrong. God did not prevent 
it. But God took into his care the innocent and 
wronged boy and caused even the terrible in- 
justice and crime against him to work for his 
good. He was brought by and by to the high- 
est place in Egypt, and became the savior of 
the country from famine, even the savior of 
the brothers who had so terribly sinned against 
him. 

Your part of this matter, therefore, is to ac- 
cept the injury which you have received, and 
to put the whole matter into God's hands. Do 
not pity yourself. Do not allow yourself to 
yield to any weakness. Thank God that the 
disclosure came before you were married and 
not after. Ask God to take the whole matter 
into his hands and to bring out of it blessing 
and good in his own way. Then go quietly for- 
ward in your own duty, with cheerfulness and 
gladness, trusting everything with God. 

The problem of Christian life is not to avoid 



200 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

troubles, disappointments, sorrows, injuries, 
but in all these experiences to keep us free from 
hurt and stain. This trouble cannot do you 
any harm. It must not make you a less brave 
and beautiful woman. It must not affect your 
health. It must not make you a sad-hearted 
girl. You must come out of it still more cheer- 
ful and happy, true and strong as ever, more 
unselfish and sympathetic than ever before. 
You must give yourself to Christ now for what- 
ever service he has in mind for you to do. You 
were planning for a wedded life of happiness 
and brightness and beauty. If, for the present, 
this is denied to you, accept whatever comes 
in its place as better still than that would have 
been. Be a still more cheerful, happy, and 
songful woman than ever you have been before. 
Am I giving you a hard task? I am giving 
you just the task that Christ, your Master, 
would give you if he were talking to you. May 
God bless you. 

LOYALTY TO CHRIST INDEPENDENT OF 
ENVIRONMENT 

WITH regard to the matter of which you 
wrote so fully, I dare not say much. 
In affairs of the heart, especially in 
matters which relate to the expediency or inex- 
pediency of marriage, none can really and final- 



Questions About Marriage 201 

ly determine what the duty is save the persons 
concerned. But your letter shows that you are 
by no means certain yourself concerning duty. 
It seems to me that the step you have taken has 
made you very unhappy. Beading between the 
lines, as well as in the lines which you have writ- 
ten, it seems quite evident to me that you have 
a very warm affection for your friend. You 
cannot give him up readily. Indeed, you have 
not given him up, for you are thinking about 
reopening the case, or, at least, considering 
whether you ought not to seek the restoration 
of the engagement. 

I think one of the serious faults of your char- 
acter is your self-consciousness. You look too 
much into your own heart. There is too much 
introspection. You try to weigh motives and 
feelings and affections too minutely. You need 
to get away from yourself. 

Some of the reasons you suggest for drop- 
ping the engagement, it seems to me, amount 
to nothing. You speak of being afraid to live 
in X , because that city is not quite theo- 
logically up to your standard. In the first place, 
you do not know what it would be to you. 
That city has some advanced ideas, and so have 
most cities. The people there believe in them- 
selves pretty heartily, and the world laughs at 
them a little for this. But, after all, they have 
a good deal to be proud of. It seems to me that 



202 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

we need never fear the influence of environment 
on our religious life, if we are firmly settled 
ourselves as to our duty. Loyalty to Christ is 
the heart of religion — sincere friendship for 
him, friendship devoted, unwavering, strong 
and controlling. Kemember, however, that, 
while the heart of the matter never changes, 
the expression does change. Loyalty to Christ 

may not mean quite the same in X 

as it means in New York City. I do not mean 
that when we are in Eome we must do as the 
Eomans do. You remember that even Paul 
spoke about becoming all things to all men that 
he might win the more. He did not mean ever 
to sacrifice principle or to conform to the world 
in any sense ; he only meant that even true de- 
votion to Christ took on a different form in dif- 
ferent environments and conditions and cir- 
cumstances. When a country girl comes into a 
city she has to put away a good many of her 
country ways, adapting herself to the social life 
and customs of the city. This may make her 
no less a beautiful woman and no less true ; it 
is simply the same woman adapting her life 
to new conditions. Your religious life in New 
York City moves in certain grooves. Perhaps 

in X it might change its form a little 

and its mode of expression, remaining mean- 
while just as loyal to Christ and truth as it is 
to-day. Wherever we go we must seek to exert 



Questions About Marriage 203 

a wholesome influence for Christ. This we can 
do, not by conforming to the world ; neither can 
we do it by keeping up our little peculiarities 
and insisting that these are parts of our Chris- 
tian life. 

I think you understand what I am trying to 
say — that if you are loyal to Christ and con- 
tinue loyal to him, you need not fear the new 
environment in which you would find yourself 

in X . Besides this, every woman lives in 

her own home, and has but a certain measure 
of her life to live in the world outside. Do not 
be afraid of this. If you marry a man whom 
you love with all your heart, you will care very 
little for the external things. Together, your 
lives blending in sweet unity, you will work for 
Christ and pour forth a holy influence which 
shall make all the air sweeter about you. 
Then what a blessing you will be to all who 
know you! 

I have not given you any advice — I cannot do 
this. At least, I cannot advise you whether to 
seek the restoration of the engagement or not. 
I only tell you that I am quite sure you are not 
happy in your present condition with the sus- 
pended engagement. I think you will be wise 
to weigh the matter very carefully. But, if this 
engagement is restored, you must do so heartily 
and cheerfully. You must not complain and 
make the young man feel that you are doing it 



204 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

with only half a heart. No marriage should 
ever be entered into in this way. Whatever 
you do, do heartily, cheerfully, without any feel- 
ing of doubt or uncertainty. May God guide 
you. 



TO ANXIOUS MOTHERS 



To Anxious Mothers 207 



A BUSY MOTHER'S SPIRITUAL 
PROBLEMS 

IT is a joy to me to know that it was an ar- 
ticle of mine that led yon into serions liv- 
ing. The deepest and pnrest joy given to 
anyone in this world is the consciousness that 
we have been a real help to others in their lives. 
I hope that I may be still more help to you — 
a sort of pastor-friend to answer yonr ques- 
tions and to try to make some things a little 
plainer to you. You must not be afraid to bring 
me any perplexities or difficulties — it will al- 
ways be a pleasure to try to help you with any 
of them. 

Instead of answering your several questions 
in detail, perhaps I can reply to them better in a 
general way. The difference between human 
friendship and friendship with Christ is the ab- 
sence of the actual human touch which we have 
with human friends whom we know personally, 
and which we can never have with Christ. But 
really this is not of so much importance as one 
might think. A little child whom the mother 
had been trying to soothe when she said she did 
not want to go to sleep alone with her doll 
Happy, by telling her she had Happy and 
that Christ was with her, too, said, "I don't 



208 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

want Happy and I don't want Christ — I want 
somebody with a skin face." The child re- 
alized the difference of which I am speaking. 
To her the human touch was important. It is 
important to older people, too. There are 
times when a human touch means everything 
to us. It is a comfort to me that one of Christ's 
ways of helping is through human lives, the 
human presence, the human touch and voice. I 
sometimes say to my people that the only body 
Christ has now in this world is that of his fol- 
lowers. That is, Christ reaches people through 
you and through me. We are to be his hands 
to be his touch of comfort. We are to be his 
heart to give out sympathy and tenderness to 
all who are in need. 

You speak of what I said about feeling. I 
think I referred to your own expression, your 
desire to have more feeling in your relations 
with Christ. What you say is true, that when 
Christ's presence becomes a reality to us we 
do have feeling. Faith comes first — believing 
in the presence of Christ; then comes feeling, 
joy, the thrill of gladness. Many people at the 
Communion Table, for example, or in the rap- 
tures of their devotions, feel their whole life 
thrill with the love of Christ. In this case his 
presence is quite as real as it was to Mary as 
she sat at his feet, or to John, when he lay upon 
the Master's bosom. 



To Anxious Mothers 209 

All you say about feeling, therefore, is per- 
fectly true. I have read your letter through 
carefully, and I am very sure that your experi- 
ence with Christ is very deep. He is as actual 
a friend to you as your husband or as any other 
friend could be. I thank you for what you have 
written. It has done me good to read your let- 
ter. What you say about the presence of Christ, 
about friendship with him, about the joy which 
you experience in the assurance of his love for 
you, is most comforting indeed. 

I should like to say a word about your ques- 
tions in the closing pages of your letter. Let 
me say, first, that all our life, if we love Christ 
and are trying to follow him, is part of our 
Christian life: all of our work is work for 
Christ. You give me a sweet picture of your 
home life — a young mother with two little chil- 
dren at her knee. Your most important duty 
— even more important than church-going — is 
your duty of motherhood. God has given you 
these dear little ones that you may be to them 
everything that you can be. John B. Tabb 
writes : 



The baby has no skies 
But mother's eyes, 
Nor any God above 



But mother's love. 
His angel sees the Father's face, 
But he the mother's, full of grace. 



210 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

You ask whether yon ought not to be teaching 
Sunday school or working in Christian En- 
deavor, or doing other things for Christ. Never 
think for a moment that you are not doing 
Christian work while you are bringing up your 
children, living a sweet, beautiful life before 
them, pouring your love into their lives, mother- 
ing them, even though you have time for no 
work outside your home. 

An old minister wrote in his ninetieth year 
something like this — "God came to me first in 
my mother. He could not have come to me in 
any other way to bless me, so he put his love 
and tenderness and purity and grace and sweet- 
ness into my mother, and she revealed it to me. 
After a while I began to know God in other 
ways, learning to trust him and to lean upon 
him. Now in my old age my mother has gone, 
but God remains ; and what my mother was to 
me in my infancy God is to me in my old age. ' ' 
What I want you to see in these words is that 
the only way God has of getting to your chil- 
dren, of revealing his love for them, is through 
you. The Jewish rabbis used to say that ' ' God 
could not be everywhere, so he made mothers. ' ' 

I need not say another word in answer to 
your difficulty about not working for Christ. I 
would not say that you ought not to do any- 
thing else but care for children. If you have 
time, it would be very beautiful for you to do 



To Anxious Mothers 21 1 

other things., A young mother I know very 
well, with two children, one five and one very 
young, has been for several years one of the 
most efficient teachers of the little children in 
the kindergarten of our Sunday school. But 
she is a mother first, and then because she 
thought she had the time, and being, besides, a; 
trained kindergartner, she found the opportu- 
nity to do the will of Christ for other children 
as well as her own. But this is a matter which 
you must settle for yourself. Besides being a 
mother, you are a wife. You are God's mes- 
senger to your husband. I do not mean that 
you are to preach to him or give him all sorts 
of advice. As a rule, this is not the best way 
of doing good to a husband. But you can do 
a great deal for him by thoughtfulness and 
kindness. What I want to help you to under- 
stand is that you are to be to your husband an 
interpreter of Christ, of his patience, his holi- 
ness, his peace, his helpfulness, his serving. 

Then you speak about your outside life. Of 
course you must have amusements. A life with 
all work and no play gets very dull. You need 
every day a little recreation, something to take 
you away from your serious moods. You speak 
of watching a baseball game, and not saying a 
word about Christ, or even thinking about him. 
That is all right. It is impossible for us always 
to think of anyone. I do not believe that you 



212 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

literally think about your husband all the time, 
or your children. We cannot have two things 
in our mind at once. But we can be true to 
Christ and can show his love in our lives in 
whatever we are doing. That is what I meant 
by having Christ always in our thoughts, not 
only when we are praying, but when we are at 
our work or in recreations and amusements. 
Then, as for speaking to people about Christ, 
that has to be done very wisely. Very likely, to 
have spoken directly of Christ to anyone you 
saw at the game would have done more harm 
than good. There is a time for all things. Your 
duty, it seems to me, is that you should live 
Christ always. You represent Christ wherever 
you go. You are one of his interpreters. Even 
at the game you were preaching Christ by your 
happiness, your peace of heart, your gentle- 
ness, thoughtfulness, kindness. You are always 
to preach by your example. Now and then, 
whenever opportunity occurs, you are to speak 
a word for him. 

You say we are required to go out into the 
world, and to draw all men to Christ. Christ 
said to himself, "I, if I be lifted up . . . will 
draw all men unto me." He meant that by his 
great act of love, in giving his life for the world, 
he would so reveal the heart of God as to draw 
all men to himself. He wants us to go out and 
tell men that he loves them. By our influence in 



To Anxious Mothers 213 

the world we are to commend Christ. It is said 
of a devoted Christian minister that everywhere 
he went he made people fall in love with Jesns 
Christ. He did it not only by what he said, bnt 
even more by the beautiful influence of his life. 
People saw Christ in him, in the way he lived, 
in the love he showed to everyone, and they 
learned to love Christ in him. 



A MOTHER'S BURDENS 

I ASSURE you of sympathy in the sickness 
and care which you have had in your home 
during the winter. I hope that with the 
spring days you will all be well and strong 
again ; then it will not be so hard for you to live. 
I know well that a mother's tasks in the home, 
caring for her children, are not light. It is no 
easy thing to go on in the same routine, day 
after day, week after week, month after month, 
always keeping sweet, always having a shining 
face and a cheerful word, always strong to meet 
every question and perplexity and difficulty 
that comes to you. 

But I want to say a word of encouragement 
to you. The mother 's place is the highest place 
to which any woman can be called. When God 
puts into your hand a little child to care for, to 
guide, to teach, to watch over, to inspire and 



214 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

train for life, he puts upon you serious respon- 
sibility. But he also promises the strength you 
need and the help for every experience. One 
of Augustine's great prayers was, "Command 
what thou wilt, and then give what thou com- 
mandest." That is the way God always does, 
if we trust him and go forward in simple con- 
fidence. Whatever he commands us to do, he 
will help us to do. Nothing is impossible when 
we have Christ with us and in us. The Emperor 
of Japan sent to his army recently this word: 
"Your Emperor and your country expect of 
you the accomplishment of the impossible.' ' No 
doubt this little message has been in a large 
measure the inspiration of the wonderful hero- 
ism which the Japanese soldiers have displayed 
in the war. But Christ sends to us the very 
same message. He says to us, "Your Master 
expects of you the accomplishment of the im- 
possible.' ' General Armstrong used to say, 
"What is a Christian for but to do the impos- 
sible!" Anybody can do possible things, easy 
things. The trouble is that most people are 
content with doing just such things as these. 
But the Christian, with Christ back of him, is 
expected to do things that are impossible to 
other people. 

I want to help you to enter upon your days, 
whatever their care may be, with the confidence 
that your Master is with you and is going to 



To Anxious Mothers 2i£ 

help you to get through everything beautifully, 
victoriously, sweetly. 

I have read of a good woman who had a large 
family, who also was in plain circumstances 
and had to do all her own work and care for her 
children. She had to rise early in the morning 
to get her husband off to his work and then to 
get the children ready for school. One morn- 
ing, rising a few minutes late, she did not have 
time for her morning prayer. She hastened 
from her room to the tasks awaiting her. Every- 
thing went wrong that morning. She was ir- 
ritable and impatient. After all had gone away 
from the house and she was alone, she went up 
to her room with a heavy heart, discouraged 
and depressed. Taking up her New Testament 
to read her morning lesson, she turned to where 
it says of Jesus, "He touched her hand, and the 
fever left her. ' ' The words arrested her. ' ' If 
I had had that touch upon my hand this morn- 
ing before I began my day's tasks, the fever 
would have left me, and I should have gone 
through them differently. ' ' She never forgot 
the lesson. Every morning she would get her 
verse of Scripture and fall upon her knees for 
a few minutes to get the touch of Christ upon 
her heart. She was able then to go through all 
the trying and perplexing tasks and duties of 
her household without feverishness. 

You know what this means. There are other 



\ 



216 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

fevers besides those we have the doctor treat — 
fevers of impatience, of anxiety, of fretfulness, 
of discontent, of irritability. The tonch of 
Christ upon our hand always has cooling and 
refreshing influence. Drummond used to say 
that ten minutes spent every morning with 
Christ — yes, even three minutes, if they be 
spent really with him — change everything for 
the day. I am not preaching to you — but what 
you said about your life makes me free to write 
these things to you. May God bless you and 
make you very strong and very happy. It is a 
great thing to be able to live victoriously amid 
all the cares and frets and frictions and trials 
of everyday life. 



FOE A MOTHEE ANXIOUS ABOUT A SON 

IT is natural for a mother to be anxious about 
her son in such a case as you describe. 
But there are many things that should be 
carefully considered. College life is different 
altogether from the quiet sheltered home in 
which most of our boys are reared. Indeed, 
very few boys begin to think on religious mat- 
ters for themselves while they stay in their own 
homes. They have been brought up from in- 
fancy and through childhood and youth to be- 
lieve certain things, to accept certain doctrines 



To Anxious Mothers 217 

— not because they have reasoned these ques- 
tions out for themselves, but because they have 
been taught them by their parents and in the 
church which they have attended. 

Almost always, however, when boys go away 
from home and are placed in new conditions, 
amid new circumstances and influences, the first 
effect is apt to be a sort of breaking up of the 
old beliefs. They begin to think for themselves. 
They hear all kinds of expressions and opinions 
upon religious subjects. They meet those who 
profess to be skeptical concerning the great 
teachings of Christianity. They find others who 
intellectually hold to the old teachings, but 
whose lives are not in accordance with their 
beliefs. The whole atmosphere is changed. A 
new set of influences begins at once to work 
upon them. It is not surprising, therefore, that 
a great many college students have a time, at 
least, of doubt and uncertainty, passing through 
various phases of intellectual uncertainty. 

But this breaking up of the old conditions, 
this apparent drifting away from the old moor- 
ings, does not at all prove that the young men 
have gone away in any real sense, morally or 
spiritually. I have been a great deal among 
students. I have had two sons to leave home 
and attend college. I have conversed with hun- 
dreds and hundreds of young men and have 
been in correspondence with many more in this 



218 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

period of life. I never have a great deal of 
anxiety, therefore, concerning the changes that 
take place. Indeed, it is better there should be 
a change — that is, it is better that a young man 
should not take his religion merely from his 
mother or his father or sister, but should exam- 
ine and find the foundations for himself. No 
man is ever a strong, earnest or very useful 
Christian who has not fought over the ground 
for himself. He may believe fewer things at 
the end of a period of questioning, but those 
he does believe he will believe with a great deal 
more heartiness and reality. 

I do not know what the particular experience 
of Mrs. X's son in this respect was, but I sus- 
pect that it was that of nearly all students who 
attend Princeton or Yale, or any other good 
college. I would not have one moment's anx- 
iety, therefore, concerning his spiritual state, 
especially, as you say, he did not drift away 
into immorality. He was thinking for himself, 
and I believe almost certainly that he stayed 
close to Christ. After all, this is the vital thing. 
If you will read the New Testament very care- 
fully, you will find that our Master called all 
his disciples to become personally attached to 
him, to believe on him, to obey him, to follow 
him, to cling to him, whatever the experience 
might be. This was the one essential qualifica- 
tion for a disciple. It was not doctrines, not 



To Anxious Mothers 219 

the observance of ceremonies, not the identifi- 
cation with certain forms of belief — his per- 
sonal attachment to the Master was all that was 
required. 

You say that young X seemed to lose 
interest in the activities of religious life. Ee- 
member that a college church is different alto- 
gether from a home church. There is not the 
same opportunity for active participation in re- 
ligious affairs. The men are very busy if they 
are diligent and faithful, and have little time 
for meetings and special religious work. Be- 
sides, there is but small opportunity for such 
activity. I am not surprised, therefore, that 
this young man seemed not to have had the 
same earnestness that he had when at home. 
Everything was different. All the influences 
were against it. Now and then a student does 
manifest a special religious zeal through all 
his college course, but there are very few of 
these indeed in any institution, especially in 
such universities as Princeton. 

I have gone over this ground from the college 
student's standpoint to help you to understand 
that the course of young X was not by 
any means an exceptional one, and did not by 
any means indicate that he had drifted away 
from Christ. If he had gone into an evil life, 
neglecting his duties and wasting his substance 
and his time and everything he had in evil, then 



220 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

there would have been a serious reason for 
anxiety. But if his life were true and pure and 
faithful, even if he did not maintain the activi- 
ties of his home life in his college days, I think 
there is no reason to fear. 

Besides, the mother must not lose her con- 
fidence in her God. She gave her boy to him in 
infancy and brought him up for God. Every 
day, I am sure, she held him up in her hands 
before God in prayer. God is a covenant-keep- 
ing God, and does not forget his promises. 
While her boy was away from the mother's 
influence God was taking care of him, keeping 
him daily in the secret place of the Most High, 
under the shadow of the wings of Jehovah. Let 
her not doubt God's faithfulness in the matter. 

Then let her remember also that the mercy 
of God is infinite. He is very patient with our 
weaknesses, our infirmities, our faults and 
failures. 

Let her remember also that many a boy at 
home, who is kept under the influence of the 
home life and the church life, and seems to be 
everything that is good — is not so good in his 
secret life as people imagine him to be. Col- 
lege is not the only place where men drift away 
from Christ. Many drift away in heart and in 
secret life even when they seem to be keeping 
in association with sacred things. 

Let the mother put her trust in God, there- 



To Anxious Mothers 221 

fore, and not be afraid. Christ loved her son 
far more than she loved him. He died for him, 
and having died for him he did not let him 
drift away. Eemember the parable of the Good 
Shepherd who goes after the one wandering 
sheep until he finds it. Remember the assur- 
ance that Christ loves unto the uttermost. 

I believe that this precious boy who is so 
dear to his mother 's heart and about whom she 
is now anxious is with Christ to-day, living 
and serving nearer the throne, called home early 
that he might begin a new and a better service 
in Christ's own very presence. Possibly the 
reason he was called home may have been be- 
cause heaven is a safer place for him than this 
earth could have been amid the temptations and 
the trials which he was called to meet. 



THE HARD THINGS OF LIFE 



The Hard Things of Life 225 



BURDENS 

WHENEVER God puts us in any place 
he does so intelligently, with some 
purpose of good for us. There are 
some lessons he wants us to learn which we 
can learn in no other place quite so well as 
where he sets us. Or there are duties to do 
in that particular place and we are the best 
person to do them. At least, we should be satis- 
fied that we are never in our place by accident, 
but that God has placed us where we are for 
some good reason. 

Then when we have special difficulties or hin- 
drances or obstacles or handicaps we have the 
same comfort, that these are parts of God's 
plan for helping us. He is always setting us 
lessons to learn. The lessons are not always 
easy, either — sometimes they are very hard. 
But if we accept the divine teaching and take 
up the duties which he gives to us in our hard 
place, we shall always find the best blessing and 
the sweetest comfort. 

While we cannot, therefore, change the life 
conditions or circumstances of our friends, we 
can sometimes help them to do the work a little 
more bravely, to live a little more sweetly in 
the hard conditions, and to make a little more 



226 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

of their own life where they are. That is all I 
hope to do for you. Emerson says, "Our best 
friend is he who makes us do our best." Our 
best friend is not one who lifts the burdens and 
makes life easy for us. This is nearly always 
a mistake. If a child comes home from school 
with some hard problems or hard lessons and 
her big sister sits down and does the examples 
or works out the lessons for her, she may think 
that she has been very kind, but she has not. 
She has hurt the child, robbing her of the new 
wisdom and strength which she would have 
found in struggling through the lessons herself. 
So it is with our friends when we do things for 
them or lift away their burdens for them. We 
take from them the opportunity of growing 
stronger and brighter and better. 

The way in which I want to help you, there- 
fore, is not by changing your condition, which, 
I suppose, I cannot do, but by trying to help 
you to be stronger and braver, gentler and 
sweeter, more earnest and more determined to 
do your duty. With regard to yourself — I may 
sum up all my wish for you in a single sen- 
tence — "Always keep sweet." If you always 
keep love in your heart, patience, gentleness, 
self-control, forbearance, however hard the con- 
dition may be, however unjust your treatment 
may seem to you to be, you will always be vie- 



The Hard Things of Life 227 

torious and thus will grow into strength and 
beauty. 

An old promise reads, " Cast thy burden upon 
the Lord, and he shall sustain thee." Every 
burden you have you may cast on the Lord, that 
is, may lay it on him in prayer and by faith. 
But notice that God does not promise to lift 
the burden away — all he promises is to sustain 
you, that is, to give you strength to do the work, 
to bear the burden, to meet the difficulty, to 
master the hindrance or the obstacle. 

I am sorry you are to have such a busy time 
the next few days, but I hope that you will be 
made strong for it. Keep quiet and restful in 
your own heart and the work will not be half 
so hard nor the exhaustion half so great. It is 
fretting and worrying that gives people nerv- 
ous prostration and breaks them down — it is 
hardly ever work that does it. If we would 
learn to work quietly, with the peace of God in 
our heart, without any fret, we would never 
break down. 

You ask if it is true that "no Christian 
ever loses control of himself for an instant.' ' 

That is probably true of the Christians who 
have gone to heaven. I am sure it is not true, 
however, of the Christians who are still in this 
world. Of course, the aim of all Christian life 
is never to lose self-control, even for an instant, 
but in my rather long experience of life I have 



228 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

not yet seen the person who had quite attained 
this perfection. Moses seemed to have come 
very near to it. For forty years he did not 
lose his meekness or his patience. But at last 
even he, in some moment of great stress and 
strain, spoke unadvisedly, losing his temper 
and growing angry. Even John, the beloved 
disciple, once wanted to call down fire upon a 
village which refused to receive his Master. 
Please take this, therefore, as the definition of 
a Christian in the matter to which you refer : 

First, every Christian desires to have perfect 
self-mastery. That is what Christ wants every 
one of us to attain. This is one of the fruits 
of the Spirit. See Eevised Version, Galatians 
5 :22, 23. 

Second, this matter of self-control is an edu- 
cation. It begins the moment one accepts 
Christ and starts to follow him. But the proc- 
ess is slow. While we are always to try to con- 
trol ourselves, turning to Christ for help at 
every point of temptation, probably we shall all 
of us find, even at the end of a long life, that 
we have not yet attained, neither are we yet 
perfect. 

Third, therefore a Christian is one who is 
striving earnestly and faithfully to keep perfect 
self-mastery. However often he may fail, he 
is not to be discouraged, always looking for- 
ward, and determining that sometime and 



The Hard Things of Life 229 

somewhere, although years and years hence, the 
lesson must be learned and the victory won. 

"He came to my desk with a quivering lip; 

The lesson was done. 
'Dear teacher, I want a new leaf/ he said, 

'I have spoiled this one/ 
In place of the leaf so stained and blotted, 
I gave him a new one all unspotted, 
And into his sad eyes smiled, 
'Do better now, my child. 7 

"I went to the Throne with a quivering heart; 

The old year was done. 
'Dear Father, hast thou a new leaf for me? 

I have spoiled this one/ 
He took the old leaf, stained and blotted, 
And gave me a new one, all unspotted, 
And into my sad heart smiled, 
'Do better now, my child/ " 



MASTERING THE BLUES 

DO you know that life is all a bundle of 
habits? We form habits of doing this 
or that, and after a while the habit be- 
comes fixed. I read of a stage driver who had 
been holding his lines so long that his hands 
were bent like hooks and could not be straight- 
ened out. If you hold your eyes in a certain 
position — looking always the same way — day 
after day, year after year, it will not be very 



230 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

long before you will look always in that way, 
and cannot really look any other way. The 
same is true of your thoughts. If you allow 
your thoughts to run along certain lines, dark 
lines, a month, a year, two years, by that time 
you will have worn a track like that which a 
wheel makes in the road, and you cannot get 
your thoughts to go in any other way. 

You have been allowing your mind to run for 
a good while along sad lines, lines of depression 
and discouragement. You have been thinking 
you were sick, or had this trouble or that trou- 
ble. So long have your thoughts been running 
along these channels that now they have washed 
a track for themselves, and it is almost impos- 
sible for you to get them out of that track. 

Now I want you to be brave enough to under- 
take a pretty serious piece of work. You have 
got to change the direction of your thoughts, 
your feelings, your moods, your words. If they 
are allowed to run as you have been letting 
them run for a good while you will always be a 
gloomy sort of person, without any enthusiasm, 
w^ith poor health, or at least health which you 
imagine to be poor. For our imagination, just 
like our thoughts, forms grooves and runs in 
them. What I want you to do is to begin the 
minute you read this letter to tear your 
thoughts away from these dark lines, these 
gloomy tangles, these hopeless things, and get 



The Hard Things of Life 231 

them to going in the bright ways, happy ways, 
into rippling song and cheery laughter. It is 
not hard to do this for one minute when some- 
body is talking to you. You know very well, 
too, at that time that the thing you are doing 
that moment is just what you ought to do all 
the time. What I want you to undertake to do 
is to say that you will positively and per- 
sistently and unalterably turn away from every- 
thing dark and gloomy and cheerless for, we 
will say, a few months, to begin with. That 
is, till the first of October next you are going 
to turn yourself into new channels altogether. 
You are going to turn your eyes toward the 
hills, the blue skies, and refuse ever to let them 
drop again to the ground. You are going to 
keep your thoughts up — not thinking once about 
yourself, not allowing yourself to brood for one 
minute about something you had, or think you 
had, yesterday, or last month. You are going to 
resolve that you will not allow yourself to speak 
a single discouraging or cheerless or pessimis- 
tic word, but are going to talk only brightly, 
cheerfully, bravely, happily. I put on the cor- 
ner of your little note last evening the lines : 



"Look up and not down, 
Look out and not in; 
Forward and not back, 
And lend a hand." 



232 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

I want to give you a bit of experience of my 
own. When I was a young fellow I was in the 
habit of being moody and easily discouraged 
and depressed. I was always imagining I was 
sick. I thought I had consumption or liver 
trouble or lung trouble, or some other one of 
a thousand diseases. At least I was always act- 
ing like a baby in those matters. 

One day I woke up, got wide awake, and saw 
that I was simply making a fool of myself. I 
saw perfectly well in the vision of good sense 
which came to me that day that if I went on 
as I had been doing I never would be of any 
use in the world, would make nothing of my life, 
would be a most unpleasant fellow among other 
people. 

Then and there I settled it that this thing 
must not go on a single day longer. I resolved 
that I would undertake to master myself and 
turn all the tides of my life in other directions, 
wholesome directions. I resolved that I would 
never get discouraged, no matter what might 
happen, that I would not allow myself to say a 
disheartening word or let a single discouraging 
thought into my mind. I resolved that I would 
put away all gloomy imaginings concerning dis- 
eases in myself. In a word, I would look up, 
not down, out, not in, forward, and not back, 
and begin to lend a hand to everybody any- 
where about me. 



The Hard Things of Life 233 

I had a long and very hard fight. Every lit- 
tle while I would feel myself drifting back again 
into the old miserable way of thinking about 
myself, of imagining I was sick, and getting 
blue and depressed. But I would wake up again 
and shake off the feelings, determined never 
to be conquered. The result was, to put it as 
briefly as possible, that in two or three years 
I had so completely mastered myself that I 
never for a moment allowed anything to dis- 
courage me or to make me feel blue or dis- 
heartened. When I did not succeed in doing 
what I wanted to do I tried again. If I really 
did not feel very well I fasted a little, and got 
my stomach in better condition, and that cured 
the unpleasant thing. For a good many years 
now I think I have mastered the habit so well 
that I am optimistic in everything about my- 
self and everybody else. I think I have learned 
to live along the lines of the best possible 
help. Of course things get tangled sometimes 
in my work and affairs, but I do not allow my- 
self to fret over it, knowing that all will come 
right if I do my part. People come to me 
with their burdens and perplexities and their 
sorrows. Sometimes it is a terrible mix-up 
which they bring to me, but I never let myself 
get frightened at any number of perplexities 
or trials. My mission is to get these people 
right again. 



234 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

I have told you this about myself. I never 
have written this out for anybody before. But 
it is a real chapter in my life, which you see, 
I think, meant a good deal to me. You have 
just the same chance that I had. You can let 
your life drift along in the old lines, if you de- 
sire to do so, but you know what the end will 
be. Or, a thousand times better, you can do 
as I did, you can turn your eyes away and 
lift up your heart and your voice and shut the 
doors forever on discouragement of every kind, 
put away all thought of ill health or anything 
else of the kind, and go forward to splendid 
health, to fine manhood, to achievement worth 
while. 



HELPED BY HINDRANCES 

IT is not easy in some ways for you to meet 
life. It looms up before you like a moun- 
tain, and it seems to you that you never 
can climb to its summit. But you need have 
no fear of life, however it may seem to pile up 
its difficulties before your face. All you have 
to do is to put your hand in the hand of Christ, 
and to let him lead you step by step. I be- 
lieve that God has a plan for every life; 
that he knows what he wants each one of his 
children to do for him in his world. George 



The Hard Things of Life 235 

Macdonald speaks of this somewhere, and 

says: 

To have been thought about by God, born in 
God's thought, and then made by God, is the dear- 
est, grandest and most precious thought in all 
thinking. 

It certainly is a thought of comfort and up- 
lifting to know that yon were thought about 
before you were born, and that God sent you 
into this world to do some particular thing, to 
fill some particular place. This is not fatalism. 
While God has this plan and purpose for your 
life, you have to fulfill it and carry it out your- 
self. That is to say, there is something that 
he wants you to do, something that he wants 
you to attain in character and life and influ- 
ence. But the reaching of this ideal is some- 
thing which you yourself will have to work out 
in detail. 

Then let me say also to you that the things 
that may seem to be hindrances to you, per- 
haps insuperable hindrances, are the very 
means by which you are to reach the divine 
thought for you. We know best when we are 
under pressure, when we are carrying burdens, 
when we have responsibilities, and when tasks 
and duties fill our hands. All you have to do 
is to accept your place as one of God's chil- 
dren, to know that he is planning for you, 
thinking about you, and then to put yourself 



236 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

in perfect accord with God in striving to be- 
come what he wants you to become, and to do 
what he wants you to do. 

You speak of the loss of money. Perhaps 
some day you will thank God even for this loss. 
I have had many experiences with young peo- 
ple in such cases. A young woman came to me 
to tell me that she was even grateful for the 
loss of fortune which occurred some fifteen 
years ago. She said to me that if their money 
had not been taken away from them she would 
have been simply a spoiled child, petted and 
pampered, with no strength of her own, and no 
place amid the world's activities. But the tak- 
ing away of the money made it necessary for 
her to take up life's burdens for herself. She 
became first a stenographer, and then an assist- 
ant secretary in a leading institution for young 
people, and for several years past has been reg- 
istrar in the institution. Thus she has risen 
to noble womanhood and a position of great 
influence, with countless opportunities for help- 
ing other young people in their lives. What 
she thanked God for was the blessing which 
had come in her own case from the loss of 
money. Instead of money she has now train- 
ing and strength, and noble womanhood, and 
the opportunity for large service. 

I give you this merely as a word of encour- 
agement. 



The Hard Things of Life 237 



IN GEEEN PASTURES 

I AM glad that you are so comfortable and 
so hopeful, that you have the assurance 
. of your physicians that you will get well 
and strong again. This certainly is very en- 
couraging. While you trust the physicians and 
follow their prescriptions you want to make 
earnest prayer each day that God will use the 
physicians and bless their medicines and 
means, for, after all, there is only one Healer. 
Your life is in God's hands and, whatever skill 
physicians may have, the blessing of God is 
necessary to make it effective. I am going to 
pray for you a great deal, that God will use 
all the skill of your doctors and put his power 
into the means that are employed, that you 
may get strong and well again and have a 
long life of service. It will add very much 
also to all that can be done if you will keep 
your heart at perfect peace, without any anx- 
iety or fear, trusting God and not being afraid. 
I would like to help you into the sweetest 
possible trust. You speak of your religious 
life as not having given you quite the comfort 
that you would like to have from it. Let me 
say to you, my child, that religion is simply 
friendship with Jesus Christ. He is your 
Friend, he loves you, he gave himself for you, 



238 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

he lives and is with you all the while. This 
is the first thing for yon to remember. You 
cannot see him, but no human friend can come 
so close to you as Christ is all the time. No 
human friend loves you, no mother, no hus- 
band, so tenderly, so warmly, as Christ does. 
Then the best human friends are sometimes 
out of your reach. You cannot have their com- 
panionship always. But Christ is never out 
of your reach, never away from your side, but 
always is with you, closer than the air you 
breathe. 

Your part is to believe this and to accept 
the love and friendship of Christ. You know 
what it is to let a friend into your heart, to 
believe in him, to trust him, to become more 
and more confiding and trustful as the days go 
on and as your experience deepens. I want to 
help you to realize the friendship of Christ 
in just the same way. There is a verse which 
says, "Whom not having seen ye love." If 
you believe that Christ loves you with an in- 
finite, everlasting love, and that he is always 
with you, and then simply abandon yourself 
to that love, let him into your heart, open every 
door of your being to him, learn to trust him as 
a little child trusts the mother when lying in 
her bosom, you will find that Christ will become 
more and more real to you. 

It is not church-going and Bible-reading and 



The Hard Things of Life 239 

doing certain religious acts that make up a life 
of faith. After all, as I have said, it is noth- 
ing but close personal friendship with Christ. 
It is my earnest prayer to God that you will 
realize this more and more. You ask why 
God has laid his hand upon you in this way, 
and you suggest that probably he has some les- 
son to teach you. God always has lessons to 
teach us in every experience of our life. I can- 
not tell what the lesson is in your case. But 
I am sure of this, that you can make this time 
of waiting a time for learning trust in God, 
for learning patience, and for the bringing of 
your soul into sweet accord with God's will. 
There is a phrase in the Twenty-third Psalm 
which I like to quote — "He maketh me to lie 
down in green pastures.'' Sometimes we do 
not care to lie down, to rest, but would rather 
go on in our own way. But God knows that 
we need the rest and so he makes us lie down. 
But notice that it is in "green pastures." 
That is, wherever God calls us to rest there is 
blessing about us, and we need not be afraid. 

SONGS IN THE NIGHT OF PAIN 

I KNOW well that it is hard not to get dis- 
couraged when your sufferings continue 
so long, and when it looks as if you will 
have to carry the burden a good while longer. 



240 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

But my deep interest in yon which draws me 
very close to you makes me want to help yon 
a little if I can. I should like to put into your 
heart good cheer and encouragement. This I 
am sure the Master himself would seek to give 
you if he were writing to you to-day as I am. 
I like those words or Christ's," Your heavenly 
Father knoweth that ye have need of all these 
things.' ' It is a great comfort to you to know 
that nothing is hidden from him, that he under- 
stands all about your condition and circum- 
stances and knows how hard it is for you to bear 
all that you are now called upon to bear. But 
the fact that he knows helps to make you 
strong. You say, "Yes, he knows, but he does 
not change things, does not relieve me of my 
sufferings. ' ' Well, my child, this is precisely 
where your faith comes in. You know that he 
could change all this if he knew it were best for 
you. The fact that he does not relieve you of 
your suffering shows that there is some mission 
which he wants that suffering to work in you, 
some lesson he would have you learn while en- 
during it, some new power of usefulness and 
service which he would have you attain through 
these long experiences of trial. Have you read 
' ' The Sky Pilot ' ' 1 If you have, do you remem- 
ber the beautiful story of Gwen's Canon? This 
is one of the finest bits of writing on Christian 
faith that I have read for a long time. Gwen 



The Hard Things of Life 241 

could not understand why God loved her and 
yet allowed her to suffer so. Yet she under- 
stood well why her father did not interfere 
with the doctors when they hurt her so in their 
treatment. She said her father let the doc- 
tors do it because they hoped to make her 
better again. There was the whole reason for 
her. 

The reason is not the same for you, for you 
love Christ and are trusting sweetly in his love. 
Yet there is a phase in this story which seems 
to come in beautifully for you too. You re- 
member that Jesus told Pilate when he boasted 
that he had power to crucify him or release 
him, that he could have no power at all unless 
it were given him from above. That is to say, 
it was God who gave Pilate power to cause 
Jesus such humiliation and suffering. The 
Father could have easily taken away that 
power, but, that his Son should do his work of 
love in the world, Pilate received the power 
to send him to the cross. The thought is that 
nothing hurtful can come into our lives if we 
are God's children, without the Father's per- 
mission. He never gives such permission with- 
out some good reason. He never allows us 
to suffer through anger or vindictiveness on 
his part. There is always a mission which the 
suffering has to fulfill. 

This is a very round-about way to say that 



242 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

some day you will understand all this experi- 
ence of yours as part of God's wonderful love 
for you. I must not attempt to give God's 
reasons. Yet I can suggest some things that 
possibly he may mean for you in this long trial. 
One is that he has something very beautiful 
and very sacred for you for the future — some 
sweet service you are to render, some beautiful 
thing you are to do, and he permits you to suf- 
fer that you may be trained for this work or 
mission. You remember that even Jesus 
reached his highest place through pain. He 
suffered that he might be able to do more for 
us as a Saviour. 

Another possible reason is that God wants to 
make you a blessing right now in your own 
church and to those about you who see you and 
watch your life. Nothing means more to the 
world than the patient endurance of trial by 
God's children. If you were to complain and 
find fault and fret in your suffering you would 
fail to be the beautiful witness for Christ that 
you wish to be. But the very fact that you 
endure it all so sweetly, so patiently, so cheer- 
fully, even so songfully, makes your life a 
blessed influence to all the people of your 
church and to your friends who come to see 
you from time to time. 

Then there is something else which means a 
good deal. I am sure that those who suffer 



The Hard Things of Life 243 

patiently and quietly, acquiescing in God's 
will, are being prepared for the highest place 
in heaven and for the most beautiful and no- 
ble service there. You remember that little 
picture in Revelation of the company which 
John saw, wearing white robes and bearing 
palm branches in their hands. They seem to 
be a specially happy company. One would think 
that they had been earth's happy ones, and 
that they had not known suffering and trial. 
But when John asked who they were the angel 
said, " These are they that come out of the 
great tribulation. ' ' That is, they are the 
earth's suffering ones. Because of their suf- 
fering and trial in this world they occupy the 
highest places in the heavenly kingdom, wear- 
ing white robes, waving palm branches, and 
telling of their victory over pain and suffer- 
ing. 

I have written you this long letter to say that 
there is a secret of undiscourageableness which 
may be yours and which is yours. I know it 
is hard to suffer day after day, but your Father 
knows and still permits it to continue, because 
he would make you a sweeter woman, a more 
noble witness for him, because he would pre- 
pare you for larger service and helpfulness, 
and because he is fitting you for the higher 
life that lies beyond. Do not be afraid. Keep 



244 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

on singing your songs of joy whatever your 
experience of pain may be. 



BLESSINGS IN HAED THINGS 

IT seems to me that there is no reason why 
you should look back over your relations 
with your husband with any regret. You 
say that your love was almost idolatrous. You 
speak of your adoration being so satisfying 
that you even absented yourself from church 
services that you might be together. Of course, 
that was not a wise thing to do. I think it is 
well for us, whatever our other interests may 
be, always to keep God in the first place, and 
never neglect our duty to him. Of course, I 
understand that two persons together may 
honor God in their conversation and occupa- 
tion, perhaps quite as much as if they were 
to sit side by side in the church. I do not know 
how you spent your time together on Sun- 
days. But, whatever the facts may have been, 
let me say to you that it is unwise now for 
you to waste a moment or a particle of strength 
in regret. The true way to deal with our life 's 
mistakes is to confess them to God and then to 
gather wisdom from them by which we may be- 
come more earnest and faithful in days to 



The Hard Things of Life 245 

come, avoiding the repetition of these mistakes 
and pouring all the strength of our penitence 
in a new fervor and gladness of living. Noth- 
ing yon can do will change anything you have 
done. It is unwise, therefore, to waste a mo- 
ment in weeping over it. If your conscience 
tells you that it is not what you should have 
done, God is very gracious, and, if you ask 
him, he will sweetly and graciously forgive 
you. 

With regard to the present, there is only one 
duty, and that, it seems to me, is very plain, 
as plain as the path before your feet at noon- 
day. It is to return at once, with all earnest- 
ness and fervor to Christ, to reconsecrate your 
life to him, and to enter immediately upon the 
duties which he may give to you. I should 
certainly go to the Communion Table next Sun- 
day. God forgives all that is past if you ask 
him, and then for the future he will give you 
strength and wisdom and grace, that you may 
live more sweetly. 

Life is meant to be cumulative. Each day 
should be better than the day before. We 
should get lessons from the experiences of 
every hour, and carry these lessons forward, 
getting them into our life. You have been a 
learner all these years, and, therefore, every- 
thing that has happened has been a part of 
your education and has left its impress upon 



246 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

your life. Simply dedicate yourself again to 
Christ and let him be your Comforter and your 
Friend. 

Let me say another word also about your 
sorrow. You have given me your confidence, 
and I want to be as a pastor to you, a true and 
faithful and loving pastor, entering into your 
life with the most complete sympathy. Sorrow 
is always full of danger. Some people resist 
and refuse to submit to it. The result is that 
their lives are hurt by it. They come out of 
it with a little less sweetness and sensitive- 
ness of spirit, perhaps embittered toward God, 
possibly less sweet toward people about them. 
The true way to meet sorrow is with sweet 
acquiescence in God's will, not resisting, but 
yielding to him. This does not mean that we 
shall not feel our griefs — we cannot help this; 
God never blames us for our pain of heart and 
even for our very deep sorrow. But, however 
poignant the affliction may be, God wants us 
to keep close to him in tender love, without 
fear, without complaining, without bitterness. 
Then the sorrow does us good. Our life is en- 
riched by it. 

I see in your correspondence no evidence 
that your grief has hurt you. Indeed, I think 
it has helped you. So far as you have writ- 
ten to me, you have not said a single word which 
showed anything but acquiescence and sweet 



The Hard Things of Life 247 

submission to God's will. But I want to help 
you still more in the same direction. Accept 
sorrow and know that God has made no mis- 
take. We do not know what our Father's plan 
for us is. I am sure of this, that every sor- 
row which comes to us brings to us within its 
dark folds a blessing, a gift of God, a new 
revealing of God's love. The loss which you 
have mourned so deeply no doubt has in it some 
gain, some blessing. Often the things which 
we prize the most highly, without which we 
think we cannot live, God knows would, in the 
end, not be the best for us. It is not well even 
to ask questions — it is better just to say, "My 
Father knows best, and I will submit my life 
to him : I will leave all in his keeping and abide 
by his ordering." 

What I have said about your trial applies to 
all trials, to all hard experiences in life, to all 
sorrows. We are never told that we shall have 
an easy time in this world. Christ did not 
pray for his disciples that they should be taken 
out of the world; fhat is, away from the world's 
persecutions and enmities and oppositions, but 
that, staying in the world, they might be kept 
from the evil. Life's problem is not to escape 
severe things, even cruel things, but, whatever 
the experiences may be, to keep our own heart 
gentle and sweet all the while. 



248 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

SONGFUL ACCEPTANCE OF GOD'S WILL 

I AM glad to write you, for it seems to do 
you good. It has been a great pleasure 
to me to come into your life and add a 
little strength. Perhaps I have already quoted 
to you Miss Dickinson's lines in which she says 
that if we can help one fainting, into his 
nest again, we shall not live in vain. I sup- 
pose the suggestion came from the story of 
Mr. Lincoln, who, rinding one day in the grass 
beside a hedgerow a callow bird, picked it up 
gently and walked along the hedge until he 
found the nest out of which the bird had fallen 
and then restored it — put it back into the nest 
again. It was a beautiful thing for the great 
man to do. Even to help back into its place a 
bird which had fallen out is enough to redeem 
a day from waste and make it beautiful. I am 
sure it is very much worth while to help a dis- 
couraged soul, a life tossed out of its nest of 
quiet and peace, back into its place aguin. 
What I want to do for you, my child, is to help 
you back into the sweet rest, the quiet peace, 
the holy confidence which are the privileges of 
every true Christian, You have been disturbed 
by your sorrow — it has tossed you out of the 
best for the time. Life seemed to be broken 
up for you very much. But you cannot get 



The Hard Things of Life 249 

back the experience out of which you have 
thus been taken. Whatever is inevitable in 
our life must be the will of God for us. Since 
you cannot hope to have restored to you that 
which death has taken out of your hand, you 
must believe that it is the will of God for you 
that you should go on without these joys. 

Another thing is also very sure — it is not 
necessary that this sorrow should really hurt 
your life. God allows no experiences to come 
to us in which we cannot live victoriously and 
sweetly as Christians. I am sure, therefore, 
that he is able to give you grace to live without 
your friend, to glorify him, to serve him. It 
becomes the will of God for you, therefore, to 
adapt yourself to the new experience. You 
had planned to live with your friend. God's 
plan leaves the friend out of the earthly ex- 
perience. Take God's plan, but do not feel that 
your real joy is to be hurt thereby. That is 
to say, God is able to make up to you the loss, 
and help you to live richly and beautifully as 
you are. Accept, therefore, the will of God 
and devote yourself to it, not perfunctorily, 
not as by mere constraint, but cheerfully, song- 
fully, believing that God's way is the best, al- 
though you cannot see that it is. 

If you read the eighth chapter of Eomans, 
from the twenty-eighth verse to the end, you 
will find some very sweet and precious truths 



250 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

which will be like rocks for you to lean upon, 
like clefts in which you may hide from the 
storm. 



IN THE HANDS OF GOD 
I. To an Anxious Father 

I HAVE thought about your daughter a 
great deal since you told me about her 
illness some weeks since. She has been 
often in my prayers that God would bless her, 
comfort and strengthen her, and if his will be 
so, to spare her life longer. You do not say 
anything about her condition, but I infer from 
what you write that she is quite feeble. I shall 
write a little note to her to-day. 

Let me thank you, however, for your very 
cordial words, and assure you of loving sym- 
pathy in your time of anxiety. God has led 
you and your family through valleys of shadow. 
But I know that he has never once failed 
to lighten the valleys for you by his own lov- 
ing presence. Those words in the Twenty-third 
Psalm, "Yea, though I walk through the val- 
ley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: 
for thou art with me," are applicable not only 
to the experience of dying, but quite as much 
to experience of sorrow in life. It has always 



The Hard Things of Life 251 

been a comfort to me to think of that valley 
as it lay in the mind of the oriental shepherd. 
You know the reason he often led his sheep 
through these gloomy defiles. It was not be- 
cause he wished to make the way hard for 
them or to give them anxiety and dread. The 
reason was that somewhere on the other side 
he knew of a bit of green pasture to which he 
wished to lead his flock, in which they might lie 
down and on which they might feed. The only 
way, or at least the best way, to get to the pas- 
ture was to pass through this dark gorge. 

The meaning of this in our lives is very 
beautiful. God does not take us through glooms 
and shadows to terrify us or to make the bur- 
den of the way heavier for us. There are sweet 
blessings to which he would lead us, but they 
lie over on the other side and cannot be reached 
safely but by going through these dark pas- 
sages. Every time, therefore, the Lord leads 
us into any dark valley we may be sure that 
he is taking us to something very sweet and 
beautiful on the other side. It has been so 
in your case. When you have passed through 
these shadowed ways you have always come to 
new blessings, new joys, new comforts, which 
have compensated in a measure for the gloom 
and the shadow. 

May God comfort you in this time of your 
anxiety. 



252 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 



II. To the Sick Daughter 

I have had you in my thoughts many times 
since I learned of your illness. It has been 
very sweet to speak your name to God in 
prayer again and again, asking him to bless 
you, comfort you, strengthen you, to make the 
way bright and beautiful for you. I am sure 
that this prayer has been answered. You have 
been sick through the winter, but you have had 
Christ very close beside you. 

There is a very sweet verse in one of the 
psalms which says: "Into thine hand I com- 
mend my spirit.' ' Our Lord used these words 
when he was about to die on the cross — "Into 
thy hands I commend my spirit.' ' They are 
good words, therefore, to use when one is about 
to leave this world. That is all death is to 
a Christian — merely breathing the spirit out 
from the body into the hands of the heavenly 
Father. There certainly can be nothing to 
dread in such an experience, and this commit- 
tal is a very beautiful one indeed. But David, 
in writing these words, did not think of death, 
but of life. He commended his life into the 
hands of God. He could not see what lay be- 
fore him. He knew not what the experiences 
of the coming days would be. But he knew 
that God understood it all and would care for 



The Hard Things of Life 253 

him. So lie committed everything to him. This 
is what you have been doing with your life 
all these years. This is what you do every 
morning when you wake — commit yourself into 
God's hands for the little day, with all its ex- 
periences, knowing that God will keep you and 
bless you. 

It is very sweet to think of the hands of God. 
How gentle they are! The gentlest hands 
sometimes give pain, but the hands of Christ 
are always infinitely gentle. I remember read- 
ing of an Indian child who came in one day 
from the field with a hurt bird. Showing it 
to her grandfather, she said: "See! I have a 
bird. It is mine." The old man asked her 
where she got the bird and she told him that 
she had found it in the wheat field. Its wing 
had been hurt, and it could not fly. He bade 
her carry the bird back to the place where she 
had found it and lay it down on the ground. 
"It is not your bird," he said. "It is God's 
bird. If you keep it it will die, but if you take 
it back and leave it in God's hands it will live. 
God knows best how to heal a bird's hurt 
wing." I have always thought of this as a 
beautiful illustration, showing the difference 
between human hands and God's hands. Our 
friends love us and they do all they possibly 
can for us. But in all the world there are no 
hands, not even a mother's, that are so gentle 



254 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

as God's, or in which our lives are so safe. It 
is very sweet, therefore, to trust ourselves, 
with all our pain and weakness and suffering, 
in the gentle hands of Christ. 

These hands are not only gentle, but also 
strong. They are able to do for you every- 
thing you need to have done. These are the 
hands that have made all things in the uni- 
verse and which upbear all things. Surely 
they are strong enough, therefore, to hold you 
up and to keep you ever in safety. 

But I must not write more to you — you are 
not strong enough, I fear, to read or to hear a 
long letter. Let me, therefore, assure you of 
loving interest and of much prayer these days 
that God may sweetly bless you. 



HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT 

THE best help I can give you is to try to 
remove the wrong impression which you 
evidently have about the cause of your 
sufferings. Never for one moment must you 
feel that they have come upon you, as you 
suggest in your letter, because of any lack in 
your own life. You remember that sweet prom- 
ise which says, "Whom the Lord loveth he 
chasteneth. ' ' You remember also that in the 
parable of the Vine and the Branches our Lord 



The Hard Things of Life 255 

says that the branches which bear fruit are 
the ones which he purges and prunes that they 
may bring forth more fruit. If we interpret 
our sufferings and trials by this divine teach- 
ing, as we must do, our conclusion will be that 
the branches which have no pruning, which 
endure no cutting, are the ones which should 
raise the question whether they are indeed 
pleasing God. In the same parable, Jesus said, 
"My Father is the husbandman. ' ' This is to 
me a wonderfully sweet truth — that in all life 's 
disciplines, however severe they may be, it is 
our Father who is pruning. We are always 
safe when we are in his hands. 

It is unwise to try to find out why God sends 
afflictions upon us or allows affliction to come 
upon us. In the first place, we must remem- 
ber that there are physical causes which God 
ordinarily works no miracles to prevent or set 
aside. There is a physical heredity which goes 
on. Our physical sufferings or diseases or 
weaknesses, or whatever they may be, may 
have come down to us, perhaps not from our 
immediate progenitors, but possibly farther 
back. Even this, however, must not be looked 
upon as in any sense a visiting of sin upon 
those who are afflicted. I wish to say that God 
does not ordinarily interfere with natural 
processes in the development of our lives. It 
is scarcely right, therefore, for us to say that 



256 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

God sends to us every suffering, every disease, 
every trouble which conies into our life. In- 
deed, it is better not to raise the question at all 
of whence or why or how, but when we find 
ourselves in any experience of trial, to put 
our life with its burden into the hands of God 
and let him care for us and do for us that which 
is best. 

For yourself, let me simply say this, that 
even your sufferings may become a great bless- 
ing to you. Indeed, I am sure they have be- 
come a blessing to you already in more ways 
than you can possibly understand. Take your 
reference Bible and find Psalms 55 : 22. You 
will see that in the margin the word "gift" is 
suggested as a substitute for the word "bur- 
den." Instead of reading "Cast thy burden 
upon the Lord," it may mean "Cast thy gift 
upon the Lord. ' ' That is, your burden is God 's 
gift. No matter how it came, as it is now in 
your life it is a gift of God to you. The suffer- 
ings may be accepted by you as a part of God's 
will. Being a gift of God it is, therefore, some- 
thing good. I do not mean that the disease 
in your limb is good, but that your suffering 
infolds, wraps up, incloses, something good, a 
gift, a blessing from God. This blessing may be 
patience, or some other sweet lesson which God 
wants you to learn. But suppose you would 
read II Corinthians 12:1-10. In these verses 



The Hard Things of Life 257 

Paul tells of a wonderful experience which he 
had. He had some great suffering which he 
called "a thorn in the flesh." He does not say 
what it was, but evidently it was some physical 
pain, some think epilepsy, some think a trouble 
with the eyes, some think a nervous affection. 
No matter what it was, it was very painful 
and seemed to interfere with the apostle's use- 
fulness. Three times, therefore, he besought 
the Lord that this thorn in the flesh might be 
taken away. But the answer was, "No; keep 
it. My grace is sufficient for thee: for my 
strength is made perfect in weakness." Then 
Paul learned this wonderful secret, that the 
physical suffering which was so hard to bear, if 
accepted by him, brought him a corresponding 
measure of the strength of Christ. As you 
read on you find the apostle saying that he 
rejoiced now in his infirmity, because the power 
of Christ thus rested upon him. That is, the 
suffering, keen and terrible as it was, brought 
Christ nearer to him, brought more of Christ's 
strength into his life, and thus fitted him for 
larger spiritual usefulness. You can apply this 
to yourself. You have asked God to remove 
your thorn in the flesh and he has not done it. 
But let me assure you that the words which 
the Lord spoke to Paul he speaks to you also. 
His grace is sufficient for you. His strength 
is made perfect in weakness. That is, you will 



258 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

get more of Christ's help in your life because 
of the suffering which you are enduring than 
if the suffering were to be taken away, you re- 
ceiving then less of Christ's help because need- 
ing less. 

It seems to me the secret of a happy life 
lies in two or three very simple things — per- 
haps in two. Jesus said, "Seek ye first the 
kingdom of God, and his righteousness ; and all 
these things shall be added unto you." This 
leaves us but one thing to do — our duty, the bit 
of God's will that comes to us each day. Then, 
for the other things, we are to trust, simply to 
trust, not only for bread and raiment, but for 
everything. You have learned this lesson, and, 
as you say, the peace of God fills your heart. 

You must not think that you are not doing 
any good while unable to take your place 
among the active forces of the world. I think 
very often those who think they are doing the 
least may really be doing the most. It is a 
great thing to let one's life witness to the 
power of God's grace in just such quietness 
and confidence as you have in your heart. All 
those who come near to you receive a benedic- 
tion from your life. In place of complaining 
and murmuring, and showing discontent, as 
many people do even in time of health and with 
all physical environment of the happiest kind, 
you show in your quiet confidence and sweet 



The Hard Things of Life 259 

trust that you are God's child, and that God 
is supporting you, that you have meat to eat 
that the world knows not of, that you have 
sources of blessing which men cannot see. This 
alone is a beautiful thing. Then your prayers, 
rising to God day by day, are a power in the 
world. We underestimate altogether the influ- 
ence of prayer. We think we can do good by 
working, by talking, by going restlessly every- 
where. We forget that we can do yet more 
good often by keeping still and lifting up 
our hearts to God in prayer. I think that one 
reason why God calls some people apart, out 
of the busy field, into a quiet place, is that he 
wants them to be intercessors, helping by 
prayer, exercising the ministry of interces- 
sion. 

I think you get the lesson. Don't be afraid. 
Rest quietly and confidently in the hands of 
Christ. Leave everything with him. If you 
are still to bear this trouble, bear it quietly, pa- 
tiently, submissively, trusting Christ 



COMFORT FOR THE BEREAVED 



Comfort for the Bereaved 263 



WHAT IS THE EEASON FOR SORROW? 

REFERRING to the question which you 
start in your letter, the reason for sor- 
row, let me say* to you first that I am 
not averse to raising such questions. I do not 
say it is wrong or unwise for us to do so. In- 
deed, we cannot help asking questions if we 
have any brains at all. A person who has no 
questions does not do much thinking. My 
thought is, however, that there are a great 
many questions which are unanswerable, and 
that the best way for us to treat such questions 
is to leave them for further light and intelli- 
gence. I preached last Sunday on the words 
of Peter in Luke 5: 5, "At thy word I will." 
I tried to show that the one simple duty of 
Christians is to obey Christ's biddings, what- 
ever they may be. I spoke specially of the 
fact that the reason for many of these biddings 
cannot be understood by us at the time, but 
that whether we understand them or not, even 
if the whole matter is full of mystery, our duty 
is the same — always to obey the Master's call. 
' ' At thy word I will. ' ' Peter could not see any 
use in casting the net again after they had been 
fishing all night without avail. Still this did 
not affect his obedience, either in fact or in 



264 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

spirit. I referred in the sermon to many ex- 
periences in life in which we are called to enter 
a mystery of trial or sorrow, where it seems 
to us the end can only be disaster, but that in 
all such cases our duty is the same — "At thy 
word I will." 

Let me say further, referring to the ques- 
tion more directly, that it is one I suppose 
never can be answered. I read last night a 
sermon by Eev. R. J. Campbell, of London, on 
the subject of God's omniscience and omnipo- 
tence and of human free agency and responsi- 
bility. Mr. Campbell takes the ground that the 
hard and severe things which come to people's 
lives have their mission, a mission which we 
cannot always interpret, but which our faith in 
God makes us sure that he understands. Noth- 
ing is without purpose. 

"The very law that molds a tear 

And bids it trickle from its source, 
That law preserves the earth its sphere 
And guides the planets in their course." 

Even where we do things to others which 
are wrong, the very wrong has its blessing for 
those to whom it is done, although this does 
not free us from the guilt of the wrongdoing. 
Joseph's brothers, for example, committed a 
terrible crime against him when they sold him 
into Egypt, but God used that very crime to 



Comfort for the Bereaved 265 

forward his own great purposes, not only for 
Joseph's promotion, but for the good of the 
people of Israel and of the world. Those who 
put Christ to death committed the crime of 
crimes, and yet their very crime brought about 
the redemption of the world. 

I suppose something of the same reason ap- 
plies to all the matters to which you refer, the 
things which seem to be cruel and terrible in 
nature. We may say that God does not inter- 
fere with natural law in ordinary cases, and 
this is true. As a rule, he does not save peo- 
ple from physical suffering in disease. He does 
not stop fire and flood in their devastations. 

All we can say, I suppose, in the matter is 
that whatever may happen, we know that God 
is love. He is redeeming the world, lifting it up 
from its degradation into beauty and heavenli- 
ness. For example, the war which is now be- 
ginning may work great blessing to the whole 
East. It would seem that nothing but war will 
ever change the policy of Russia or open up its 
vast country to let the gentle and sweetening 
influences of Christianity into its life and its 
homes. Chicago was swept by a terrible fire 
more than thirty years ago, but Chicagoans 
now tell us that the fire was the greatest bless- 
ing that ever came to their city, for out of the 
ruins of the town there rose a new city, a thou- 
sand times more beautiful than the one which 



266 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

was destroyed. The same is true of the Bos- 
ton and Portland fires. The same will be true, 
no doubt, of the Baltimore fire. Evidently, 
therefore, there is a law running through all 
the providence of God by which good is brought 
out of evil and blessing out of suffering and 
new life out of sorrow. 



GOD'S COMFOET IN SORKOW 

I CANNOT tell you how glad I am that my 
letter to you had its help and comfort in 
the time of your sorrow. My heart went 
out to you in very deep and sincere sympathy. 
It was my earnest prayer that God might com- 
fort and strengthen you. I am glad to know 
that he has done so. Yet even the comfort of 
God does not take away the pain of sorrow nor 
the pang of loss. Sometimes people think that 
they have not been comforted because they still 
feel as keenly as ever the bereavement which 
took so much out of their life. It is not possi- 
ble to comfort in this way. Sorrow is part 
of our life. God does not give back to us the 
loved ones for whom we mourn. Nor does he 
make our hearts less tender and sensitive. In- 
deed, the Christian is made even more tender- 
hearted by the love of Christ and feels more 
keenly than the world's people feel the pain 



Comfort for the Bereaved 267 

of sorrow. The comfort which God gives, how- 
ever, comes in the way of great and blessed 
truths which give a new aspect to our sorrows. 
There is the truth of immortality — that our 
loved ones who have gone from us have gone 
into a larger life, a sweeter, truer, happier, 
more blessed life. Nothing is lost in death — 
nothing but the things which cumber our hearts. 
Love is not lost, memory is not lost, the beauti- 
ful things of character are not lost; these all 
stay in the heart and life of the loved one who 
passes out of our presence into the presence 
of God. 

Another of God's comforts is in the assur- 
ance of his own love. I suppose that one rea- 
son sorrow comes to us, taking out of our life 
the things which are so dear to us, is, that we 
may love God more and see more beauty and 
grace in him. Still another comfort of God 
comes through the assurance that even sorrow 
brings blessings. Some day you will know what 
rich gifts came to you in the days of your deep 
grief. God sends many of his sweetest bless- 
ings to us in the time of our sorrow. He wraps 
up in its dark and forbidding form the gentle 
things which make our lives richer, which make 
us stronger, braver, truer, and more Christ- 
like. 

One of the great blessings of sorrow is the 
preparation for ministering to others. One 



268 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

of the most remarkable words about sorrow is 
in one of Paul's Epistles, where he says that 
God comforts us that we may comfort others 
with the comfort wherewith we ourselves have 
been comforted. Like all other things, com- 
fort is not given to us for ourselves alone, 
but given that we may pass it on to others in 
their sorrow. You have received God's com- 
fort; now you are ordained of God to go into 
the world to be a comforter of others. Look- 
ing back upon your girlhood days, you see how 
many lessons you have learned, not only in 
college, with your books and teachers, but in 
your life of love as a wife and as a mother. 
Now God has set other lessons for you — les- 
sons of pain and suffering. But they are still 
lessons meant to make you a stronger, truer, 
larger-hearted woman, and to fit you for serv- 
ing others. You are now set apart to a min- 
istry of comfort to other mothers. I wonder 
if you have read the following lines? They 
seem to me so full of truth that I want to quote 
them to you. 

"Because of one small, low-laid head all crowned 

With golden hair, 
Forevermore all fair young brows to me 

A halo wear; 
I kiss them reverently. Alas! I know 

The pain I bear. 



Comfort for the Bereaved 269 

"Because of dear but close-shut, holy eyes 
Of heaven's own blue, 
All little eyes do fill my own with tears 

Whate'er their hue; 
And motherly I gaze their innocent, 
Clear depths into. 

"Because of little pallid lips, which once 

My name did call, 
No childish voice in vain appeal upon 

My ears doth fall ; 
I count it all my joy their joys to share 

And sorrows small. 

"Because of little dimpled hands which now 

Close folded lie, 
All little hands henceforth to me do have 

A pleading cry; 
I clasp them as they were small wandering birds 

Lured home to fly. 

"Because of little death-cold feet, for earth's 

Rough roads unmeet, 
I'd journey leagues to save from sin or harm 

Such little feet, 
And count the lowliest service done for them 

So sacred — sweet !" 

I am sure that you have no intention of al- 
lowing your sorrow to hurt your own life. That 
is always the danger of sorrow, that in our 
grief and disappointment we lose something of 
our zest for life, something of our interest in 
doing God's will. Your baby's work is done, 
and God took him home. But your work is not 



270 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

done, and your hand must not slack, even for 
sorrow. 



COURAGE IN BEREAVEMENT 

NOW in your time of bereavement, when a 
new set of cares comes to you, I want 
to keep very close to you and to help 
you by all that strong friendship can give and 
do. If you were nearer to me, that I could 
see you now and then, I would be very glad 
to help you in closer personal ways. But al- 
though you are far away, I want to help you 
in any way possible. Let me, therefore, as- 
sure you, first of all, of sincere sympathy and 
faithful remembrance. But do not forget, my 
child, that the burden which now rests upon 
you demands the very best that you have in 
yourself to give. That is to say, you must not 
get discouraged ; you must not allow your lone- 
liness to make you timid or to impair your 
energy. Now is the time for all the strength 
you have, the strength of your noble woman- 
hood, the strength of Christ that is in you. Do 
not forget that if you are faithful yourself, 
in all ways, your Master will always stand be- 
side you, and in loving helpfulness. Discour- 
agement is fatal to strength. It makes one un- 
fit for duty. You must never yield, therefore, 



Comfort for the Bereaved 271 

a moment to it. Indeed, you have no reason 
to yield to discouragement. You are young 
and strong, with a training for life which 
makes you valuable to others and makes your 
service also valuable. You will have no trouble 
in caring for yourself, while you are well and 
strong. 

I know that this is not the most serious thing 
about your condition — I mean the necessity for 
work. That which is hardest for you is the 
loneliness. Loneliness is always a heavy bur- 
den. It also has its temptations — at least, it 
makes the life open to temptations of many 
kinds. You must try and master it as far as 
you can. Eemember this — your husband's 
work was done and God called him away. You 
did your duty to him as a loyal and faithful 
wife most beautifully. Now your hands are 
free for other duty. One of Miss Havergal's 
poems is called ' i Free to Serve. ' ' It tells of a 
mother, I think, who had cared for a sick child 
for a long time, giving all her thought to it. 
The task was very hard and the burden heavy. 
At last the child was lifted out of her arms 
into the Good Shepherd's arms. The mother 
now felt the great burden of emptied hands. 
They had been so long used to helping, caring 
for her child, that, when there was nothing for 
them to do, they hung heavily at her side. Then 
came to her the inspiration that she was "free 



272 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

to serve"; that is, her hands, which had been 
trained to all gentleness and delicate helpful- 
ness in caring for her child so long, were now 
free — not to be idle, but to take up other work 
for the Master. 

You will understand how this applies in your 
own case. Your hands are now "free to 
serve.' ' You are not free to indulge in sad 
memories. Life waits for you and beckons you 
to large and noble service. 

Just yesterday I clipped from a paper a 
little incident telling of "God's way with a 
soul." It tells of a woman who had a beauti- 
ful girlhood, rich in all that wealth and love 
could give. Trouble came by and by and every- 
thing was swept away — parents, husband, chil- 
dren, wealth. In her anguish she prayed for 
death, but death was refused to her. Every- 
thing was done by her friends to divert her 
mind, but to no effect. One night she had a 
dream. She had gone to heaven and saw her 
husband coming toward her. She ran to him 
full of joy. To her terror, no answering joy 
was shown in his face — only surprise and al- 
most indignation. 

' ' How did you come here ? ' 9 he asked. ' ' They 
did not say that you were to be sent for. I 
didn't expect you for a long time yet." 

"But aren't you glad?" she cried. 

Again he only answered as before, ' ' How did 



Comfort for the Bereaved 273 

you come? I didn't expect you." And there 
was no gladness in his tone. 

With a bitter cry she turned from him. "I 
am going to my parents, ' ' she faltered ; ' ' they, 
at least, will welcome me." So she went on 
until she found her parents. But instead of 
the tender love for which her heart was sick, 
she met only the same cold looks of amazement, 
the same astonished questions. Dazed and 
heart-broken she turned from them. 

"I will go to my Saviour!" she cried. "He 
loves me if no one else does." 

Then in her dream she reached the Saviour. 
She was right — there was no coldness there. 
But through his love the sorrow of his voice 
thrilled her into wondering silence. "Child, 
child, who is doing your work down there?" 

At last she understood. 

Be very careful of your life. But the best 
way to take care of one 's life is to be very busy 
in doing the work which the Master gives one 
to do. 

TO A MOTHER WHOSE CHILD HAS DIED 
SUDDENLY 

IT seems very clear to me that from the be- 
ginning the brightness of heaven lay on 
your child's life, setting her apart for 
early translation. Evidently her life was too 



274 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

frail, too ethereal, for earth. She was only 
lent to you for a little stay. 

Another thing, my dear friend, there is not 
the least reason why yon should chide your- 
self with any carelessness in the matter. How 
could you have been more careful than you 
were? Of course, if the physician had told 
you the contents of the pills or had marked 
the bottle so as to indicate their character, 
and you had then not taken due care, you might 
have blamed yourself. As it is, there is not a 
shadow of reason why you should chide or 
question yourself. 

As I said before, her precious life was fin- 
ished — that is all we know. What a blessed, 
beautiful life it was ! What a ministry of good 
she wrought in your home, in your life! She 
left touches of benedictions in you which will 
be in your soul forever. Then, her work being 
done, she went home. 

Think of her stay with you as of a visit of 
one of God's brightest angels from heaven to 
leave in your home and life holy memories and 
fragrances, and to speak God's sacred mes- 
sages to your heart. 

As to the manner of her departure, I would 
raise no questions. All efforts to reason 
through the logic of the tangle which your mind 
finds only makes the perplexity the sorer. You 



Comfort for the Bereaved 275 

know your heavenly Father neither does nor 
permits anything that harms one of his little 
ones. A doctor was negligent, and his negli- 
gence produces a sad result. God does not 
ordain negligence. Do not think that he does. 
He does not ordain sin. He ordains only 
beauty and fidelity. 

But here is where God's wisdom and love 
come in. He takes men's mistakes, negli- 
gences, errors, even their sins, and out of all 
the confusion wrought by them he brings 
beauty. 

Your child was taken away through the re- 
sult of a physician's careless act, we will say; 
but she did not die a moment before God's time 
for her to go. Her work was done and the 
time allotted to her completed, and God came 
down and sweetly bore her away. 

My dear friend, will you not bid your heart 
cease its questions and lie down in peace in 
the Father's bosom ? I know you believe in 
God's love, and know that he has your darling 
in his own sweet keeping for you. What I ask 
you to do is simply to trust God and not ques- 
tion. It only makes your head ache to try to 
understand these things. Do not try — trust 
instead. 

Of one thing you may be perfectly sure — 
you are absolutely free from all blame. 

Will you not lift your eyes to God in sweet, 



276 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

loving submission? Accept what has come as 
part of his grace, his will. Take your sorrow 
as a benediction. You are a young woman, with 
your life before you. You have a husband 
whose happiness and whose life's success de- 
pend upon you far more than you think. God 
has given you another precious child to train. 
Then you have friends and work for Christ 
in their behalf. God does not want you to faint 
and lie in the dust of your sorrow, but to rise 
up and do the sweet work that is yours. 



TO A WIDOW 

I DID not know your husband, but it has 
been a great delight to me to hear so 
much testimony to his noble character 
from those who knew him well. This testimony, 
from varied sources, is wonderfully concur- 
rent — all uniting in painting a picture of him 
which is wonderfully like the Master's. Know- 
ing him as you did, in all the intimacy of af- 
fection, which revealed to you all that was best 
and truest and manliest in him, you must have 
a precious legacy of sweet and inspiring mem- 
ories. Death has a strange power. It shows 
our loved ones to us at their best, unveiling 
•hitherto concealed beauties, gathering up al- 
most forgotten recollections, bringing out into 



Comfort for the Bereaved 277 

clearer, fuller vividness features of tender 
loveliness, intensifying every line of strength 
and nobleness in the character, and then fix- 
ing in fadeless colors this complete portrait 
in our very soul, to stay there forever. 
Through all the experiences of your future, 
come what may, this ideal will abide with you 
and will be an inspiration, a benediction to 
your life. You can never lose this friend of 
your youth, this husband of your heart. Al- 
ways will he be yours. Other friendships can 
never disturb this one. Other impressions 
made upon your life by other lives can never 
overlay nor dim this picture so sacredly en- 
shrined. His going out of your sight only gave 
him to you in intenser reality and more pre- 
cious closeness and more inseparable union, life 
with life. 

Still the question comes now and ever will 
come, "Why was he taken away?" All that 
is now learned from so many sources of his 
influence as a Christian, of his power over 
other men, of his activity to do good and to 
be useful, makes this question the more clam- 
orous for answer. We rest in our faith in God. 
I have read that the widow of Dr. Livingstone, 
when she looked upon her husband's body, 
brought back from Africa, said something like 
this: "There lies the body of my husband, 
my dearest earthly friend, my only earthly 



278 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

support; but I cannot forget that there lies also 
the will of God." And in that will of God 
there was infinite love combined with infinite 
wisdom. I know you find peace in this same 
precious faith. 

It is not wise for us to try to know why God 
takes away — God's ways are too high for us. 
Yet one truth is growing upon me as I go on 
— that we are not kept in this world so much 
for the little work we can do here, as to be 
trained for our real life work hereafter, in 
other spheres. We say, amid our tears, " Just 
when he seemed ready to become really useful 
and a blessing God took him away. How 
strange ! ' ' But is not the reason that the 
friend's work was not here, that he was only 
at school, in training, in this present life, and 
was taken away because he was ready to be 
really useful and a blessing? "His servants 
shall serve him: and they shall see his face." 
Your husband was trained here for the true 
serving, and then God called him home to give 
him his work somewhere in his wide, glorious 
kingdom, somewhere close to himself, under 
his own eye, where he can look into the Mas- 
ter's face as he serves. 

I know you will rejoice, even in your loneli- 
ness and sorrow, in the blessedness and joy 
into which your husband has entered before 
you. Your work is yet in this world. Your 



Comfort for the Bereaved 279 

child needs you, and your ministry will be to 
train this little one for a sweet, beautiful life, 
and for heaven. May God strengthen you for 
this service. And may he comfort your heart 
in your sorrow. He is most gentle, and his 
hand binds up and heals — never breaks — the 
bruised reed. 

Commit your life with its broken plans and 
shattered hopes into the hands that bear the 
nailmarks. He will so reshape and readjust 
it that nothing shall be lost, no plan fail, no 
hope wither, so that the crushed flowers may 
yet grow into fairer, sweeter beauty. 



ON THE LOSS OF A FEIEND 

YOUE sorrow is very tender, and yet it 
has about it a sweet sacredness which 
robs it of bitterness. The fact that 
your friend was so noble, so true, so beautiful 
in character, and so like his Master, makes 
your grief a memory of " whatsoever things 
are pure, whatsoever things are lovely.' ' If 
he had not been a good man and a Christian 
your sorrow would be very bitter. 

It is never best to try to explain sorrows. 
There is precious comfort, forever, for you, in 
the assurance that God has a plan for each life, 
and that his plan is not marred or broken 



280 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

when a life fails to fulfill our plan for it. Your 
plan for his life was not realized. You had a 
beautiful vision of many years, years of no- 
ble development of character and of great use- 
fulness. In that vision your own life blended, 
with its hopes and joys. That was your plan. 
But now the roses lie faded at your feet. 

But God had a plan for his life — and for 
yours. ' ' Every man is immortal until his work 
is done. ,, God's plan was not shattered when 
death touched the life that was so dear to you.' 
Nor was God's plan for your life spoiled when 
this lovely vision faded. What remains is not 
what you hoped for. You loved him; he loved 
you; your lives became mutual benedictions. 
He left touches and impressions upon you 
which you will carry forever. You will be a 
different woman always for having loved and 
been loved. Now he is in heaven, but not with 
a broken life. He is living there the life be- 
gun here. Earthly life is but preparatory — ■ 
a school, to fit us for the real life of eternity. 
You stay here, lonely now and desolate, but 
neither is your life a broken one in God's sight. 
First, you were blessed with love, and your 
heart was warmed and thrilled. Then sorrow 
came, and sorrow is God's messenger, one of 
God's teachers sent to you. Love and sor- 
row are fitting you for service in this world. 



Comfort for the Bereaved 281 

God has some work for you to do, and he is 
preparing you for it. 

Look at it in this way, will you not? Eise 
above the incidents of life and let your faith 
in God enable you to see all that I have been 
trying to picture to you. Take your life now 
as one doubly anointed by God for service. Do 
not let your loss overpower you or crush you. 
Lay the burden on him who is training you 
and leading you. Do not be afraid. Trust 
him and go sweetly on with your work. 

Some people drop their tasks when sorrow 
comes. That is the saddest possible outcome 
of grief. Sorrow really is a new divine anoint- 
ing and consecration to service. Seek now to 
know and strive to do all God's will for your 
life. Go out to be a comforter to others in 
their sorrow, since God has taught you the les- 
son in your experience. God is ready now to 
use you if you will but put yourself utterly 
into his hands. 



LET GRIEF LEAD TO SERVICE 

YOU are doing what is right by putting 
the whole matter into God's hands, and 
leaving it there, meanwhile keeping 
your own heart sweet, without bitterness, with- 
out resentment. 



282 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

One of the sweetest paragraphs in your 
letter is what you say about your husband, that 
he was always true to the highest and the best. 
This makes your sorrow very much easier to 
bear. You have the comfort of knowing that 
he was a true man, that he was God's child, 
and that he has only passed into a larger life, 
there to live, remembering you and loving you 
just as tenderly as he did while he was here 
with you. Some day you will have him with 
you again. 

I remember Bickersteth's poem. I read it 
when it first came out many years ago. I have 
not seen the book for a long time. In thinking 
of certain things in this book which you say 
you cannot quite believe, please remember that 
the book is poetry. Then remember also that 
Bicker steth's view of the future life is not one 
which presents the most comfort to Christians 
in thinking of those who have passed away. I 
prefer to take the Scriptural view, as it is set 
forth in the words of Christ himself, and also 
in the words of Paul. I am glad that your mind 
does not give hospitality to the doubts and 
fears which are suggested in much of our re- 
cent literature. 

No doubt there is mystery about the 
future. It is easy to raise questions and 
even to start doubts. In these days there 
is a school of professedly Christian men who 



Comfort for the Bereaved 283 

are trying to take from us everything of the 
supernatural in our religion, including the 
deity of Christ and his resurrection. Let me 
say to you once for all, my dear child, that 
such iconoclasm is utterly without ground or 
foundation. Let us cling to the simple teach- 
ing of the holy Scripture. At the very most 
these doubts and speculations are the thoughts 
of men who set aside entirely the words of 
Christ, ignoring them. We believe in Christ 
and in his words, and this is where our hope 
and joy are. 

You ask me what you should do. You say 
you cannot seem to get your feet on the foun- 
dation. All you can do is to creep into the 
arms of Christ and rest yourself in his eternal 
love. You cannot understand things, you can- 
not find out things that you would like to find 
out about the future. You will have to go on 
for a little while in the mists, as far as the 
future world is concerned. But if you trust 
implicitly, unquestioningly, then Christ will 
help you in your life. 

Let me suggest to you that you do not al- 
low your mind to run quite so much in the 
tracks which it has been making for itself dur- 
ing the last year. I am not trying to make you 
think less of him who has gone, but I am sure 
that if he could speak to you to-day he would 
bid you to have no anxiety or fear about him, 



284 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

but to devote your life to unfailing service for 
Christ. Do not doubt the teaching of immor- 
tality. I must not enter into any discussion of 
this question with you now, but I want to help 
you to cling to the truth, and I assure you 
nothing could be surer. Christ's own words 
are enough, l i Whosoever liveth and believe th in 
me shall never die." When he has spoken 
there is no more room for doubt; his word is 
sure — it must not be doubted. 

A good woman in Philadelphia lost her hus- 
band by death. He died away from home — 
suddenly, in a hotel where he was stopping. 
They had been married about three years. She 
was almost like a baby in her clinging to him 
and her dependence upon him. I did not know 
her then, but after her husband's funeral she 
came to me to find comfort. I took her into 
my heart as a little child, and tried to do what 
I could to help her into the light. She was not 
a Christian and did not know anything about 
Christ. I taught her the story of Christ's love 
as simply as I could, and led her to devote her- 
self to him as her Saviour and her Friend. Then 
I tried to lead her into such activity as I knew 
would be the best course for her. She united 
with the church of her choice in a few weeks, 
and in the following September took a class 
of little girls in the Sunday school there and 
gave herself up with the sweetest devotion to 



Comfort for the Bereaved 285 

teaching and helping them. I also gave her 
some women to visit, women who needed just 
the help that her sweet young life could take 
to them. One of them was an old woman, poor 
and lonely. The others were women with needs 
and sorrows of different kinds who would be 
helped by her sympathy and by her love. She 
visited these women from time to time and de- 
voted herself to her church life. To-day, after 
three years of such experience, she is one of 
the dearest, most beautiful, and most helpful 
women I know. Her grief, instead of spending 
itself in tears and questions, was turned into 
paths of service, and in helping others she 
found the help that she herself most needed. 
Let me suggest to you that in the care of your 
children and in your other duties which come 
to you in your home, and in whatever else you 
may be able to do for Christ and for his needy 
ones, you will find the comfort you seek. 

Find new paths now, paths out of the valley, 
away from the shadows, paths that lie in the 
sunlight. Think of your babies and live for 
them. Do not forget for a moment that the 
reason God left you behind when he called your 
husband away was that you had a work yet to 
do, because you could not be spared from this 
earth. Do not disappoint the Master by fail- 
ing to do in any sense what he wants you to do 
for his glory. 



286 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 



THE END WILL BE GLOBIOUS 

IT is impossible to follow out all the wind- 
ings of experiences and circumstances in 
trying to apply God's promise regarding 
prayer. I shall not attempt to go into the ques- 
tion which we talked about so fully the other 
day. I only wish in a few lines to impress the 
one point — that you trust absolutely in God's 
goodness, love, grace, wisdom and power, and 
commit to his hands and for his working out 
all the questions and perplexities and uncer- 
tainties which have made the burden of these 
weeks so heavy for you. There is not the least 
shadow of doubt that ultimate and perfect 
good will come out of the experiences through 
which you have been passing during the last 
months. You had your dreams for your child, 
and they were beautiful dreams. We begin 
dreaming dreams for our children before they 
are born. When they come into our hand we 
continue dreaming dreams, making plans for 
them, cherishing hopes, looking forward to the 
great thing-s we expect them to reach. I know 
well what this means in every father's and 
mother's heart. Then comes, as in your case, 
the cutting off of the earthly life of the child, 
and it seems to us in the first shock of our dis- 



Comfort for the Bereaved 287 

appointment that all is gone, that all the 
dreams have failed, that all the expectations 
and hopes have withered. This would be true 
if life ended with what we call death. But the 
fact is, that death is not the end but the begin- 
ning of everything beautiful. Your child 
passed through the gate and out of your sight, 
but her life is going on just as really, and far 
more fully and beautifully and richly beyond 
the gate. 

Of the dreams which you have been dreaming 
all along, not one has faded or failed you. 
Every one of them is being realized in that 
sweeter summer, in that more beautiful home 
on the other side. Immortality gives us a field 
in which everything we have thought about 
and looked for will have abundant time to ripen 
and develop. I like the phrase in the New 
Testament, "The power of an endless life." 
The words are wonderfully suggestive. The 
thought of the endless life gives meaning to all 
that is beautiful and good in life that seems so 
short to us on this side. You will think of this 
— will you not? The short years which were 
lived here by your beloved one were just the 
beginnings of the endless years. There will 
be time in this immortality for the development 
of everything beautiful to its richest and full- 
est. Love means far more when we think of its 



288 Intimate Letters on Personal Problems 

going on forever. Think what your influences 
and teaching have meant to your child in view 
of the endlessness of the life into which she has 
entered. 

I know how your heart keeps asking why's, 
even in your strongest faith, in the midst of 
your trust. We do not know why. But it is 
a great comfort to be able to trust and to be 
sure that somehow it is all right. Your son did 
not die too soon. He finished his life accord- 
ing to God's plan for it. You remember that 
Jesus lived only thirty-three years and then 
said, "I have finished the work which thou 
gavest me to do." Do not think of George's 
life as only a fragment, an unfinished life. It 
was complete as God saw it. Eemember he is 
living yet; he is going on with his work in the 
other world. 

It seems to me that there is wonderful com- 
fort in this for your heart as you think of the 
unfinished things he left. A friend of mine, a 
young man, left a letter halfway written on 
his desk, his pen stopping at the middle of a 
word. He never came back to finish it. It 
seemed to me a beautiful picture of all life 
when we leave this world. It is just a great 
mesh of half -finished things, as we drop it, be- 
cause in death we only go on to take up the 
next day in the other world what we were doing 



Comfort for the Bereaved 289 



here. We will begin next morning just where 
we left off here when God calls us away. God 
is m all of it, and the end will be glorious when 
we come to the other side. 



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